About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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September 23, 2015
Optimistically I hatched an almost plan to celebrate the whole month, like some of my friends who love life do. Just an “almost plan”, because that thought was as far as I got. In part to make up for my lack of enthusiasm in previous years, and in part to add to my new habit of doing small good money things each day.
It’s been half a decade since I felt comfortable with my birthday and it was nothing to do with age. For a few years, in my 20s, it was actually even fun. I shared the week with a dearly departed uncle. Then one year, he fell ill. It seemed like a small thing, until it wasn’t. I hoped, and hoped, and hoped that we’d have a miracle. But we didn’t. Then our birthweek became the week of losing him. And it’s just never felt right since.
Even when I’m not fully cognizant of the reason, a malaise sets in around 2-3 weeks before the actual day and I spend that whole time trying to convince PiC to cancel everything, when “everything” is hardly any more taxing than having dinner because I can’t think of my birthday with joy without being reminded of our joke that I was “4 days older than Uncle”, and it feels like my breath is sucked away as I remember he’s gone and it’s not fair.
We weren’t close close, not talk on the phone every other day and finish each other’s sentence close. But we were kindred spirits. I admired and respected the hell out of him and he recognized me as one of his sort, seeking my back-up in faux-arguments and treating me with an easy warm fondness unique to him. Above all, he was a good man who’d made good for his family and I wanted nothing more than to match his example.
That’s my whole trouble with anniversaries and special dates. The big ones tend to remind me of those I’ve lost, more than anything, and I haven’t been great at turning that around.
But each year I try again. We’re only given so much time and I’m trying not to waste what we have by forgetting to live while mourning, grieving rather than remembering.
There’s a lot more I want to do and each birthday is a reminder to get off my duff and do it.
I don’t usually ask for anything for my birthday but this year I will: would you share a fond memory or a fun thing you’re doing?
September 21, 2015
and featuring a Bonus Thought: Sometimes you don’t!
A friend of mine shared a listsicle signature line which made me chuckle. It’s supposed to be sarcastic reasons you don’t need life insurance because haha of course you do. It just makes a strong case for calling it When You Die Insurance because calling it LIFE insurance seems to confuse everyone, including the people who sell it.
Instead of being that know it all who tells someone their signature line sucks, I decided to be an adult and just blog about it. ;D
Six reasons you don’t need life (When You Die) insurance:
(According to the agent)
1. You are never going to die.
Ha ha ha … see that’s funny because it’s insurance for when you die. So you don’t need it if you’re not going to die! Get it?
The implication is probably that you’re going to keep working for the rest of eternity. But if you do die, I mean when you die, you don’t get to take this money with you. It stays here. Just sayin’.
2. You are going to inherit a fortune.
Inheriting a fortune is awesome and if you don’t blow it all, yes, that could replace your When You Die insurance. Let’s keep in mind this is not a good life financing plan because someone still has to die first and that’s just suspect as all get out.
3. You are going to win the lottery.
That’d also be awesome. If you win and don’t blow it all in a year, it’s possible this could be your When You Die insurance.
4. Your children are going to support you.
In death? Is this for zombies? Is this undead insurance for zombies? Hint: Life insurance isn’t for your daily expenses.
5. You are never going to retire.
Does an insurance for When You Die help with retirement? Again, if you have to be dead to collect, it’s not much good to you when you’re alive, you’re working or not. Life tip: Life insurance isn’t your retirement savings!
6. The government will take care of you.
Again, in death? What care do you need after you’re dead and buried / cremated / scattered at sea?
REAL reasons you need life insurance:
- You have minor or elderly dependents who would struggle with one-time or ongoing expenses upon your death, or pets who would need a home and/or require care.
- You have debt that would fall to your survivors to pay without your income: a cosigned mortgage, cosigned student loans, etc.
- You intended to support someone’s major life change like buying a home or though college, whether it’s your own child, that of your spouse’s, or even another relative.
- And your savings won’t cover any or all of the above options that apply to you.
Final answer: When You Die insurance is to cover your debt obligations and to help the living that you left behind, if they need it and you don’t have enough assets saved to cover it.
Therefore, another truth: You may not need life insurance!
