By: Revanche

Money & Life Report: December 2022

January 3, 2023

On Money

Income

Our primary income comes from our full time jobs. We have minimal income from investing in index funds and dividend stocks (all reinvested). We earn money on the side to supplement our main incomes. We get a bit of income from Swagbucks, cash back sites (Rakuten, Mr.Rebates) and affiliate links to Bookshop and Amazon sometimes pay a micro-commission to keep the blog running. The sidebar has ways to support the blog and our charitable giving.

Our long term goal is to replace our day job income with passive income before my health prevents me from working. I know from my Mom’s experience that qualifying for or relying on disability is incredibly tough or near impossible here in CA. Aside from that, I aim to do my best to make the most of what we can do while we can.

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Dividend income. We received $400 in dividends from the stocks portfolio.

Spending

Holiday related spending was quite a bit.

I sent presents to most cousins or niblings ahead of the holiday period but despite my usual preference to get the presents all finalized before December, I still had to buy a handful of gifts at the last minute. I vow to do better for myself next year. I mean, sure, for the gift recipients too but mostly my concern is for my stress levels. They were not great this year.

Not spending

Home haircuts for PiC, JB, and Smol: est $78 saved. JB is big enough that I can trim their hair with a fair bit of shifting and whining but no tears. They also benefited from a few years with a real hairdresser, PiC’s, before having to accept the poor substitute of Mom cuts during the pandemic. Unfortunately, she retired during the pandemic and I’m still very sad about that. We never got to say goodbye. And also I very deeply miss her wisdom, haircutting and otherwise. We were lucky that she’d gifted us a set of student scissors in 2019 and advised me on how to give JB really basic trims. Smol Acrobat is still young enough that they’re a real challenge and I haven’t been up to the task. But there came a day when PiC simply could not get near them to cut their hair. It was far too long and about to dip into their eyes, we couldn’t put it off any longer, so I walked in and offered my services. I have not been the parent of choice these past few weeks so I really expected them to pivot back to dad when I asked “Mama help?”

Boy was I surprised when they said yah, and burrowed into my side. Well. Ok then. We stayed there like that for the next 20 minutes while I worked my way awkwardly around their head. It was looking a lot like they’d come away with a “stylish” short cut on one side and long hair on the other, until I had the bright idea of sending JB to fetch Lucky Charms. JB feeding them like a dog with treats not only got us through the haircut, it even bought their goodwill.

Giving

On giving: we have worked really hard and been very fortunate that our hard work paid off in significant ways that I couldn’t have dreamt of when I first started this blog. Though we have not reached our FI number where I can feel like all income is gravy, we’ve always felt it was important to lend a helping hand. Many people say they’ll give back later, when they’re financially set. I say that if we don’t practice and prioritize giving now, we won’t give later either.

All year round I run the Lakota Giving Project, donate to organizations that help people and animals in need and engage in mutual aid.

We wrapped a huge fundraiser last month and I made myself take a break and rest for a while no matter how badly I wanted to get back into the action. It’s not good for me to give into that impulse, I’ll drain myself dry if I do. I have updated the Giving page here to have as a perpetual page with all the background links for folks who are interested.

We still did offer mutual aid that doesn’t take a great deal of effort in most cases.

Saving and investing

Our total contributions this year was 15% of our base. That is most definitely not what we ended the year with. No surprise here.

While we missed out on the lowest lows before 2022, I hope that the prices we bought at in 2022 will be considered lows when it comes time to sell.

I most likely can’t be as aggressive with saving and investing in 2023, I should stick with a more reasonable weekly investing amount than I did this year.

Net worth

We ended the year lower than we started the year. Not a huge surprise. I’m going to hope that this will eventually bounce back.

On Life

Entertainment.

I tried Romesh Ranganathan’s comedy special on Netflix but quit after a bit. He makes fun of his own wife and kids with the attitude that “I’m a comedian, you should know I’m just messing about.” Ok but us being mean about our kids, jokingly at home with friends, is totally different from calling them stupid on stage in front of people.

Trevor Noah was better. I still chuckle whenever I cross a crosswalk and glare at drivers, thinking of his bit about traffic lights and Americans.

Hannah Gadsby’s Douglas was amazing. That was full on laughter.

Tig Notaro was funny, I appreciate a dry humor. I started with her 2018 show and went back into the archives of the 2012 Live (as in to live, not it’s live) show whereupon I understood her 2018 joke about her health much better. There was a bit about her mother in the older show: “my mother was the one person who truly understood me.” I’ve been thinking about what an absolute gift that was. I’m not sure I could say that with certainty about anyone.

A few friends online were talking about Firefly Lane so I gave it a try. At first I thought it might be too precious or dramatic, but it was unexpectedly compelling. The very flawed dynamics of the best friends are a weird echo of one of the oldest relationships in my life with similar codependencies. It’s not one for one but there’s a lot. I relate to Tully with the family trauma (minus the good looks, sexcapades, and the desire for any kind of fame) and the effects that had on her later life. For many years, I clung to the people I love too much because I was desperate not to lose another loved one. I still struggle fully trust the friendships I have, no matter how good they seem, because I don’t believe that I’m worth it.

She’s a lot like Kate. She came from a seemingly stable home and has serious insecurity issues which show up in her romantic relationships repeatedly. It’s a mix, we’re both complexedly flawed. If I hadn’t begun to understand our personal flaws and the flaws in our relationship, and the patterns that we repeated for so many years, I would probably have hated the show. But I find myself having a lot more sympathy for the characters than old me would have had.

:: How was your month?

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