Figuring out my closet
September 27, 2022
I’ve been cycling through two bras, a pair of laughably torn jeans, and a handful of tees that still fit, all to put off the effort of clothes shopping that I hate so much. When we picked up a a sack of random hand me downs for JB, it also came with a bag of hand me downs for me! Five pairs of usable jeans, two bras and three nicer tee-blouses.
The abundance was greatly appreciated, it filled the three big gaps in my wardrobe and also compounded my chagrin. Because I’ve been staring at my wardrobe for months trying to figure out how to fix the problems in there.
Pregnancy and post-pregnancy life blew up my wardrobe. I added 3 pairs of light soft pants and 4 pairs of comfy warm sweats, and 3 skirts from early pregnancy. I hated buying clothes to fit my pregnant and uncomfortable body, knowing that I’d be facing this very problem, but I needed something to wear. I also own more sweaters and jackets than seems sensible for one person but I wear most of them, in a rotation.
There’s probably enough for a different outfit for 14 days if I were so inclined. Since I’m not, it feels like I’m holding onto too many clothes.
That feeling means there’s no room for adding anything I like and would find useful unless I get rid of a lot first. Skirts on hot days instead of shorts is a recent development. My one skirt fits better than any of my shorts and the pockets are AMAZING. So I’d like a second twirl skirt. But adding anything to this mishmosh is counter-intuitive. Also, am I going to be a non-shorts person going forward? OR will I regret donating the shorts and going to skirt-based hot day gear?
Then there are the pieces I don’t wear at all.
The marigold blouse and the crimson tank top, tailored to fit my pre-child self perfectly under a blazer I also never wear, are looking at me accusingly. I want them to go to a better home, I’m never going to fit them again, but being a weird size means I haven’t got anyone to give them to and selling them is nearly impossible. Donating means they’ll probably be thrown out and that makes me sad. I don’t want to contribute to landfill. But the current alternative is they live in my closet forever. Ideas? I thought about thredup but they won’t take any altered.
I won’t ever be a three outfit person nor do I want a walk in closet. I just want my wardrobe to be small and functional without feeling like it’s too much or too little. I’m happiest running a little lean, somewhere in the middle. JB used to say, Daddy’s the biggest, I am the smallest, and Mommy is the mediumest. This describes what I want my closet to reflect perfectly.
Writing this shed a touch of clarity on what I should do next. But this also raised a handful of questions:
It would be helpful to establish what goes with what else and shedding the things that don’t work as part of an outfit. Is anyone good at this?
– I had decided to clear out all bottoms without pockets: shorts, leggings, skirts. I’ll always need pockets. This is also true of my dresses. I won’t buy any dresses or skirts or pants without pockets. This was easy when it came to the shorts that I don’t usually wear BUT I have a few pairs of good quality leggings that I’m puzzling over. Great quality, but no pockets. Do I keep them even if I’m much less likely to wear them? Does less likely mean not at all likely? No pockets is a dealbreaker for anything new, and I haven’t touched them since I could probably fit in them again post-second pregnancy, so is it logical to assume that I have moved on from them?
– White jeans. These fit the best of the hand me downs and are so comfortable with great pockets. But they’re white. I have two kids and a dog. I am not a parent who can resist getting down in the dirt with any of them, even if I myself were a neat person to begin with (I’m not). I could probably wear these on vacation in specific settings. Is it worth holding on to a pair of jeans just for the occasional vacation? Seems silly. I know friends who buy clothes specifically for vacations. Is holding on to a single pair of jeans just for “special occasions” any different?
– A couple of sweatshirts that went with those leggings that also haven’t been touched since before second pregnancy. They could be useful? Except again I haven’t touched them since unearthing them from the pregnancy box … I think I just answered my own question there.
I am working through some of the pieces by writing this post but overall, I have very few answers as to what would make my closet feel like it’s what I need. Could someone could come make my closet make sense?
Refugee organizations sometimes take lightly used clothing.
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I went down a few rabbitholes searching the local refugee organizations and found so many more ways I want to fill my time that is not yet free.
My two cents is to purge anything that you haven’t worn since pre-pandemic. But also I hate clutter and don’t like stuff I don’t use sitting in my closet for too long.
In terms of waste, I think the honest truth is that most clothes that get donated will end up in landfills. I’ve taken to textile recycling over clothing donations. Also my husband sews so we’ll sometimes “save” old clothes for scraps to use in various projects / raw materials for other clothing repairs.
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I also hate clutter and don’t like things taking up space in my closet!
I went down yet another rabbithole searching for textile recycling hereabouts. I know I’ve seen it before but lost track of the name.
Clithing isnt my strong suit, but good fitting jeans are precious and i thought: would they take dye well?
As for the altered clothes: is it that they are very small? If that is the case, would they maybe work for teens? Even if they were just “job interview” clothes due to level of formality, that might be useful to someone.
I was resistant to the idea of dying because I imagined the process to be messy and time consuming but it sounds like it might not be so bad thanks to Twitter-based friends. I will consider it!
Yes, they are 00P that were altered to be even smaller. I wish there was a specialty petites donation shop for teens/young adults who need good clothes.
I feel your confusion! One thing I found useful was getting a color analysis. I used birthday money to pay someone, but there are books and websites that will walk you through it.
Doing this gave me a set of colors that all work together and look good on me. I started by getting rid of everything that wasn’t one of those colors, and only buy clothes in those colors. Color becomes the first sorting criteria.
After that, make a list of the basic places you need clothes for. (That sounds odd…) I need clothes for work, for casual non-work days, for exercise, for warm and cool weather, for fancy occasions.