If you’re single, have zero dependents whether of the 2 or 4-legged variety, no debt, and don’t intend to pick up any of these things ever? Or you’re married, no dependents, no debt, and the surviving spouse has a good career? Or you have any of those obligations but you have a LOT of savings? Then you don’t need life insurance! Imagine that. Leigh and Linda can attest to that.
At a certain point, if we grow our assets appropriately, we won’t need our life insurance to cover our debt and support LB and Seamus in the event that we both disappear from their lives and deprive them of our incomes. That’s all it is: a guaranteed income replacement for a limited period of time.
But your local life insurance agent would rather you didn’t think that.
September 18, 2015
If you’d asked me, I would not have believed that we’d unload any of the stuff clogging up our closets and nooks and crannies. It’s perfectly good stuff but none of it is that high-end, high-value stuff that Personal Finance for Beginners exhort you to sell to make some Quick Cash!
This is one money-related bet I would have lost.
All of this sold like it was in high demand:
- Miscellaneous bike gear
- Random auto parts
- Used shoes
- My old rainboots that never quite fit
- My old but in near-new condition sports watch (btw, this was a surprise sale. Maybe a general rule should be to TELL your spouse before you sell stuff out from under them!)
- Still in the box, old navigation system. Ah useless technology gifts.
PiC is the Craigslister in the family. I just collect the proceeds, log them into Mint, for which he calls me Judy Jetson (Please tell me you remember The Jetsons
). Harumph! Oh, and also I provide the free service of fretting uselessly while he’s out, every time, as if all Craigslist buyers are serial killers on the hunt for their next hit.
… What? That’s not normal?
ANYWAY. He once walked me through some of his tips and tricks. I’ve never used them because this is his gig and he’s great at it but it’s good stuff nonetheless.
Writing your ad
- Be very clear in your description of the Thing and Thing’s condition. Don’t assume people have seen the Thing before or that they can view the pictures easily.
- Include some pictures taken in good light.
- Include dimensions or sizing if that’s relevant or useful. It’s always useful for furniture items. Not so much for books.
- If you’re open to offers, say so. If the price is firm, say so. Don’t waste your time with hagglers if you’re not willing to move on price and don’t lose opportunities to unload the Thing if you’re willing to accept an offer.
- Always refresh expired ads, a lot of selling is about the timing. Buyers for Thing may pop up 4 weeks after you list the first time, or in one case, 11 months.
- Always state in the ad: Thing is available if this ad is still posted. Remove ad immediately after a confirmed sale.
Making the sale
- We ignore all stupid inquiries: “Is it still available?” for one. “Does the $20 printer come with ink cartridges?” for another. Historically, those inquiries never bear fruit.
- CL buyers in our area are notoriously flaky. Never promise to hold an item for anyone. It’s always first come, first serve, unless it’s a very big ticket item and you’ve already met, haggled and agreed on a price.
- Safety, safety, safety! Please meet in a public place. Don’t do it in the dark if you can avoid that. The one time PiC did a sale after sundown I insisted on dragging my super-pregnant self along to protect him because that made sense.
- If it requires two people to lift and move, make sure you know if your buyer is going to handle that themselves (some bring a friend), or if they expect you to lend a hand (some will ask).
As regular Craigslist buyers ourselves, we do our best to be a positive part of the ecosystem by only making inquiries when we’re serious, paying in cash (duh!), arranging our own pickup, and of course, if the price isn’t firm, we do haggle! Obviously.
It really can be as easy as posting an ad, fielding calls or emails, and then pocketing some hard cash for things you don’t use anymore! Or won’t use, ever. As always, I record our sales in our tracker here so y’all know, it’s possible to make real money even if you have really weird old stuff.
September 16, 2015
Inchworm is trying so hard to crawl but hates it so much. Ze wants to walk and walk NOW. One day, ze learned to hold out hir arms to us and hasn’t stopped since. We won’t pick hir up on demand every time, though, we don’t walk hir muscles to atrophy!
Often you can’t walk past without hir grabbing your ankle with both arms in order to use you as leverage. Hir balance still sucks though, so there have been more than a few faceplant scenarios followed up by earsplitting shrieks of pain. Nothing serious, just actual pain versus the usual surprise cry.
***
This child has zero sense of self preservation. Ze will launch out of PiC’s arms, flip off the edge of the bed like a flying squirrel without flight capabilities, throw head and arms backwards into a backbend whether on the ground or on someone’s lap with no regard for the likelihood of a concussion or a broken head.
