About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
One Frugal Girl and I remain anonymous for many similar reasons.
This is a thoroughly depressing article because I live in California and we’re close enough to the coast that we may have to worry about this soon, but it’s an important read. Also the LA Times made a game: Can you save your town? This will be as successful as my attempts at Oregon Trail, I’m sure.
What Does Division of Labor Look Like In Your Household? How feminist are we really? I anticipate feeling like this a bit when JB starts kindergarten. I don’t know WHY because PiC frequently takes the lead on child-education meetings: he calls into the parent-teacher meetings, he makes time to attend the voluntary events, he does more than his fair share of parent-teacher facetime. There’s no reason for me to think that he wouldn’t do the same for elementary school. But I suspect that I’m going to still feel responsible/unwarranted guilt just because that’s how I’m geared and because elementary school will be closer to me than daycare is to him.
LOOK at that baby go!
🔴🇺🇸🇫🇷 bonne soirée à toutes et tous 😂😂😂il est fort le gamin 👶 Ninja Warrior 🤗 Vas-y bébé vas-y 🤗💃♥️💃♥️💃♥️💃 pic.twitter.com/1209K7nY5C
— Francis✝️🔯 🇫🇷🇮🇱🇺🇸🇧🇷🇮🇹 (@ffrancepack) July 9, 2019
Dividend income. We received $268 in dividends this month. Our year to date net dividends are $1,896.42. I currently reinvest all our dividends into new stocks / funds.
I’ve removed “occasional sales on Poshmark” from our income summary since I’ve neither listed new items or made a sale in months. I’ve got a stack of clothes that should be listed but I just don’t have the time right now.
This is my weekly list of things that were good this week, even if they weren’t all unadulteratedly good things. Please do share your good things in the comments!
1. Friday. Despite being on Day 6 of excruciating pain, I kept my promise to drop JB off at school and pick zir up.
2. Saturday. A dear friend of over 20 years came for dinner. So good to see old friends.
3. Saturday. We started a new session of swim lessons at the Y this month and while JB initially balked at joining the lesson, a combination of forcing zir to come with me and supportive hugging got
4. Sunday. Everyone got to sleep in until almost 8! Whooo! JB even asked permission the night before to sleep late which was, to me, a guarantee of a 6 am wake up, but no, we all got to lay in until a leisurely 7:43 am.
5. Monday. It finally occurred to me that I don’t have to JUST suck it up and ride out the pain waves, I could contact my massage therapist for an extra session to break the cycle. Unfortunately she was sick but at least it occurred to me this time! I usually just suffer and force myself to keep going.
6. Monday. My Primary.com summer sale order arrived early and everything was surprisingly great! I expected to be disappointed in at least one or two items, this is normal with any new retailer, but my order was all good. The colors are as vibrant as advertised and the quality feels solid. Their summer moving sale is still through the weekend, so if you use this referral code to get 25% off and free shipping on top of their summer prices, the prices are excellent! The referral discount is better than their first time buyer discount (15% 0r 20%). I only got the 20% off because I don’t know any other Primary.com buyers and I was happy with the total price paid.
7. Tuesday. Day 11 of excruciating pain was not quite so excruciating! I had other pain problems BUT they were different and practically tolerable. There’s a chance of recovering before the 4th and not spending it curled up on the couch breathing shallowly after all!
8. Wednesday. The day before a holiday or weekend is always tough for me – I get a combination of senioritis and the driving need to clear ALL the work from my plate before I’m off. A mid week holiday like this year’s Independence Day just doubles up on that! But since I kept forgetting that it was the day before a holiday, I just worked like usual and avoided most of the pent up anxiety. Win?
9. Thursday. I still had to work today which was a bummer but really enjoyed the relative quiet where I didn’t have to answer anyone’s questions and could just do my thing. Bonus, I was still able to take some of the day off to go to the park with everyone, have lunch, and rest up a bit. This is the most relaxation I’ve had in a while.
These stats made me laugh because neither of us have this much luxury of down time DAILY. But I don’t consider the hour(s) I spend reading at night down time since it’s really “I am trying to fall asleep” time: “In 2018, the average working woman spent three hours 45 minutes each day relaxing or exercising, down from the previous year. Working mothers spent about 15 minutes less on such activities.
By contrast, working men allocated around four hours 40 minutes to leisure and sports, while fathers enjoyed about four hours downtime each day.“
Piyali Bhattacharya. Good Girls Marry Doctors. I could not put this book down. It resonated so strongly with my ingrained sense of duty and family culture (though we aren’t South Asian), the silencing of women even while expecting us to be strong enough to bear every burden, the expiration date at age 25, the arranged marriage set-ups, the expectations that you will always prioritize your parents.
