By: Revanche

Race to a Wedding: Five days to a Faux-lopement

October 30, 2011

Remember how I said wedding planning was a pain, and I didn’t like it?  Well, I (and PiC) didn’t like it so very much that the unthinkable became thinkable.  And then ….

Well, at first, I thought it was a joke.

A couple days after that post on the 11th: 
“What about the end of October?”
“What about the end of October?”
“What if we just went to the courthouse?”
/head tilt/ “… to … do what?”
“You know. Get married.”
— *mentally reading the calendar* you’re going to be traveling most of this month. When are we going to talk or do anything about getting married with even just a few people present?–  “Surely you’re joking.”
No answer from PiC.

Ok, he must have been joking.

October 23rd, he returned from a trip.  The subject was reopened the next day. “You weren’t kidding?  You’re not kidding? Right now, you’re not kidding me?  You’re kidding me. Right? What?  WHAT?”

He was not kidding me.

Wheels started turning.  Panic set in a little bit.  It was all a joke before!  Now it wasn’t!  Holy chickaree!  But aside from a few moments of {why are we doing this …??} it felt right.  Mom’s health has been steadily declining. I haven’t been happy with any of the earlier compromises or attempts at planning largely because of my worrying over her health and how she’d be able to handle any kind of event even though she wanted me to have one.  I personally didn’t want one.  Talking to my dad Tuesday night confirmed that she’s not having any sort of miraculous turnaround or even stabilizing.  There was no sense in holding out for her sake.

PiC being happy to have a much smaller one, even elopement style, was amazing.  He was always happy with the idea of small but not as small as I wanted it to be.  Also I was stuck between the all or nothing situation and wasn’t sure how to find my way out.  How do I invite some of the relatives I really want to share this with and not create a family rift?  And that alone would be too many people in combination with his family and friends.  So I sacrificed all of my family but three. Plus surrogate family – old friends so close I’ve been adopted into their clan.  My heart was appeased.

This compromise of around 20 was manageable – I was pretty sure I wouldn’t lose my composure.  We were sorely missing some very good friends but the days hurtled past and we couldn’t dwell on that.  Or anything.

Calls were made.  My most amazing long distance people booked their flights (even cross country) the second I confirmed we were trying to do it last Friday – before we even had plans.  We rushed to the SF courthouse for a license on Tuesday. He confirmed the courthouse appointment on Wednesday. We picked a restaurant that night and made the reservation on Thursday.  We confirmed most of our guests up until Friday morning. I was confirming and adding seats to our table as late as arriving at the restaurant for lunch.  This was not a normal wedding by any stretch of the imagination.

{to be continued}

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