My kids and notes: year 9.5
August 14, 2024
Life with JB
I let the kids eat blackberries right off the bush in the backyard and that feels like, I hope, a fun core memory that will stick with them.
They’ve had a pretty whirlwind summer with big chunks of time with both sides of the family, but it never seems like enough. One week with my side, one with his side: they don’t want to come home. Two weeks with my side, they don’t want to come home. I don’t know if I could handle living in each other’s pockets the way parts of the family do… ok no, I can’t. But there are moments when I think that it wouldn’t be so bad to be able to go hang out with Grandma when we are missing her without having to pack for a ten hour drive and a week away from home.
I grew up with cousins right next door, and I loved it, but that didn’t last long. People began moving away from each other after several years as kids got older and needed more space, or rent got too expensive, or some other adult reasons. Even if we were still in the same city, things just weren’t the same when people had to drive to get to each others’ homes rather than walk. So while I do empathize with JB’s yearning to be with their people all the time forever, life just pulls us apart and I hate that kind of change but I think this is the first time I’m really processing my own childhood loneliness from the mini diaspora that I hated. JB’s experience isn’t that, we’ve never been that physically close to family, but they are envious of those parts of the family who ARE that near to one another and I feel for them.
Still, I can’t see going back to a life in Southern CA with the unending traffic and the .expectations
Life with Smol Acrobat
Smol Acrobat’s been promoted to helping me put the wash in the washer and transfer wet clothes to the dryer. They’re also tall enough to put away clean utensils now and mostly remember where everything goes so they are now in charge of that portion of clearing up. JB loves this development, they hate putting away the utensils. SA is super proud of themselves.
SA is finally mooooostly putting on their own socks and shoes without a prolonged fight over it. Fight: telling them three or five times (each) to go get socks, then to put them on, then to stop running around and put shoes on and then get them on the right feet. One less exasperating fight a day! Mostly. Sometimes.
Precious Moments
PiC: Alright kiddies!
Smol Acrobat, offended: Huh?? We not kitties!
JB: I’m a kitty.
Smol Acrobat: Me too!
*****
Me: Do you like almonds?
SA: No.
Me: Do you like pistachios?
SA: No.
Me: Do you like cashews?
SA: Yes.
Me: Do you like peanuts?
SA: Not vewwy well. But yes.
*****
SA: dis means it’s happy? (Holds up smiling cat)
Adults: yes.
SA: dis means it’s angwy? (Holds up scowling cat)
Us: yes.
SA: Puuuuoiiiiifect!
Us: … Was that a (badly mispronounced) pun???
*****
Smol Acrobat is starting to devise tactics to get what they want (to sleep in our bed): Mommy can you shower first? Den I can sweep wif you?
When advised by PiC that no, they cannot sleep in our big bed because they kick too much: “but today will weave her awone” /pleading
But you can’t help it, it’s not on purpose.
“Today I won’t!” they continue pleading.
š I’m sitting in the next room listening to the negotiations and was almost tempted to cave until I remember how much I can’t sleep when they cosleep.
I’m always impressed at your mindfulness around getting the kids involved with chores. I still fondly remember your story of JB setting the table and licking each utensil š
This morning when I woke up my dang brain was trying to remember the other name of hazelnuts (filberts!!). What on earth, brain????
I hope that if we start them young, they will at least have the skills and some sense of responsibility to maintain a reasonably decent household when it’s their turn to be independent.
I do always wonder when the other parents on the daycare chat complain about the daycare doing messy activities, saying “why can’t they teach them to clean up” etc, why wouldn’t you want them to do all the messy stuff at school so they can do the clean up stuff at home?