***
We’re doing all kinds of solid and pureed foods so “hack it up, clear your throat” has become a daily part of our vocabulary.
***
I don’t have time to read to LB as often as I’d like so I make it a point to talk hir through anything I’m doing whether it’s prepping hir next meal or explaining my work. Lots of history-of, why-we-do-things-this-way, it’s-important-because conversations. Ze thinks the formal stuff is the funniest.
***
Ze has lint contraband. I found it in hir leg folds in the first weeks of baths. After a few weeks of confiscation they were mysteriously clean and then I found it’d shifted to hir knees, then later still, in hir armpits. The latest stash zone is under the chin in the neck.
***
Sleep has always been weird. We’d have (3) 30-minute nap days and those were terrible. We’d have (2) mega long nap days and they were wonderful (but confusing. what did we do right?).
Ze has never slept through the night more than 2 nights in a row except for during SDCC. And mostly never sleeps through the night. We’d go from getting 8 straight hours to only 4 and 3, or 6 and 2. Or some weird combination in such a way as to guarantee we’d both be zombies.
There are days ze gets a 3rd nap just because the two were so stinking short ze would wake up still tired.
Basically our whole life is one giant sleep regression. Which, I guess, is good because we basically never get used to the good life of sleeping through? We’ve stopped worrying, fussing, or trying that hard to influence the sleep. We just stick to a routine for bedtime, and time the naps for a sleepy baby as best we can.
***
It shouldn’t, but this Washington Post article saying that parenthood is worse than any other life event including the death of a partner elicited a rueful chuckle. That could still come to pass, it was one of my terrors about becoming a parent, and I have seen where some experiences were hard enough that the parents declared No More after the first. I think PiC is actually in that camp after being so very worried about me during labor. And also we had a tough pregnancy. It’s hard to imagine how we could do that again but this time with a toddler running around needing attention too, especially as we still haven’t found good, reliable help.
***
*snorgle snargle* Now that ze has figured out crawling, climbing on things, and grabbing in a semi-intentional, sorta-accurate fashion, we’re all in trouble. Ze has a special Attack Face, a combination of a grin and a scrunched brow, maw stretched wide open, as ze prepares to destroy electronics in reach so I know to defend against baby drool within five seconds of The Face.
LB’s tweets
I hear paper tearing. I look up to see LB on hir back, huge chunk of newspaper in left hand, strip in right hand, huge sheet in mouth.
PiC: “I think ze might have eaten some newspaper. That didn’t taste good, did it?” LB shakes hir head really hard, no. Then jabs PiC in the eye.
LB is mild to moderate good at self directed play. Ze is a Master at grabbing everything ze isn’t allowed to.
Seamus is a little pissed. LB tried to snake his hedgie but he’s not allowed to steal Grey Wind.
Woke up to LB chirping to Seamus and playing w/Elly, hir crib companion. Possibly ze was plotting to take over the world.
LB vs the world
Stop screeching, I’m changing your diaper. This is a feature, not a bug.
Please don’t lick your brother.
Please stop eating the ground. And the recyclables. Ok fine, chew on your foot. Enjoy the flexibility.
How did you get fur up your nose?
We love …. cheap entertainment!
These interlocking rings. I’ve strung them across hir chair, down from dresser drawer handles, on hir stroller, anywhere I need hir to stay put for a little while so I can do things. Ze loves to chew on them, pull them apart, and just wave them around. Also good for securing toys into the stroller when ze loses interest and drops it.
Earlier…
Month 6: Becoming human
Month 5: Toes
Month 4: Velociraptor Claws
Month 3: Growth Spurts
Month 2: Hates sleep
Month 1: Banshee
September 14, 2015
Linda made a good point about how some landlords, slumlords, use their rental properties to generate tax losses to offset their gains in other areas of their net worth.
Call me foolish but I’m not ok with that idea. Even if I’m going to have to pay more in taxes each year because I’m showing a profit on paper, I’d rather find some other way to even out that tax bill than to let my property where actual humans live go to shambles. I’ve been on the other end of that stick and it sucks.
Even though some of the rundown at the other house is due to Dad’s inability to keep up with all the house maintenance, a lot of it is long term stuff that the owner of the property should be tending.
