About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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March 29, 2019
With the return of the grey skies and drizzle, the depressive nibbles are back. Positive thinking has been good for me but it may not be enough to hold back that tide. I’m not feeling pulled under yet but I can feel myself hovering around the edges a bit so I’m being extra mindful.
1. Friday: Though so much of my body was hurting that it seemed pointless to apply heat patches to any single area to ameliorate the aches, I was able to fall asleep in under an hour. That never happens!
2. Saturday: We had a downright gorgeous day for our free event of the day: Holi! Hundreds of people descended on a nearby town for the Holi celebration and it was tons of fun. I’m nearly broken from it physically but my face hurts from smiling and the kids had so much fun they were tired enough to go home without protest after.
3. Saturday: I’m extra proud of our provisioning. I usually fail to bring something essential but this time we only ran short of water because JB spilled my water bottle. We had: sandwich quarters, ham, cheese and veggie rolls, cut veggies, nuts and cheese, goldfish crackers, string cheese, apple juice pouches, and Cuties. The three kids and two adults ate EVERYTHING. I think we did have a few little leftovers but it was minimal. I don’t have a lot of aspirations in life for how other people view me but being the parents / people who are adequately prepared with provisions on excursions like this is one of them. It makes me feel so rich even though it’s actually being frugal to pack enough food instead of standing in line for food truck food. We probably spent as much on the basic foodstuff as we would if we bought two big lunch plates BUT we also had a lot of extra snacks that meant we had a much more fun several hours than we would have if we’d hit 3 pm with hungry tired kids and no provisions.
4. Sunday: We hosted a long overdue set of friends for dinner. It took all my everything to prepare for the evening, and PiC did a completely fair share of the heavy lifting on all the side dishes and entertaining JB during the mandatory Mom-break periods when I literally could not move any longer.
5. Sunday: JB and I seem to be getting into a decent pattern of having Sunday mornings together. I’ve never dreaded them, I’ve tried to view them as bonding opportunities, but haven’t always been good at making it play out that way. We’re doing some cooking together, followed up by playing and art time, and spend a little bit of time on language skills. I managed not to run out of patience more than twice the entire morning and I’m proud about that.
6. Monday: This weekend was a massive case of overextension. So many regrets. Not for all the things we did but definitely for how badly I timed them to be in the same weekend. So much pain and fatigue. But the fatigue slowed me down enough to realize I should reschedule all our recurring transfers for savings so we aren’t inadvertently overdrawn again just because of bad timing.
7. Tuesday: I AM VICTORIOUS. I have been fighting with the rental prop’s HOA for 3 months and they’ve ignored my very polite and reasonable requests that they do their job. I finally escalated to their Regional Manager. In less than an hour, I got my answer. I’m still reporting the local office for intransigence.
8. Tuesday: Had a friend drop in for a very quick visit on her way home, it was so nice! Physically I still felt terrible but it was a nice uplift to my mood and the timing was perfect for my weird (right now) work schedule.
9. Wednesday: Hot damn. I had to wake JB up to get zir ready for school and for once, we didn’t have a single tantrum from wake up to departure. Minor miracle.
:: What were your good things this week?
March 28, 2019
No pasa nada. I’d like more relaxation but I’m not sure I could go this far.
A thread on airline creeps. Why are men so gross? Asking for dirty pictures of a kid??
Do you share your thoughts on money? I do and I don’t. I share my philosophies and strategies on bargain hunting and negotiation but I don’t share my overall philosophy on early retirement with anyone. At most with three other people.
We aren’t profligate spenders but we do spend way more than the average. WAY more. I don’t think we CAN call ourselves frugal.
Which spouse makes more? I used to compete with PiC head to head but I’ve fallen way behind in these past couple of years and it bothers me a bit.
France was off my travel list when my dietary restrictions came into play because how could I go and not absorb all the carbs they had to offer?? But spotting Space Invaders is a really fun reason to go.
Kristine is going into farming. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, I love when other people share how they come to their own realizations.
Mom/parent guilt is strong. PiC gets this and sometimes I have to put my foot down and insist HE IS going to go out on Sunday morning with his friends to do their thing, period, no questions asked. I don’t take those specific breaks myself because I don’t feel the need – I get my social time throughout the week, online, and that fills my bucket.
Golden Girls: I like the idea of choosing my own living companions later in life with an eye to aging in place and being prepared to have a live in caretaker and so on. It appeals to the planner in me.
