Terrible workplaces: A blast from the past
October 15, 2014
I was doing some back end blog work, going through old drafts and deleting them to clear out the archives etc, when I ran across an old memory that had me shaking my head all over again.
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After a colleague snooped on my phone and read my blog emails, I’d changed this blog URL and name to prevent her from finding the content. In the process, I also removed all posts that talked about work in any detail, and this was one of them (excerpts from what feels like a lifetime ago):
I work for the world’s least professional office.
I sat down and had a nerve-wracking chat with my bosses yesterday … It’s come to my attention that while I’ve been fussing about not making enough money, I really needed to bite the bullet as my poorness was really hitting me hard, psychologically.
No, I’ve never had to go hungry. But Ma always counts her pennies because it’s such a burden on me taking care of all their bills, and for some reason, that makes me feel like I’m just not doing well enough. So, take a dash of knowing that I’m absolutely responsible (it’s a cultural thing) for their uncertain futures, especially if they never manage to earn a living wage again, add three spoons of my own stress to knowing that despite all my work I’ve not secured any sort of future for them or myself when I’m ready to get married, and I’m constantly one foot over the abyss.
I racked my brains on the most polite, professional approach and borrowed heavily from Madame X’s article on how to ask for a hefty raise based on your merit and excellent performance reviews.
For many reasons, the worst of which was that I felt if I deserved it they would have already given me my raise, I didn’t want to ask. [Ed Note: I never felt this way again.] I didn’t want to admit that I needed it. I didn’t want to admit that I was struggling even with the overtime, and I really didn’t want to admit that I didn’t want to work so dang hard just to make ends meet! No matter how true it was, I wanted (needed) this raise because I really truly deserved it, not because I was struggling with home life.
I said (almost whispered, honestly) that as much as I have wanted to stay here and continue learning and growing as an employee of this office, I had reasons to need to prioritize my salary and no longer had the luxury of choosing to trade the lower salary for the current work environment (which is the best it’s ever been.) I mentioned that I’d looked up average salary ranges for offices of our size, in our area, and with fewer responsibilities and that it was significantly higher than mine. While I didn’t expect them to meet it (as it would be doubling my salary) that’s still a huge discrepancy in what I’m sacrificing in basic salary. I left it at that because I didn’t want to admit how much the sacrifice of a higher salary was hurting me personally and professionally. I also did make it clear that leaving (right now) is the last thing I want to do (because it would be a pretty stupid move to lose my health insurance and income when I have a small e-fund and so much stress and demand at home.)
I wanted this to be a professional plea, not a personal one. After all, in what employer’s mind does your rent or bills play a role in determining your salary?
Mine, as it turns out.
The boss wanted to know what the REAL reason was for this. He said that if I were happy in this environment why was I looking? Unless I was looking for a reason to jump ship, or else it had to be pressures at home that prompted this. He demanded to know the truth behind the matter, he feels like I’m too private which he hates because he wants this to be a family environment. If I have a need, I have to come right out and tell them what’s bothering me rather than hiding it.
Never mind that this is a place of business, not my personal therapist’s office… Since I didn’t want this to be a complete disaster I had to ‘fess up to the fact that yes, I’m experiencing a great deal of pressure at home and although I’ve been trying really hard to make it work, I’ve been fighting a losing battle for years.
Only in MY office does the illogical, personal crybaby approach work best. How am I supposed to learn good professional habits here??
Years later, I’m still shaking my head over that laughably bad recollection.
In that place, without a regular, formal evaluation process, there was no clear mechanism to ask for raises. That wasn’t my first job but it was the first non-retail job; asking for a raise in a unprofessional professional environment was that much more stressful.
Color me ever so grateful that I’m well out of a place where emotion trumps logic and professionalism. I was young and naive, that’s for darn sure, but even then I recognized that whole situation stank.
I’ve had my fair share of experience with terrible workplaces and bad managers over the years but this particular chapter was special. And, as is so often the case, this is only one of the many incidents (spanning sexual harassment, employment discrimination, verbal abusive and unacceptable in the workplace behaviors) that I either experienced or witnessed with terrible people. But this is one that directly pertains to money. 😉
After several years of freedom, it’s easy to look back and laugh at just how awful they were as colleagues and as people; in fact, it was huge motivation not just to get the hell out of there but to grow my career so I’d never be so dependent on or forced to stay in close proximity to awful people again.
:: I know I’m not the only one with a horror story or two, what’s your best/worst?
In my first job, I had a director who made awful rude comments about my ethnicity and appearance in front of the whole team. I made an offhand comment about it to a colleague and she reported it to HR on my behalf. Things went downhill from there and I was mortified. 9 years later, I’m still not sure what I should have done. Ugh. Regardless, I’m glad I got out of there and I’m in a better place now!
Congratulations on escaping that place!
Ugh, what possesses these people to think that’s ok? By downhill, did you mean the resolution through HR was painfully awkward and non-resolute? Now that I know what GOOD HR is supposed to be like, bad HR just makes me shudder.
Horrors!
Even nine years ago, was that legal? I hope they canned the guy.
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HR never acknowledged the complaint ever again. A few weeks later, I was blindsided by a terrible performance review, where I received negative feedback on projects that I had already gotten positive feedback in in a prior review. The company then recommended that I move into a different position that would be a better fit for me – with no client visibility and very little growth opportunity.
