About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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July 1, 2010
Win-Win-WIN.
I’m not the wedding type, I’ve said that time and again. But I’m spitting mad and am willing to have a wedding just so that I can leave out almost a whole branch of my family.
Let’s talk petty, shall we?
Speaking with my dad, I find that not only have my mom’s siblings carried on in their tradition of being utterly selfish (no great surprise), they’ve zero empathy for the fact that she literally has no control over being kind of out of her gourd a lot of the time and as a result, they’ve pushed her out of their lives. Fine, that’s their choice. BUT they’re also choosing to pick and peck at her from afar. They sneer at her behind her back, and to all the other siblings, for not being successful, healthy, or wealthy. And it’s no longer even just the sibs, their mom has joined in the act. That’s the final straw.
While she doesn’t remember two days after it’s happened, I won’t tolerate that kind of behavior and it’ll be a cold day in Zimbabwe before they’re welcome in my home.
Would you believe that they invited her over to “visit” only to ignore her the whole time, and her own mother walked away from her rather than respond to attempts at conversation? Really?? She’s ill. Her entire “childhood” was about raising those ingrates. She gets married which should be a bit of a pass but then spent more than fifteen years of her married life scrimping so she could send money to them, spending untold amounts of time and money to support their move to the U.S. After all that, this is how they treat her?
Oh we’re done. I’m divorcing that side of the family.
And y’know what? If PiC insists he really wants a wedding? Fine. No problem. Starting with Grandma and all the way down the line of aunts and uncles who participate in the shenanigans, and their kids who aren’t old enough to be independently considered, we can consider my guest list thoroughly revamped. I’ll keep about ten members of the clan, the rest of them can go fly a kite.
Just think how much money I can “save” by being just as petty as those I’m condemning! 😉
**Please don’t think I’ve entirely lost my mind. I’m not seriously doing up a shindig just to spite them. But if PiC insists on a wedding, they are NOT invited.**
June 28, 2010
It’s time. It’s more than time. Given all my health spasms, the delay makes absolutely no sense but it should. Going to a new doctor to explain all my issues (pronounce: “iss-seeuuwws”) from the last 15 years transports me into the state of denial and aggro.
It’s dumb. Absolutely dumb. I know it but there’s something that’s balked at having to start that Find a New Doctor and Start Over nonsense. That would be the memory of 10 years of being bounced from doctor to doctor who all told me it was in my head, that my pain was imaginary, that no one my age could be experiencing what I was, in fact, experiencing. Jerks.
Anyway, no more delaying tactics – I’m going to start going to the doctor so I can find a good doctor. As much as I hate the rigamarole, I have to start somewhere and at least I’m not a confused, shy, teenager in too much pain to stand up for herself.
I’m compiling a single page document to summarize the past 15 years of tests, meds and exams and bringing it with me – that’ll save time.
And the bigger pain is the literal one in my neck and shoulders that tighten up to iron-rod strength every time I get stressed or something else hurts. It’s just foolish to not try and fix *that.*
Wish me luck!
{————Carnivals————}
My thanks …..
to Suburban Dollar for hosting this week’s Carnival of Personal Finance.
June 26, 2010
Everyone is still alive and well.
Family
This is how I know my parents are still eating regularly and out and about town even though I’m not right there to see it:
$239 of my $439 credit card balance is for gas and groceries at their favored markets and gas stations.
Friends
Two dear friends (two separate couples) just let me know they’re expecting. Both surprises, and they’re both really early in the first trimester which always makes me a tiny bit nervous when people announce that early. But I’m health-matters-shy so I keep my worries to myself and bid them Congratulations!
I’ve been MIA in friend circles for the most part so it’s nice to know life really does go on.
Work
I still haven’t determined the best commute method or schedule that’s most time and financially efficient. I’ll just load a chunk of money onto my Commuter FSA, use that to fund a Clipper card for the bus that I’ve been paying out of pocket and have a fairly flexible way to pay for all kinds of SF transportation. I’ll use it eventually.