Angela coming off a 2 year clothing ban. Living in the foggy Bay Area means I’m in a new sweatshirt that’s actually warm and loungepants that PiC bought for me three years ago 4 out of 5 days a week, and my latest clothing purchases revolve almost entirely around comfort (stretchy yoga pants). I’m still working through my old work layers that aren’t presentable anymore but still have plenty of wear in them. I picked up a couple fancy pieces last December and they both need hemming, I need to find my way to the tailor. What’s your clothing philosophy these days?
March 27, 2019
This winter (December through March) was a lot less reading and lot more doing things but that wasn’t correlated – I don’t have time to read during the day!
It was just a coincidence that I ran short on reading material, needed more sleep, and had resolved to try to do one social thing per month all around the same time.
What I read
Tanja Hester, Work Optional – a fantastic book on the ideas and math behind early retirement, not just how fun it is.
Ilona Andrews, Magic Shifts (Kate Daniels Series, Book 8)
Magic Binds (Kate Daniels Series, Book 9)
Iron and Magic (The Iron Covenant, Book 1)
Magic Triumphs (Kate Daniels Series, Book 10)
Mercedes Lackey, From a High Tower (Elemental Masters Series, Book 11)
Anne McCaffrey, Catalyst, Barque Cats Series, Book 1
Catacombs, Barque Cats Series, Book 2
Seanan McGuire, Chaos Choreography
A lot of free short stories from the Incryptid world. I love the Incryptid series.
John Scalzi, Head On: A Novel of the Near Future. I’ve really enjoyed the Lock In series.
Samantha Shannon, The Bone Season
J.K. Rowling, John Tiffany, Jack Thorne, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child – Parts One and Two
I’m unwilling to spend any more money on Rowling’s franchise, she’s become deeply problematic over the years and probably always has been, but a friend lent me their copy of the book and I was curious. NOW I understand why another friend likes Scorpius.
Patricia Briggs. I’m well into this series mostly because of momentum and availability. Our library has a lot of the ebooks and hasn’t gotten a lot of the books I do want. But the social structure in her world is squicky.
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March 25, 2019
New cards since March 2018
Quick notes:
- I had my sights set on some kind of an international trip next year, possibly Japan, but that will only happen if a very close friend can dogsit because Seamus is showing his age this year and it’s tugging our heartstrings. Otherwise we’d like to stay close to home with him.
- For the purposes of figuring out whether we’ve wasted money on a card or not, I’m estimating the total value of our miles or points for each card to make sure that we are earning at least our minimum profit per churned card but we won’t know the true value until we actually redeem them.
- We haven’t been respecting the “no annual fee” rule for the past several cards as long as the miles or points bonuses were at least worth twice as much as the annual fee, preferably 3-4x as much.
- We ALWAYS pay the card balances in full. No exceptions.
- We time our churning activity with necessary spending. We never manufacture unnecessary spending for a card bonus. I keep a spreadsheet to track expected large expenses for this and generally plot out a bevy of expenses with pen and paper before I commit to a new card.
Current totals
AlaskaAir (miles valued at 1.3 cents): 204,001.
Chase Ultimate rewards: 308,930
Starpoints: 161,620
Citi Premier Thank You, his
Cost: $0
Bonus: 50,000 points (value $500)
Profit: $500
Status: Active, cancel before June 1 2019
Worth it? Yes, this was pure profit.
Chase Sapphire Reserve, hers
I took care of the travel credit in December, ahead of schedule I thought, BUT they didn’t credit it properly so it was just a “$300 purchase.” I followed up on that once early in January and was told that I had to call back after my statement closed. Then I called at the end of January, and the request had to be escalated to marketing, which should have been done the first time I called. What a pain. My annual fee was due to hit on February 1st but this solidified my intent to cancel once I get that fixed. What kind of lazy customer service makes you call twice when they could have submitted the request in the first call?
Alaska Air, his second of 2018
Cost: $75
Bonus: 30,000 miles (value $390) + 1406 miles (value $18)
Free Companion + taxes fare offer good 2019: $479
Profit: $812
Status: Active, cancel before January 1, 2019
Worth it? Yes.
Alaska Air, his first of 2019
Cost: $75
Bonus: 30,000 miles (value $390) + $100 statement credit after first $1000 spend in 90 days
Free Companion + taxes fare offer good until 2020
Free checked bags: $?
Profit: TBD, $415 so far
Status: Active, cancel before January 1, 2019
Worth it? The extra statement credit made this a no cost to us churn, we’ll have to see what the total profit is.