Chatting to a long time homeowner friend, she’d expect most of the wear and tear to be paid for by the homeowner / LL: carpet, paint, drapery. That was an interesting thought. While I’m willing to budget for it, as a renter, we never had a refresh or cleaning of anything of these things that we didn’t pay for under normal wear and tear. We’re not going to vacuum for the renter but we will do a carpet cleaning between renters and replace it if need be in say, 20 years? That’s the normal life span of good carpet, I think.
I provide and maintain all the major appliances, which isn’t actually a normal thing in my experience renting in California, but it is for the rental area. Would you also expect that other stuff as well?
My current plan is to save all the income from at least the first five years to pay for expected major repairs and unexpected anything else that’s not covered by the warranty.
September 11, 2015
or in ye olde Fatwallet lingoe: App-o-Rama! The last time we did this was for a handful of cards at once, in 2013, before our wedding.
We just finished the minimum spend ($3000 in 3 months) for a United mileage card earning a 50K mile bonus but we need at least another 40K miles to book flights for the family so I’ve lined up a second United mileage card with another 50K mile bonus. It’s taking forever to reach us. *taps foot impatiently*
I’ve also decided to make this an actual routine rather than taking it as our trips are dreamed up. My nerves can’t take wondering if we’ll hit the right number of award points or miles in time to book before the awards rooms or flights run out.
Our regular large expenses that can be charged on a card are mapped out in a spreadsheet so that we can line up our cards for churning against our regular, required purchases so we don’t find ourselves “needing” to spend oohhh say $500 just to hit the bonus and find ourselves the proud and chagrined owners of, I don’t know, some ridiculous thing we wanted. Right, that’s not likely but one can get caught up in the chase for awards.
I’d love it if we could charge our property taxes but I’m pretty sure the city or county still charges some silly non-insignificant percentage if you pay by credit card and that narrows our profit margin on the bonus too much to be worth it.
Instead, we have regular auto, property, and life insurance policies that come due in the fall and the spring. In fact, one just came in the mail! Hello, bill. Also food. We eat a lot of food. Food will go a long way to meeting our quota.
Leigh & Mrs. Crackin’ raised excellent points in the comments: look for cards that waive the annual fee for the first year and don’t pay with CC over cash unless the rewards are overwhelmingly profitable.
September 9, 2015
Seeing our net worth climb a little, even after a few months of reduced income, I got really optimistic about possibly hitting some of our goals, like a milestone net worth and maybe being able to target retirement in oh, say, 7 years? I totally pulled that out of thin air, because why not?
This here spreadsheet will tell you why not!
I don’t like what Version 1 tells me, maybe I should go to Version 2!
I played around with J.Money’s early retirement spreadsheet, the simple one, because I just wanted a quick snapshot without messing around with all the detail of version 2.
There’s a lot to be said for reducing your annual expenses. There’s more to be said for putting away more money, though, as I notice reducing our annual expenses by 10,000/year didn’t produce any drop in retirement age, whereas increasing our investments by $5,000/year dropped it by a year.
The assumptions
Income produced: Originally J used an 8% return rate, while I’d rather be more conservative and assume a 7% return.
Annual expenses: If you’re thinking “you need HOW much per year???” Yes, our expenses are high. We pay for the living expenses of 4 adults, 1 child, 1 Seamus, save cash (saving to spend) and save for retirement. Should I drop the expected expenses? I say no. Because even if our own personal expenses drop any substantial amount, we have huge variables: raising LB, or Dad’s eventual failing health, my crappy health. These could cause huge spikes in expenses even should we drop them a good amount. Heck, they could put us over the $90K mark, who knows!
Annual investments: I’m committing us to maxing out a 401(k) and an IRA every year but now that I look at the numbers, I want to add an IRA for PiC too.
Age now: I took an average of our ages. Maybe not the best idea, maybe I should just take one age and go with that.
This doesn’t take into account our rental property but since that income isn’t disposable income yet, that’s fine.
Looks to me like I’m going to have to get creative (or strike it rich through a solid business plan) to hit all our spending and saving and early retirement goals.
ER’s a fantasy in the world I came from where even retirement isn’t certain but it’s a luxury I’m happy to aim for. While I enjoy working, my health is always kicking me in the shins. I want to be around for LB for a long time and am finally conceding that my health improves when less stress and less work sucks up the lion’s share of my energy. So why not make that a goal?