This week – I may have found my center. My Zen. My professional bedrock. Not once did I crumble in despair over people quitting (another one’s off to do cool things, good for that one!), the imminence of a major project, the stresses of getting my job done and done well. The pressure is still ON ON ON but I’m now standing tall and moving through it.
FUN
Heading out to a wedding reception in a few, then have PiC’s back-home friends in town this weekend. Comic Con is coming up quickly and I have a small budget for to enjoy it with. *squeeee*
’tis all for now, hope you’re having a fantastic weekend and see you soon!
June 23, 2010
Remember how I needed a new phone? I’m still eking out as much life out of my current phone and plan as possible but it’s clearly geriatric and the simplest commands take as much as 25 seconds to start working. It’s time for a contingency plan. But ….
After 5 years of working on a Powerbook, I still went with a PC for my primary use laptop at home. It took me two and a half months to activate my iPhone (2G) from Christmas 2007. Heck, I refused to activate it until my phone actually stopped working. To this day, I’m still grumpy about paying $65/month instead of $40 for cell phone service though admittedly, am addicted to having email and Twitter almost all the time. The shortcomings, quirks and many many dropped calls or freezing up incidents could fill up a phone book.
So … why is it that I’m having the worst time imagining life with a different phone? No, that’s not what I mean. I would looove a phone that functioned fully. I would love to have reasonably good performance and reasonably low pricing. T-mobile has a fantastic deal right now with, get this:
No Activation Fee
2 Free Smartphones
Free Shipping
750 Anytime Minutes
Unlimited texting
Unlimited web service
Unlimited mobile to mobile
All for $100/month.
$100!! For two phones! (I’m considering a family plan with PiC.) After taxes, even, let’s say, 20% in taxes and fees, that’s still less than I’m paying now. My budget rules my decisions when it comes to phones, so why does my not-budget now chime in with a reluctant “Mehhhhhh…”?
That’s it. Apple has brainwashed me into believing that their interface is right and all others are wrong.
I can’t even remember where half my apps are, I hate Apple’s business practices (good for them, oh-so-bad for me) but I viscerally can’t accept a different interface.
Well played, Steve Jobs.
June 22, 2010
Yesterday’s experiment wasn’t the best pub transit experience ever. While I remember some stress-fraught days waiting for an employer-affiliated bus to show up, they were 90% on time coming and going, and with minor exceptions, the train was pretty solid as well.
Running late seems to be par for the course for Muni, Metro and their cousins. Option A sounded pretty solid on paper. In fact, there’s no good way to figure out which of the 4 possible stops on an intersection a given bus pulls into as a first time rider. In fact, there were multiple possible stops on one of the 4 ways, so I ran around like a nutjob trying to figure out where to be. Of course I missed my first shot out and was late for my first day in the new place. Not a huge deal, but mildly frustrating. The butt burner was the fact that people requested stops EVERY block. Add on another ten minutes to a joltingly long ride.
Going home was no picnic, either. I realized that my two-stops per hour train route was really difficult to match with the bus routes/schedule. Coming into work using BART per Option B will call for matching yet another set of schedules to the BART/Muni pairing: that of the free shuttle. There’s a very conveniently located free shuttle that’ll take you to the nearby BART stations so I could avoid paying for parking since it goes the opposite direction of my current carpool. The problem is that there is one schedule, period. That shuttle would dictate which BART and then which Muni I could take afterward, no compromises.
*sigh*
And as it turns out, taking on the commute like this isn’t just time, of course it costs a lot extra as well. My costs are doubling, sometimes more than that, depending on whether I have to drive and pay for parking that day. All told, the cost of going to work now ranges from $8.50 to $12 per day!
While I’d factored about $100 into the transportation budget, that pretty much blows it out of the water. At this rate, between starting up investing again and this chunk, I’ve used up any slack in the budget found when cutting back on spending. It almost might be worth paying the equivalent cost in parking and saving myself the run/wait/run/wait aspect of the commute.