For work, I need workplace casual clothes that I can move around in. I don’t want to repeat outfits too often. I have 3 pants, 5 plain tees/tanks, 5 pullover tops, 3 top layers (blazers/big shirts/sweaters). I have shoes for warm and cool, and various accessories, mostly jewelry and scarves.
Work is my largest category. For exercise, I have two pair of shorts and a half dozen tees, plus socks and shoes.
Do the same kind of breakdown for each area. Then look and see what you actually have. Identify where you have too much, clothes that don’t fit your plan, and then what you need.
Good luck!
Thanks for this framework! I bet this will be really useful, and I can just take it one step at a time. I hope it’s useful to other readers too.
I do exactly this!
I’m a Spring. 😉 (cool pastels, pinks, blues, purples) Though I don’t think seasons for color coding are all that popular anymore, and they tended to put anyone who wasn’t white into a single season (summer, I think?), so probably not that useful now that it’s no longer the early 80s.
I adopted a uniform/capsule wardrobe before it was a thing– basically I have different sections of my closet– teaching/conference days (business or dressy business casual), non-teaching days (business casual), leaving the house but not going into work (casual), and pajama/lounging/workout. All tops go with all bottoms in each section. I do a first in first out system for everything so they all get about even wear. I also have black cardigans to throw over things if it’s cold.
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Seasonal colors were everywhere in the 80s! They are still around and have evolved and improved, and definitely figured out that not everyone is white. I was an Autumn back in the day, with aging, I’ve faded and in one of the systems, I’m True Perillian Spring. There are several systems, and it really doesn’t matter. The key is you get a limited set of colors that go together to use as your first sort.
Adding (from the conversation over on grumpy rumblings):
I’m sure you know about other methods of giving decluttered stuff directly to people, but just as reminders:
We often use Craigslist Free to get rid of stuff. We’ll just put it all out and be like, these things will be out on our sidewalk/driveway (depending on where we’re living) until X time or they’re picked up, whichever comes first.
A lot of people have luck with freecycle too, but we’ve only used it back in like 2010 when we were living elsewhere for a year. (We were able to get rid of our worm bin via freecycle when we moved back here, which felt nice.)
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I do wish Freecycle were more of a thing in our area! I might have PiC do the Craiglist free thing since he’s in charge of our Craigslisting.
“Donating means they’ll probably be thrown out and that makes me sad. I don’t want to contribute to landfill.”
I struggle so much with this. I hate throwing things away and would rather donate them, but at some point, I have to accept that maybe no one wants the things. And I remind myself that it has to start at the source, so the key is to buy second hand and/or buy less. It is the main reason I like 2nd hand clothes/ things – it is not primarily for the price, it so I don’t add to the landfill
I have decent luck on facebook Buy nothing groups or facebook free. I’ve never tried to give adult clothes away, just for general items, but I’ve seen some people post free items. Specially altered might be tough.
My other trick is to get rid of things slowly and in small batches so it feels easier. Not sure if that is a real trick since it also takes forever
All that said – my closet could use help too, and I’m not quite sure what to do with it, so like reading your process.
I wish I could do secondhand. The same reason my stuff is unlikely to be used by others is why it’s so hard to acquire secondhand, too!
I do try to mitigate by not buying very much, and keeping it as long as I can, but it doesn’t really help when it comes time to part ways. I do the slow decluttering thing too, but that seems to be just a psychological trick I play on myself to minimize guilt?
It is possible to add pockets to leggings! Especially if you’re willing to sacrifice one pair to the cause. (I’ve done this with some clearance leggings.)
I also need to do a major closet clearing!
Ooh that’s an idea! I’m not prepared to sacrifice these as they are all in such good shape but I’m going to tuck that idea away for other things.
I do something similar to what Juli recommends. I would also get rid of anything that you haven’t worn since having kids. My body changed shapes so tremendously, that even though I’m at a similar weight, things just don’t fit. My ribs & hips both expanded, and aren’t going back. My feet also grew.
I’d donate on Buy Nothing. In my area, most of the clothes given away are extremely tiny (00 is a common size), given the demographics, & petite sizing of folks. I’m often sad that no one is giving away a 6 or 8 🙂
My favorite things to buy are vacation clothes. To be fair, I buy them & keep them for a decade, because a classic summer black dress never goes out of style. I have the following in my closet:
-Black dresses. Various fabrics & levels of casual/modesty. These go everywhere from Las Vegas, to Hawaii on the beach, so quite a range of styles. They get worn certainly, just in a more concentrated time period. Also good for date nights, weddings, & the like.
-Workout clothes. I’ve streamlined, and have tanks, tshirts, a couple of long sleeved options. I also have three types of workout pants (for at home, my ugliest ones with a cropped bootcut, that are truly hideous, then my really preferred ones for a hard workout/doesn’t slide around or chafe, & then finally my favorite cozy leggings for around the house). I have a few hoodies to mix & match.
-Work clothes. Jeans, tanks, cardigans. Rothys.
-Any scenario not covered by the above. I rarely do anything not covered by the above, but I have a few dressier tops & things for date nights.
I went to Nordstrom, bought three tanks, and five tshirts last year. I really liked the brand, and as a result, tossed almost everything else. I can layer, they are cut & fit well, and look like they will hold up nicely.
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I love this, thank you so much for sharing in detail. So helpful to see how other folks have tackled and streamlined and adjusted.
I also didn’t realize that having your ribs change shape wasn’t just a thing I was imagining!
It’s crazy how you can be at the same weight, but your body can be totally different. I’m in better shape than I was right before getting pregnant (I was in grad school, so not working out a ton), but my body was just different. It’s not in your imagination! I’m most sad about the increased foot size. I’m now right between two sizes, which is a hassle to shop for.
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