A money hipcheck: the park incident
June 25, 2018
I wasn’t there so I’m light on details but we’ll be digging into our savings to pay off a $1000 charge on the AmEx because of Sera. She got into a tussle over Father’s Day weekend and because she outweighs the other dog by 40 pounds, the other dog got the worst of it.
When PiC called to tell me that she’d wrangled with another dog, I knew just from his breathing in the three seconds before he actually said anything that something had gone terribly wrong. I hate phone calls. They’re never good news.
Sera was responding to aggression and thought she was fighting in self defense. The other dog definitely thought she was responding to Sera’s aggression and fighting in self defense.
Sera carries more than just the physical scars of healed bite marks on the top of her head that stay bare of fur, the still open wound in her ear that can’t heal because of where it is. When a dog makes aggressive noises at her, even if only warning her off, she reacts with fear because she’s learned that means she’s about to be attacked. She learned this from her family, the one that gave her up too late for her to trust other dogs easily, only after she’d been attacked several times by the family dog.
It could be a lot worse.
Sera’s wounds were generally superficial. I cleaned them and wrapped them up in ten minutes before we headed over to the clinic. The other dog’s wounds were manageable but the bites were still deep enough that they required surgery to be sure that they wouldn’t get infected. We sat with the owner at the emergency clinic until after the exam to make sure that she knew we were going to take care of it. It might not have been Sera’s fault but it was still our responsibility when she hurt the other dog.
The money was a blow but we have the savings. Far far worse was the guilt. It took me all weekend to move past the guilt of our dog hurting another dog seriously enough to require surgery. PiC was guilt-ridden too. I know that she will likely heal and be ok, she wasn’t even upset at the time of the exam, but it didn’t make us feel a whole heck of a lot better. Sera was withdrawn and jumpy all weekend. I don’t know if she was worried that we were upset with her or if she was upset by the fight too but our relationship seemed to be back to Square One.
Having a practically perfect dog for the past few years has really skewed our perceptions of what’s normal! Flawed dogs that react to perceived threats are normal. Seamus is the weird one – he who doesn’t respond with more than a blink and a sneeze to dog aggression, who gets along with every single dog he meets, who can tolerate even the most aggravating and rude dogs. He’s friends with cats. Cats like him. I’m disappointed that I lost sight of how high he’d set the bar.
The other owner and PiC were shaken that morning. I wasn’t shaken, I’ve worked with too many dogs over many years and seen worse dog bites and dog fights, but I’m disappointed. I was fooled by her seeming good cheer with Seamus. Because who doesn’t love Seamus? And who doesn’t back down immediately when Seamus corrects them? He only bares his teeth at her when she’s pushed him too far, or is about to cross a line, and looks at her steadily. He even lets her steal his bully stick so when he says NO, she listens. But he does it so calmly and quietly, it’s clear that he’s not about to start a fight.
It’s also clear that my obedience training at home alone isn’t going to be enough to handle her mental baggage, we need to work with a pro to fix that (I hope, learned) reactivity.
I’m working on finding that. We just keep racking up the expenses – I have got to reverse this trend. One of the dogs needs to start earning an income!
And then over this weekend, Sera added a nice tip for the emergency vet when she got bitten by something and puffed up like a Shar Pei with the mumps. But we escaped lightly at just under $200 because I had already dosed her with Benadryl as soon as I saw her hives.
We call those bleeding money months. 🙂
I’m not sure there’s much you can do to shoo away the little black cloud when it settles over you. Sometimes the proverbial stuff doth happen. During these times, I try to just take deep breaths and remind myself that this is why we have an oh, shyt fund–so named because that’s my first reaction to incidents that warrant tapping it.
Very apt! I often try to hunker down and not cause any MORE mistakes in any month where something’s happened. That’s about all we can do!
Oh man I’m so sorry! I’m glad both dogs will be OK though. I can’t imagine how I’d feel. And yes, it does feel like when it rains, it becomes a shit storm. How do I deal with that. Really just accepting said shit storm and know that it will pass. Also knowing other people experience the same thing helps me too.
Thank you!
Knowing it SHOULD pass is helpful 🙂
Oh gosh, I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope both dogs recover fully soon.
Good luck with behavior training. I don’t know much about dogs at all. We’ve only had cats. They are way easier.
Thank you!
In some ways I find cats easier but I hate the litter box so there are trade-offs 🙂
Oh no! I’m glad it wasn’t worse. Good luck with the training!
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Thank you!
That sounds really stressful! I’m sorry you all went through that. Best of luck with the training. I hope things calm down for you guys and nothing new crops up anytime soon.
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Thank you, we do too!
Sorry to hear that!! Sounds like both dogs will be okay from the incident. Hope all is well with the behavior training!
I think they’ll both heal ok but I sure hope that’s not going to be an issue ever again! So stressful!
Oh, dear! Sounds like a never-rains-but-it-pours episode. I do hope both hounds will soon be OK, and that this doesn’t cost you any more.
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It was! Thank you 🙂
Oh poor baby. All of my dogs have been rescues, and our first one was the love of our life, but also had horrible horrible dog aggression. And it never mattered that we kept her close and didn’t let her wander or get close enough to do anything to other dogs… Other dogs (usually small ones) always managed to get up to her and start a fight. It was horrible. 🙁 We aren’t sure what she experienced before she came to us, but it left a very very deep scar.
I’m glad you guys were able to fend for it financially and it didn’t cause too much of a financial dent. I’d definitely more upset about it happening than the money myself. 🙁 Poor doggies on both sides….
It’s almost always the smaller dogs that come too close, too. I don’t know why that is.
Yeah I’m not a FAN of digging into savings for this, who would be, but that’s what it’s there for.
Oh, that’s upsetting 🙁
I’m glad that the dogs are OK. Sera is in very good hands, and with all of the diligent care that you’re giving to her, I have no doubt that she will end up well socialized. I talked with a very dedicated “mom” of a rescue pet, and as she described all that has been involved in the care of the dog, I was so impressed. It’s a whole other level of devotion involved. But her Zoe is lovely – still with her quirks, but completely manageable.Give it time and your dedication. Sera will get there.
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