Nicola Yoon. Everything Everything. Very well written but the twist at the end reminded me of the real life story of a similar situation which is incredibly sad.
The Sun is Also a Star. Also very well written. The twist at the end made me mad it was the end because I want mooooreeee.
1. Friday: I dragged my reluctant brain to work, and pummeled it into cooperating but I also took a couple of cleaning my office breaks when the trudge was too difficult. While I didn’t get enough work done, it WAS really satisfying to have gotten that much cleaning done! It did open up new places for the dogs to lose the Kong, though, whoops.
2. Saturday: I had been trying to reach an equilibrium with my feelings towards Dad, looking for a neutral ground for my own peace, for the past few months. The process is both acknowledging the harm he’s caused AND that there were good things in my past as well. It felt like a healthy way to move forward no matter what kind of relationship we end up having (or not).
Then he popped up again on my radar. We’re estranged because of his pathological lying. So what does he do? He used someone I care about and trust to manipulate me into lying for his benefit. He knows it could carry legal consequences for me, but he doesn’t care. Ok. Yeah. So, no personal growth then? I am looking at this as confirmation that he still doesn’t belong in our lives.
3. Sunday: We had to meet some new people for brunch (friends of family) and the male half of the couple was a bombastic sexist. What a waste of a Sunday brunch! But PiC and I agreed – at least we don’t have to hang out with them again. It seems like all the new LOCAL people we meet aren’t people we want to meet again, but all the people we enjoy are far away. It’s a shame.
4. Monday: My pain spiked to about an 11 today. That roughly means: my bones are on fire and if I breathe shallowly, I won’t throw up from the pain nausea. JB was oddly solicitous when ze came home, suggesting that I choose the chair with the blanket because it’d be more comfortable and offering to entertain me. We were solo this evening and I’m grateful that ze mostly cooperated throughout playing, dinner, and bath and bed routine.
8. Tuesday: Really grasping for the good today. Pain is sky-high and I am grateful for our recliner we spent the big bucks on before JB was born. The cushion supports my broken body adequately so I can make it through a work day without passing out from pain.
9. Wednesday: With LOTS of sitting down breaks, I was able to attend an event at JB’s daycare. It was rough but I didn’t pass out at the end of the day, I slept naturally, so we’re calling this a win.
10. Thursday: You know what’s fun? Spraining your ankle IN YOUR SLEEP. This is really not my week. But I’m grateful it was a minor sprain, the kind that wears off if I can hobble around all day, exhausting though THAT is.
Primary.com is having a summer sale. If you use this referral code to get 25% off and free shipping on top of their summer prices, the prices are excellent! The referral discount is better than their first time buyer discount (15 0r 20%). I just ordered nibling Christmas gifts.
I have adored Sir Terry Pratchett‘s books since high school, and I’m sad I never got a chance to meet him at a convention.
Tenacious J’s contemplating a midlife crisis. I’m pretty ragey these days too but it’s a combination of professional stress, personal exhaustion, and what our country is doing. It makes sense.
I did not know that Murderinos were a thing and it’s a creepy thing to be forced to hear at work if you’re not into it.
This quote made me click through to read the article I assumed I’d disagree with: “Poverty is not much of a teacher. There’s not much to learn; it’s all necessity. And at the rich end, it’s hard to create the kind of artificial scarcity that you need to make decisions seem as though they mean anything.”
In my experience, dealing with necessity was a learning experience and some people never learn because they never have to. The stakes were never high enough that they needed to make the right choice every single time, so they never learned to analyze the choices in front of them. They always had a safety net so it was not just ok to flounder and make mistakes but to never really get your feet under you. Sometimes that’s totally fine. Sometimes, they reach a tough point of their lives later on and don’t know if they have the strength to make it through because they’ve never been tested. Heck, my sibling sure never learned any of those lessons but it mattered in his case because we had no safety net. Poverty isn’t THE way to learn it but I don’t know how to teach the lessons I learned without inflicting the trauma of impoverishment and living in brokenness, worrying about every penny, on JB.
But as to the article itself, I do agree that it’s gotta be tough to grow up at either end of the spectrum. People scoff when I say I pity the Royal Kids or even Beyonce’s kids a bit – they’re growing up uber wealthy sure, but that’s not wealth they earned and they’re growing up in the limelight they didn’t ask for or choose, and under expectations of either Royal composure or Massive Talent and Drive and that has got to be tough. The money’s nice but I would never ever trade my chosen existence for that kind of life where privacy isn’t the default.
Herman the Worm
This came up on random shuffle when we were listening to kids songs on YouTube, we were bemused to discover that JB knew all the hand movements.
On Money
