July 1, 2013
PiC and I have a new tradition of sorts, a weekly dinner with one singlet friend, and a every couple of months dinner with another singlet* friend. Both are friends from years back, Ye Olden Youth Dayes. I don’t know if it’s weird that we never tried to seek out couple friends specifically now that we’re married but it’s just never been a priority. A friend’s a friend, whether single or doubled up. And I like that, paired or not, our friends feel comfortable with us, paired or not.
*Singlet denoting the fact that they may not actually be single, but they hang out with us sans partner for these regular shindigs.
We’ve gone out to explore weird little joints, relaxed with easy take out, and experimented with new recipes. The responsibility or privilege of deciding what to do next has been alternated like a hot potato, back and forth, but I always feel like since we’re feeding three in total, two of whom are a couple, isn’t it more fair if we paid 2 times out of 3 outings?
Sounds logical to me, but the singlets we dine with usually gives me an odd look when I venture forth with this theory. Granted, we rarely have terribly expensive meals, ranging from $5-20 per person depending on whether we’ve cooked, did take out or dined out, but it does still feel a bit unfair from my perspective.
:: Am I being overly aware or would you feel the same way? What if you were the single one? What if you were part of the couple?
January 15, 2013
Our food spending this year was astronomical.
That is, in some ways, surprising.
I eat a lot less than before. No stress eating either. You’d think that’d reduce food costs somewhat but it really didn’t matter: PiC more than makes up for my here again, gone again appetite. While I skip meals when flying solo, being with him means at least one meal will happen a day. And if I’m Chef, even if I’m not hungry, I’m still compelled to make a real meal. Maybe to avoid the judgment when it’s looking like the five KitKats and a mini Snickers bar style dinner but also because cooking’s therapeutic. Besides, for someone that loves every single thing I try my hand at, even the things I think suck? Who would mind?
Anyway, the point is: this year’s food budget? Mostly for two people? Was, in a word: dammmnnn.
We spent nearly the exact same amount on Groceries as on Eating Out. Groceries included frozen meals, convenience foods, snack foods, fresh food, canned food.
With so many 12-14 hour days, there was just no time or energy to do fancy or creative meals on the weekdays. Instead, we’d make up big meals on weekends, freeze portions for later, experimented with new “quick” recipes. Not all of the experiments were successful, not in my opinion, but I evidently married a man who’d eat anything I make. Super helpful when you have a complex about food waste!
The ugliest pot pie ever. But it sure was tasty…
When I cook, I do a fair amount from scratch. Lots revolves around chicken, the affordable protein we love. I make stew, pot pies, roast our own chickens, and once every several months, put up chicken broth. We try different grains in bulk, and avoid red meat*. All of this nets pretty minor savings, but I enjoy the cooking and we both like simple healthy meals at home. Bonus: It keeps my roasting skills polished. No horrific dried out turkey for Thanksgiving for us, my favorite meal of the year. Can you imagine ruining 20 lbs of turkey?
*I love steak but have an irrational fear of ruining it so I refuse to cook it. PiC does not love it like I do.
Double roasting. The honey cooks faster and make it look like it’s burnt but it’s just extra delicious, extra crispy skin. I’m loving the new roasting pan.
We had convenience and frozen foods as patches for no-cooking days, and traveling weekends when no cooking would happen. Pretty sure we also paid for groceries for other people on occasion. That’d be included in here. Couponing is an as-and-when activity instead of a weekly past-time.
Eating Out included: fine dining, treating friends to meals or snacks or anything food, special occasion meals, casual dining, fast food, drinks.
For day to day life, where we used to have a cap on the number of times we’d eat out or order in, this year has been rough enough that I finally just stopped fussing about sticking to an artificial number. Yes, it’s more expensive, yes, it’s not always the healthy choice and no, I’m not going to sweat it. Bottom line, we needed to eat, our working weekdays were far too long some days to do anything but come home and forage, and we could afford it.
A deconstructed kebab from Tuba Restaurant. We get to try new fancy-ish stuff in the city when visitors come to town!
Food, all kinds of it, both “high-end” and the remarkably pedestrian stuff we enjoy, was a spending priority for us, a clear trade of money for time or mental health, clocking in at about $6500.
It’ll be interesting to see this coming year’s spending. I have more opportunity to make time to cook on weeknights now, and if we eat out, it’s on weekends instead. Will it balance out or stay the same?
November 6, 2010
Kaiser offers a free flu vaccine, mobile flu clinics abound as the official cold and flu season [possibly as declared by the drug industry] draws close and PiC has been insisting with ever-increasing urgency that we can not get sick this year.