Luckily, I had a job offer in hand from another company and got the hell out of there. My Asian parents encouraged me to “take the high road” so I never followed up with HR or looked into filing further complaints. The offending director still works there, according to Linkedin.
The problem with following up on things like this is that…well, sure, you could win. But you’ll also end up informally blacklisted. That can make it difficult or impossible for you to find a job or advancement anywhere. The minute a future employer finds out you filed a complaint against some past employer, she’s going to figure you’re capable of doing the same to her. Bye!
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Wow! Good work making your escape from that place!
My son worked for a large insurance company (hint: it provides home and car insurance through AARP) whose management was outright abusive. He put up with it much, much longer than I would have — honestly, I would have set up camp under the Seventh Avenue Overpass before I tolerated the overwork and abuse that he did. But I think because the aftermath of the dot-com bust led to SUCH a fiasco for him, he was afraid to take quit.
Finally after a truly shocking episode of aggressive abuse and bullying, he sent out his resume to half a dozen other local insurers. Within a week, he had five interviews and two offers. He took a job with a company that gave him higher pay for half the workload. Don’t know that he loves the work, but he doesn’t complain constantly anymore.
My worst job was at a small marketing agency whose owner was a little Nero, a perfectly horrible man whose paranoia was so bizarre it was hard to figure how he managed to stay in business. He was rude, unreasonable, and belittling.
One morning I came in before he did and found a nasty note on my typewriter. That was enough of that.
I dropped the note and the keys in the middle of the office floor, took my purse, and walked out the door, leaving it locked behind me.
Hours later, he called, furious that no one was there to answer the phones (there was no voicemail in those days). I had to file a complaint with the state Labor Department to get him to pay what he owed me.
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I’m glad you actually got your pay! And good for you walking out – what a horrid creature.
When young, especially having gone through that recession, we put up with so much crap that Older Us simply cannot believe. I can understand why your son did it.
SMH. I don’t think my parents would have believed what harassment I was tolerating (and primarily to pay THEIR debt and pay their rent), but I also didn’t want them to so I never told them what monsters I worked for.
Did you end up getting the raise?? That story is completely wackadoo.
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Actually, I did. But they are absolutely Wacko and Yacko and Dot. Without the funny.
Oh completely. I don’t think I would have been able to handle that conversation as well as you did.
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I count my blessings every day that my first gig out of college was a fortune 100 company that was often ranked as a most admired company. I don’t think I could handle the gross incompetence that I often see at different places. I did have a supplier call me one of the “breast and brightest” once by accident though.
You know, some people fear change more than they fear never escaping the hopeless situation they are in. I’m so glad you’re in a better place.
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It’s pretty awesome that you worked at a generally non-dysfunctional place, it gives you a better grounding for what is and isn’t acceptable in a professional setting. I used to shake my head at the interns who worked with us and clearly thought that all the illegal and harassing behaviors were ok so did not object or think of it as anything but normal.
I am so thankful that I have always worked for reasonable people, although let’s face it every company, even the best, has its own dysfunctions.
I wasn’t really at my first job long enough to ask for a raise (1.5 years full time) and because of the union and my schedule, my take home was generally about 40% higher so I was definitely well paid, and was able to lock that in to a similar *salary* at job 2. I do wish I had asked for a raise at job 2. There was a point I could have but decided not to (combo of sheer fear and was seriously considering going off to travel), and then after returning it didn’t seem the time to do so. Should definitely have ‘leaned in’ more much as I hate that phrase.
Thsi job actually has HR processes and annual performance reviews though I hear pay raises aren’t negotiable (govt). I started a couple of months before the end of the financial year so my first will probably be at about 15 months in.
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I’ve worked at many places over the years and have so many horror stories to tell. I once worked at a factory that made casings for meat products, stuff like the brown casing that you see on summer sausages. It blew my mind how slipshod it was run, I was amazed OSHA never shut them down. Like a suspended grating that we had to walk on to inspect the drying ovens being covered with glycerin condensate. Imagine walking on a sharp, pointed, cheese grater like floor covered with non stick spray. Or like the time I got a second degree burn on an uninsulated steam pipe and when I went to the first aid station in my department, all it contained was a couple of small band-aids.
Or there is my current job, at a major, well known medical insurance company. It has a reputation as a company that is concerned about the wellness of it’s employees by the rest of the industry. Yeah, right. They make a good outward show of it, but that’s it. For example, our raises and bonuses are based on a supposed rating system. Which if it was a fair rating, I wouldn’t complain about but 30% of that rating is based on “core competencies”. Sounds great, except that part of the rating is an arbitrary number that my performance has no impact on. And another 25% of this rating is based on a metric that no one, including my supervisor, has a clue what it means but we do know that it’s always very low. The rating system is 1 through 5, with 5 being the highest you can get. Here’s something else interesting, the office I work at is the highest rated office in the five states we cover by a clear margin and yet only one person in that office has a 5 rating and only roughly 15% has a 4. Most of us struggle to get a 3, which is only considered “adequate”. And add in things like rampant nepotism and favoritism to this lovely mix and it’s such a fun place to work. Sadly, it’s one of the best companies to work for in the area I live in. It gets old.
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