Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (24)
November 17, 2020
Week 34 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Week 34, Day 234: I had a completely horrible night of sleep because of course that’s how you want to start a week that’s already going to be rough.
This recipe for Slow Cooker Meatballs in Tomato Sauce didn’t have wonderful reviews but it seemed good enough and we happened to have ground beef, ground turkey, and the other ingredients on hand so I tackled it first thing this morning. It just made sense to start early in the day so I could space the steps apart enough to not completely exhaust myself.
The plan was good, anyway. But I was wrecked from Smol Acrobat’s antics all last night and well into today. Then, of course with tomorrow being Election Day, there’s a massive undercurrent of stress and lack of focus. I’ve had to be more selective about what I can read to do with all the voter suppression. We’ve voted, donated, and done what we can. The die is somewhat cast.
*The meatballs turned out pretty well with a combination of ground beef and ground turkey.
Week 34, Day 235: It’s Election Day in the US and I am deliberately ignoring it entirely. We voted two weeks ago, we’ve been donating to support better candidates across the US, we’ve done all that can be done. There’s nothing more we can physically (with our constraints and limitations) do today, and stressing over this uncontrollable unknowable thing in addition to stressing over pregnancy and pandemic and JB’s education today will absolutely be the death of me. It doesn’t mean I’m not feeling it, I’m just being very conscious to mostly keep away from all the early reporting because I will just sit in a morass of panic and dread with bits and pieces of information. So. I focused / tried to focus / failed to focus on daily stuff.
It took me half the morning to update Seamus’s Very Detailed List of 9 medications and supplements, his medication schedule, and the refill schedule for every single medication.
We’re increasing our payroll deductions by about $90 a pay period, I think. This is me choosing not to worry about the exact amounts the paychecks will be in January. I don’t have the brainpower. It will be as it will be and I’ll figure it out.
I looked at my 2021 spreadsheet template and oh, how many changes I had to make. I had to remove the rental’s expenses (yay!) and change due dates for utilities and the mortgage.
Speaking of that I’ve been trying to get my dang refinanced mortgage account online and I get an error message every single time. I’ve tried emailing and calling but can’t through to anyone. This is not awesome. I emailed our broker to try and get a good contact.
It turns out they’ve already turned around to sell our mortgage to some other unknown company so that’s why I can’t get online access. The one silver lining there is the guy offered to let me pay by phone with a credit card with no extra fees so hey, for the first and maybe only time, I can put the mortgage on the credit card and get points for it! We will have the cash to pay in full so we’re not being reckless here. I don’t love that I feel like I’m in the technological Middle Ages with this stuff though, that I can’t see anything online. That’s incredibly annoying.
Week 34, Day 236: Darn. Our mortgage refi bank has already sold our loan and I can’t even pay by credit card to get the points because it’s gone. But only gone from this servicer, it’s not yet set up with the new one yet, so a month after closing I still can’t set up my online account. There is something deeply unsettling about that.
I had the strongest memory today thinking about a particular fuzzy jacket that JB wore when they were about two or going on two. PiC wasn’t feeling well so we left him napping in the bedroom while JB, Seamus and I snuck out for a walk. Seamus was still spry then, and JB was a curious creature so we were bound for Adventure! Really just a walk to a nearby courtyard but there were all kinds of things to investigate along the way. So I told them to put their jacket on while I put Seamus’s leash on and I saw them do a version of the Bartlet for the first time. They laid the jacket down on the ground, upside down, then slipped their arms in and flipped the jacket over their head. It was kind of amazing. I was thinking about how much simpler life was with one toddler and childcare and just one healthy big dog with all the smarts you could hope for.
Our landscape this time around is very different.
Smol Acrobat, speaking of, has been picky from the start all the way through this dang pregnancy and I am hoping this isn’t predictive of postnatal life. They like red meat and cheese and fruit and nuts. Also potatoes and corn pasta. They love all kinds of Mexican food and most kinds of Asian food. They are vehemently against most cooked vegetables. I still can’t look at brussels sprouts. Broccoli has only recently become acceptable again but I can’t think too much about it or else. Everything about pregnancy is weird.
Week 34, Day 237: I could have done without the bad news at work this morning, really I could have. Then my afternoon was shot with dealing with other troublesome issues.
At one point I just wanted to give up working entirely because what was the point of working in 5 and 10 minute increments trying to tend to everyone who needed attention?? I didn’t but definitely wanted to. I persevered long enough to get through the worst of things and then left to make some dinner. Giving myself permission to walk away and come back after dinner instead of forcing myself to finish everything before dinner is oddly freeing. Not so awesome at the back end but better for my mental state and anxiety. I am studiously ignoring the political news updates because this week’s just too much even without the constant tension. I know friends on Twitter who are constantly refreshing their browsers and if I weren’t already full up with pandemic and pregnancy and parenting and the more than full time job, maybe I’d be right there with them. But I am. So I’m not. I know we may have to get back into the fight and I’m sparing myself right now so there is some me left to fight when the time comes.
I am thinking ahead to the weekend. I’d really like to try making my own sugar free hot chocolate and that keto sugar free cheesecake I’ve been contemplating for a week. I have the ingredients, I just need to time and energy and willpower. The slow cooker meatballs were a big enough hit for me to plan to try making them again for the freezer. Except if I want to make them Saturday, I might need to pick up extra basil. I nearly denuded our little plant for the first batch and it won’t be able to put out enough new leaves in time for my second batch. I’ve been feeling like a ticking time bomb and it makes me feel pressured to get alllll the things done now now now.
Week 34, Day 238: PiC has completed so much peopling. He’s talked to dozens of people about the yardwork we need, gone over designs, and we’ve finally gotten to the point of committing to a contractor. That feels like it went fast but that’s probably because it’s 2020 and time has lost all meaning.
Thank goodness he handled all of that because a) I never would have gotten it done and b) if I had come close I would have thrown things during the whole process.
So we’re scheduled to start that work soon, and if all stays on schedule, they think the project will be done before the end of the year. If. Big if. Because again it still is 2020. So I’m not holding my breath but I would greatly appreciate any good wishes and luck you have to share on this front.
Informed PiC that since every week of this pandemic has felt like a month to a year I’ve felt pregnant for 27 years. This is a very strange year.