Despite being surrounded by modern day solutions *cough * needles *cough*, I’m steadfastly refusing for no other reason than … I hate shots.
And I don’t want to take yet more time out to go do something that’s going to cause even momentary discomfort for what I consider insignificant benefits. I’ve not seen any difference in my flu-getting rates between years when I did get the flu vaccine and years when I didn’t.
What I have seen is a huge difference between good years and bad years for me is primarily related to stress levels. My promise to PiC, then, is that I will be routinely be maintaining my physical health and sanity as a whole and not relying on the unsteady assistance of a flu vaccine and some shots of Emergen-C that he likes.
I won’t use them as crutches, in other words, since the belief that those alone will ward off the illness often takes the place of whole being wellness. Again, for me.
On November 1st, I took up Single Ma’s pushup challenge, modified to suit my capabilities. Over the next three weeks, I’m looking to increase from three sets of ten to five sets of ten with short breaks in between. They’re not the perfect, plank-version form I used to do, but they are good form for the kind I can do without causing injuries.
Between the pushups, which have to spaced out appropriately to avoid injury (big theme around here), we’ve taken up a series of stretches that are stretchy and strengthening. They’ve been incredible for pain reduction and management which makes more exercise possible.
In the kitchen, we’ve been doing a lot of home cooking with lots of ginger and garlic. The NIH may not make drastic claims about the healthful properties of both, but I’ve always enjoyed cooking with both and the side effect of cooking at home is far healthier, still-delicious recipes in moderate proportions. And honestly, I’ve always felt much improved after a cup of hot ginger-lemon tea, ginger-laden broth makes me feel just as warm and cozy inside.
What else shall I cook up in my game of Needle-Keep-Away? Are you pro flu-vaccine or will you be avoiding it as well? If so, what are you doing to protect yourself and your loved ones from the possible effects of your possibly bad decision? 😉
August 3, 2010
aka The Poor Hostess.
We had friends over the other weekend. By “we” I mean, PiC said they could come stay for the weekend and then took off on a previously planned trip. I kid, we both agreed it’d be great to see them but he had plans he couldn’t change on the same weekend so that left me with them. And I was fine with that, they’re great fun. But I realized that I’m not only a less than social creature, I’m not a great hostess.
I have this personal definition or image of a good host: you always have fresh linens on the bed, you have all kinds of goodies in the fridge, cook every meal and clear up afterwards letting your guests be entertained at their leisure. Kind of like the best dinner party slash sleepover ever, right?
But realistically, how on earth does a single person DO all that?
I definitely presided over the cooking/kitchen, there were certainly clean linens for the air mattress, fresh towels in a newly cleaned bathroom and I set it up for them but they helped me with the dishes, used their own towels, and fought with me over every bill.
2 to 1, I was bound to lose some of those fights. And let’s be honest, I’m not really comfortable with the predominantly Asian contact sport known as Give-Me-The-Bill-Or-I’ll-Throw-An-Elbow on a number of levels.
Looking at it from the other side, my cousins, for example, have hosted me (I’m nearly the youngest in that grouping) and they paid for everything, took care of everything, and chased me away from the dishes in the long ago past. That’s where I imprinted the idea of good hosting. Then again, when I’ve stayed with friends, I’ve done their dishes (and their roommates’), cleared up any messes, and chipped in for meals and household supplies that I used.
So is this a generational thing? Or am I taking advantage of free labor?
What do you consider good hosting habits?
May 11, 2010
Remember that 2 meals out per week thing? It’s becoming pretty challenging.
Those friends being in town didn’t help – we hit the quota, and would have gone over had it not been over a weekend. Twice on Sunday! I mean, really! But it was dim sum, and then the longest afternoon of shopping/errands stretched into a late night sushi dinner, and who was I to argue?
Still, that blew the dining out budget for the entire week so I had to veto Cinco de Mayo. Luckily, I had made a huge pot of homemade chicken soup which heated up wonderfully for Wednesday night dinner. Leftovers sufficed for Thursday night but we had to defrost something that night lest Friday night become another night out.
Having friends over is nice, but between that and the wonky schedule when social obligations come up or when I get home really late from work, my money management’s suffering. I’m starting to wonder if my arbitrary limit needs some evaluation. Should I be targeting a dollar amount per week instead of occurrences? Because I count Costco Dog Dinners as eating out – it’s prepared food.
