Self care and other things we do to ease the pain
July 11, 2018
Photo by jousi osorio on Unsplash
We are living in particularly stressful times. 2018 is even worse than 2017. GRAND.
I knew things wouldn’t be easy as we got older but as I told a friend, I never fathomed that we could be spending our middle years (ish) fighting the rise of fascism in America.
And even if we weren’t, living as a responsible adult and parent means that stress is a natural part of our lives. We have to have healthy coping mechanisms, and we have to be able to reset to neutral or happy, or we’ll never make it.
Here are a few things I do.
All things in moderation. I have a sweet tooth but the myriad of carbohydrates that would normally take care of it are now out of bounds. Now I rely on a package of Immaculate brand gluten free cookies, bought on sale. I used to think of this as cheating but that was unenlightened me. A lot of the time, I only want a couple of cookies. Mixing up a full batch is just too much trouble, but pulling out two cookies? Perfect. Which leads me to….
3 cookies. 2 for now and 1 for later. I’ve developed a little ritual of baking 3 cookies from my break apart cookies pack once a week when things are particularly tough. Two get eaten with lunch on that day, and the other one is for the next day.
#SweetTooth
Not my monkeys, not my circus. I recently went through my phone looking for a phone number, and when I spotted the phone number of Dad’s landlord, I deleted it without a second guilty thought. It’s not my responsibility and not my problem now.
I’m actively choosing not to walk down the Guilt Road, not dwelling on my mostly self perceived failings with regard to that part of the family. I’ve done my time. If and only if true remorse happens and there is solid evidence that wrongdoing won’t ever be repeated, we can think about reconciliation but it’s not even on the table now.
#SelfPreservation
An ounce of prevention… Speaking of my phone, I realized that one of the ways to make myself crazy is not having the daycare’s phone numbers handy. I keep having to look up the general public line number, then asking the not super helpful receptionist to direct my call. No more! Thanks to a change in their offices this year, JB was sent home with a handy folder with all the phone numbers written out.
I’ve now labeled and saved all the numbers to our household email account so that it would populate to PiC’s phone too. Presto!
#Organize
Location, location, location. For a native Californian, you’d think I would automatically always wear sunblock but it’s a struggle. Instead of just carrying it in my bag, which I thought would work, I’ve placed two squeeze bottles of sunblock right next to the front door. Now I literally cannot walk past the threshold without having sunblock immediately within reach. It’s working!
#MakeItHappen
Walk it off! Work frustration used to turn into a cycle of anger, staying at my desk trying to fix the problem, which fed the anger some more. Now when I catch the early edge of rage, I save what I was doing and leave for a walk or a drink of water.
#Endorphins
Put the robots to work! Thank everything for the washing machine, dryer, and dishwasher. Truly, housework would be ten times harder, and take fifty times as long if we didn’t have them. Our weather is so damp year round that we can only air dry the lightest fabrics or they’ll mold.
I’m angling for a robot vacuum again. I’m on the hunt (and saving for) a good model that can handle pet and human hair.
#MagicAutomation
Just one chocolate chip. JB loves helping me bake because it always means ze gets paid with a few chocolate chips and then gets to eat baked goods with chocolate chips hidden in them. Also because ze likes the power of wielding the mixer and splattering me from head to toe with batter.
#AlwaysChocolate
Scroll down. I take a spin through Blair Braverman‘s feed to see ALL THE PUPPIES. And amazing sled dog stories. Hari is magic.
#DogsForever
Endorphins and sleep meet my self-care needs. I’m a teacher on summer break now, and I’ve been amazed at the daily coma I slip into in the early afternoon for the past week and a half. It’s absolutely lovely. I am not yet getting daily workouts (I’m sure that will come once the comas stop), but when I do work out, those endorphins are powerful medicine! I also go for daily walks with our new puppy, and that’s great part of pet therapy š I keep hoping that this bizarre chapter of American history will either prove to be not-so-bad-after-all or come to a peaceful end via the democratic process. I’m glad you’re not letting it take over your life.
SLEEP. How did I forget that? It’s amazing if I can get enough and it can be good sleep. (That’s rare)
Pet therapy is the best, though, hands down.
I just wrote about self-care too. Some of my keys are sleep, exercise, getting outdoors, eating good food. As far as the news goes – I like to know what’s going on but other than being generally informed I try not to read/watch too much of it. It’s better for my mental health.
All the good things in life.