***
Keepers
We’re keeping our Chase Sapphire Reserve for one more year because I blew the timing of the cancellation.
We still have our Starwood AMEX (RIP) because I absolutely love the American Express customer service but I have no love for what the Bonvoy program brings. I need to make a decision on this.
We still have our Costco Citi card which pays for itself in the Executive Rewards but sometimes only just.
Cards to be cancelled
We will bid farewell to at least one of the Alaska Air cards before the year is up and gets charged another annual fee.
The Citi Premier we’ll keep for a few more months in case it comes in useful but it’s not at the top of my use-list.
:: What cards are you using and/or keeping at this time?
March 22, 2019
1. Saturday: Cal Academy day with friends!
2. Saturday: Splurged on a couple of donuts and cheap tennis balls for the dogs. Dogs were so pleased they cracked the new balls in half within 3 minutes of play. Dog joy!
3. Saturday: We were all up very early and visited our favorite hairdresser at the cheap chain nearby. They dote in JB and are so lovely to talk to.
4. Sunday: I got 9 hours of sleep!!!
5. Sunday: I got two loads of laundry done and put away, and…
6. Sunday: we had gorgeous clear skies and warm sun so the kids and I went out on the drive where I concocted a foul smelling mess of weedkiller that is relatively safe to use around kids and dogs so long as they refrain from licking it up and it worked! A pity I still need to dig up the now browned and dead weeds but they’re dead!
7. Monday: A harrowing day, physically and emotionally, made better by PiC thoughtfully leaving a reasonable substitute for a lawn chair out for me. Dogs and I camped in the yard soaking up sun for an hour while I squinted at my screen working and baking the “I’m so behind” anxiety down to a dull roar.
8. Tuesday: Painsomnia meant I was awake until past 2 am (boo) but then I remembered to submit a request for a third T-Mobile Rover promo code in time for the redemption deadline so small insomniac favors?? I’m also so grateful for thoughtful readers who are willing to share coupons and promotions they don’t need.
9. Wednesday: Our sunny day streak is over! Grey skies and rain have moved in but as compensation, I was able to wake JB from a full sleep and get zir ready and out the door before 8 am without any tantrums! One minor put-out episode but it was headed off quickly. THANK YOU UNIVERSE.
:: How was your week?
March 21, 2019
It’s about time people understood we need to talk to BOYS about rape. Stop telling girls and women to dress differently or hide themselves, teach boys to seek consent and stop raping.
Laurie’s right. It’s not all roses all the time. I went through tons of uncomfortable times and some downright miserable times in the workplace and it was all in service of building a better life and understanding what that better life looked like. I wouldn’t have known this 15 years ago without that slog but our better life includes less work and more family time, less nonsensical social obligations and more deep connections to the people who value what we value.
Emily Guy Birkin: It’s Time to Share The Burden of Emotional Labor
Facial recognition, unregulated. Why do people have to ruin everything.
76K is fighting through a tough time with work.
Dr. Tressie McMillan Cottom: Raising Really Good Hell for People Who Cannot. I will read anything by Dr. McMillan Cottom. It may not be comfortable but it will be intelligent and it will likely have a whole lot of truth. Most of all I do think she sounds like herself in her writing, as much as I can tell who herself is, and I admire that a lot in a writer.
I love this shoelacing
March 18, 2019
Going gluten free was WAY easier than this latest iteration of eating of cutting out sugar and way down on carbs. We searched out a few GF substitutes for my usual favorites and called it a day.
Cutting out sugar and drastically reducing carbs is a lot harder.
I started this journey last year and after six weeks of experimenting with a gluten free diet, I wasn’t getting concrete results. If gluten was my problem, cutting it out should have definitively decreased pain. Instead, it seemed, mmm, iffy. I sort of hurt less, but it was really hard to quantify. When my friend separately suggested I give her no-sugar thing a try, I figured it was worth a try too because really, why not? It couldn’t hurt. Besides, as my doctor said: whatever the reason, reducing processed sugars is always a good thing.
We started with increasing vegetable intake on the theory that would be better than starting by taking all the tasty foods away and languishing with boiled eggs and cheese left on the menu. Not that I’d ever turn my nose up at cheese, I love it, I could eat it at every meal. (I probably shouldn’t.)
As we made the changeover, the results were almost immediate. I had my first low-pain day in years. Then another. I literally had trouble identifying what I felt was different because it was an absence of teeth-clenching pain. (more…)