If I were to be on a monthly dining out budget, I’d just have to be more prudent in a different way, and not limit the number of times I eat out so strictly. Is that better or will it just encourage me to feel like there’s more slack in the system? The grocery budget is already at a more than generous amount so I’m really wary of allowing more spending.
How do you keep your eating out to a minimum?
May 8, 2010
[Sadly, forgot to take pictures.]
A couple friends came to town last night and up until 6 pm, I wasn’t exactly sure if I was hosting a dinner or not. I got a call to expect dinner guests in an hour and a half, so then the scramble to pull together a good meal commenced.
The menu
Caprese salad
Broccoli, pasta, potato variation on Frugal Scholar’s Broccoli Garlic soup
Roasted chicken
Garlic and spinach
Red quinoa cooked in vegetable broth
Dessert: Pies in jars
That was the last of the pies in jars so it’s time to make up a new batch. (Musing: Did I buy any more flour? I did buy Granny Smiths but haven’t done a thing with them.)
I’ve got SO very much work to do this weekend that I’m all conflicted. I only see these friends a few times a year so obviously it’s important to spend time with them while they’re here. On the other hand, time is running out to get a number of freelance jobbies done and commitments must be honored. It’s just going to be another weekend of juggling!
Will someone out there have a restful Saturday for me?
July 12, 2008
Ho boy. If this is how tired I am after a night and afternoon of socializing, I’m going to be in trouble at the end of this month when I’m going to be on the road for 8 days. I’m an inveterate correspondent, and I don’t even want to look at emails I intended to respond to, today. That’s how tired I am. My brain is *done* with talking to people. Well, why are you posting? you ask? Because you’re not just any people, you’re MY people. 🙂
A girlfriend was back in town last night, and I haven’t seen her since the wedding in January when we certainly didn’t get a chance to really socialize at all. She invited everyone over to dinner, and five of us sat down to the most amazing home cooked dinner ever. When did we grow up and when did she learn to set a table like that??? It was in-cred-i-ble!!!
Picture this:
A platter of sliced beef, brisket style.
Baked beans in lightly spiced barbeque sauce.
Perfectly crisp green beans.
Fresh, crisp, sliced cucumbers, with a squeeze of lemon and dash of salt.
Ripe, red, succulent tomatoes.
Roasted baby potatoes.
Freshly baked, made from scratch, apple tart, with homemade bechamel sauce.
Heaven. Sheer gastronomic heaven. Everything was fresh, picked from the garden or from the farmer’s market. I made a total pig of myself, and doubled up on helpings of everything. And there were still leftovers! We had a red wine from Paso Robles, and an Australian white. Seriously, it’s one thing to pretend I’m an adult and drink wine with the grown-ups at work functions, but there’s something strikingly poignant about realizing that we were staging our very own dinner party. Nothing so formal and constrained as one with place cards and hostess gifts and such, but still the real deal. Conversation went ’round and ’round the table, taking everyone in turn, telling our stories, catching up on lives. There was a lot of love and a whole lot more laughter as everyone gave everyone else a hard time. It’s comforting to know that there are still relationships that are just easy after so many years.
Then, today, we had our little college reunion lunch. The college pal that I kept in touch with and I were kicking around ideas a few months ago and I proposed that we get the old gang together. It took a lot of coordination and calls, but we pulled it together and got six of our nine intended guests to show up for lunch today. Actually, that sounds like they weren’t interested, but I think everyone was happy that we’d put this together. I think it was quite a success: we laughed and talked for FOUR HOURS. We never even got around to catching up, we were just enjoying each others’ company and telling funny stories and picking on one another like the old days. It felt like hardly a day had passed since we graduated four years ago. Everyone’s changed a little. I could see it. We aren’t those gangly 20-year-olds anymore, and there was some complexity in their eyes, some sadness that wasn’t shared, and a little tentativeness that was only mostly covered up by banter. I think we’d all forgotten what it was like to have fun, just stupid, loud, dumb, funny, gratuitous fun. That might be why we were just happy to be together, and we’ll be doing it again.
If only I weren’t so busy for the next several weeks…. but I’m going to be out of town or otherwise engaged every weekend from next weekend through the end of August. Eeep! My schedule is actually pretty daunting, but I plan to milk it for all I can. Who knows how much longer I’ll be in the area or have a stable income from this job! Oh, don’t worry, I’m not trying to spend it all now or anything, I just want to reconnect to people and remember what it’s like to have a life. It’s going to be important to find that confidence again for interviews and finding a new job!
Anyway, I found myself unable to keep my eyes open after I finally got home after 4 pm. Eventually I caved to the inevitable and just napped. Mmmm…sleep….