June 21, 2010
Somehow I’d almost forgotten that starting today, my office will no longer be a convenient, single train ride location. It’s not that I’d forgotten about the move, just the consequences of it such as having a new address, new business cards, and horror of horrors: having to navigate a new public transit route.
There are two options: taking the old route plus a bus (adding another 20-30 minutes)
or
taking a new route via BART and subway (almost the same total travel time).
I’m trying the first option first today since I still have Caltrain passes to use up and should only pay an extra $2 for the bus (and $3 today since I’m driving myself to the station). Sometime during the week I’ll start testing the BART routes. BART plus subway is projected to cost $4.50 each way and I might be able to take a free shuttle to and from the station depending on their and my hours of operation.
Much as I’m tempted to gripe about the doubled commute time, it’s still shorter than my former commute of an hour and twenty minutes. I do wish that San Francisco had better public transit, though, the systems are all really pricey, don’t really seem to work together all that well and the fare and schedule information aren’t clear at all. 511.org was not all it’s been touted to be.
Here’s hoping there’ll be at least one bank and one library branch within a really short walking distance.
The great thing is I happen to be moving practically next door to the temporary workplace of one of my high school friends. We might even get to see each other!
June 20, 2010
Weekend “Best Of” List
Best line: “I need to jump at least one curb.” (driving a 2-person surrey holding 3 people)
Best laugh: Watching as my friend decided to “rodeo” the wooden horse mounted on a spring, and sl-l-l-ooowwwwwww-ly tilt and fall off the side. She was parallel to the ground, hanging on for dear life, until she lost her grip and *thumped* gently down that last inch.
Best food: Lunch at a completely empty sushi restaurant. Delicious food, great portions and 100% service from the only person working ($75).
or wait, maybe it was my asparagus risotto with Creole shrimp with roasted potatoes and onions next to a green salad! That was pretty darn good and only $15 for three meals.
Best pain: Sore bums after hitting the race slides built for kids half our size. Best 5 out of 7 for the privilege of paying for groceries.
Best view: Staring off the coast toward Sausalito and the GG Bridge to watch two intrepid swimmers making their way out to sea.
Best adventure: Renting a surrey for an hour ($20), offroading said surrey, crashing downhill at unsafe speeds. Taking the surrey off the proscribed paths to the Academy of Sciences, discovering free Ben and Jerry’s, chatting with strangers, petted three dogs, having our picture taken by the B&J employee because we were “cute,” and getting free flash drives for taking pictures with their cows. Oh, and getting my pants stuck to the surrey while sitting on the front basket bars.
Best new food discovery: Cinderella’s Bakery has authentic Russian food served by what I’m convinced are authentic Russian People. They were excellent and so was the food ($32).
Best laugh at other people (not my friends): Wildlife volunteers at a preserve were treed by a baby skunk.
Best realization: I think I’m ready to settle down a bit. Not stop traveling and become a total hermit, but settle down and accept this as my home for now. And that means I. Want. A. DOG. (Most particularly mine, but if she can’t tolerate this weather, I won’t do it to her.) Visiting the humane society reminded me of how much I miss having animals in my life and even if I can’t have one dog to bring home now, I’d like to start volunteering.
Also, the idea of marriage (and maybe even a teeny-tiny wedding of some sort) doesn’t send me into dry heaves or a panic attack. Huh.
It wasn’t the cheapest weekend but mostly for my friends. I fail at beating these friends to the check most times because they’re bigger than me and paying any meal checks has become a contact sport. I did manage to pay for most of the groceries, only just, but they got me back by sending a $100 SpaFinder gift certificate. *eyeroll* What the heck, people? I’m hosting you! Let me do my thing! But I made them delicious breakfasts and one dinner, that’ll show them! Right? Right?
There were some excellent photos but not on my camera. Must finagle.