Good Things Friday (46)
January 3, 2020
1. Talking to friends whose kids are in activities year round, I definitely feel like a slacker parent. The kids are in a year round sport (4 nights a week) plus a seasonal sport every season and they’re only doing all of this because the kids still have so much fun and love it all. They CAN do it because they have good health and a nanny and a whole lot of money between the two of them so I don’t feel guilty for not doing it before but I do feel like I might need to kick myself in gear this year and start taking JB to more than one 30 minute activity per week. That was always the plan but I only managed to add one activity last year on our budget and our time constraints. Maybe I could manage two this year? PiC does equal ferrying to lesson duty for the one activity so it’s not all on me. This is mainly to keep zir active and really I’d love to add another sport thing for PiC, I think he’d be happier with another sport hobby. But it’s all $$$$.
2. This year I’m working on somehow cutting out my intense feelings of worry over a friend’s domestic abuse situation that is only going to escalate from the Intensely Worrying stage to whatever is after that, so I can focus on being supportive without wrecking myself. Wrecking myself doesn’t help anyone. Is this possible? Let’s find out.
I’m so sorry to hear about your friend in an abusive relationship. Captain Awkward has some really good scripts on her website — you might want to start with posts about ‘Darth Vader Boyfriend.’ The link below is from a recent post about the most-read pieces from 2019.
https://www.loveisrespect.org/content/questions-to-ask-friend/
Thanks! Thankfully they have recognized the abuse and now need support to safely escape the situation but I did absolutely start with Cap early on.
Our neighbors’ kids have activities every weeknight (sports, music lessons, karate lessons, Boy/Girl Scouts) and it does make me feel like a slacker. However, they’ve made tradeoffs on other things I consider important (like sitting down to a family dinner). Plus, I think there’s plenty of articles coming out now over the lack of unstructured time for kids. Also, I just don’t want the added work . š
I should say that I’m absolutely ok with the general feeling of being a slacker in contrast with those families because I don’t want to choose the trade-offs they do. So that’s ok. But I DO think the few things I want to put JB in are important for zir health and discipline. The rest of the time stays unstructured š