December 18, 2023

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (185)

Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area.

Year 4, Day 258: My three sweet potato sprouts are dead. Unexpected cold got them, maybe. More slips are growing in the garage, we’ll try again after January. My onions are still going strong, though, the green tops show no sign of going yellow and flopping over. Here’s hoping they continue to grow another month so we don’t have to worry about them right in the middle of holiday stuff.

*****

JB lost a specific set of screentime privileges and has to earn it back by setting the table ten times in a row without being told. They have failed to do this 9 times out of ten so far, and that tenth time they only managed it because I wasn’t home to tell them. Every night, I have to tell them to do it which means they don’t get to check the box that says “I set the table X times without being told.” The whole point of this exercise is to train them to remember we eat dinner every single night and to set the table without my having to tell them what to do and clearly I have failed to set them up for success. Open to suggestions.

Year 4, Day 259: This may have been brought on by being mostly awake since 3 am but I’m having an existential … not-crisis … hiccup? I feel like I’m in a bubble of not-being. Or rather a bubble separated from who I am. In the big picture, this hiccup doesn’t matter because I have a dog to walk, the recycling to take out, paperwork to process, kids to pick up and feed. These things are going to happen whether or not I feel wholly at home in my skin or part of my/any community.

I also feel disconnected from so many people right now even as the holiday cards roll in. Maybe they’re a reminder that I’ve felt so isolated all this year and there’s some guilt over that as well as frustration about having wasted an entire year battling a nonstop circus of viruses. It sucked feeling sick all the time for a whole year. I got nothing done. What a waste.

*****

There is something really grounding about running into a neighbor with their puppy that likes Sera, though! They “played” which was the puppy trying to roll under Sera while she grumpily snarled at them to submit and then getting mad when the puppy kicked her. I gave them both treats and they settled right down.

*****

Had to grab impromptu takeout for dinner because the chicken wasn’t defrosted in time for me to cook it. We used to limit our eating out to twice a week and it was usually $27 after tax and tip. These days it’s more like $55-65 after tax and tip to feed four, usually with some leftovers.

*****

I’ve had to shop Amazon this fall for a number of items we can’t get elsewhere. Just heard that if you tell your Echo device or Alexa app “Thank my driver” they’ll give your driver a $5 bonus. Echo and Alexa are not allowed in my house but if you search “Thank Driver” in the app, you can do it that way too. This little message appears at the top of my app screen:

Amazon should just pay generous cash bonuses and cover the taxes, along with real living wages, but since I can’t make that happen, I’ll do this as long as they have it.

Of course I’m a little suspicious why they have it going, because they’re not to be trusted generally but unfortunately they’re the only source for a number of things we need to buy right now.

Year 4, Day 260: Do you consider your statements to be commitments? Suppose you say “I’ll pick up the potatoes today after work.” Would that be a solid commitment in your mind, or do you assume that it’s automatically hedged with “if I can”?

We have a difference of opinions here. I think if you make a declarative “I will” statement then you’re committing to the thing so either be upfront with your known limitations/conditions (if I have time, if that meeting doesn’t run long, etc) or say you’ll try and leave it at that. PiC thinks treating a statement as a promise is too . I say his way leads to chaos. Disclaimer, this isn’t a huge problem for us. It’s just one of those things we disagree on the basic premise for and I’m curious if it’s just us or if other people see it differently as well.

I see this playing out with JB now. He’ll say “we’ll take a ride on Xday”, so they expect a ride to happen come hell or high water on Xday. And then if something comes up, they’re not just disappointed, they’re also confused about how the statement of fact became false: we were going to ride but we didn’t.

I explained that extenuating circumstances happen and they happened in this case. But as kids will do, they fixated on when when when will we take that promised ride?

How do you receive these statements?

Year 4, Day 261: Now that TV ads are a thing on our streaming services again, I’m seeing those holiday car commercials “Lease a BMW for $699 a month!”. It got me thinking I can’t imagine having a giant monthly payment ever seeming like a good thing to take on again. But on the other side of it, the idea of saving that same amount each month in preparation for buying something large seems totally reasonable. Both are taking money out of the paycheck, but the perspectives feel completely different.

*****

This is my fourth day trying out Dear Klairs Midnight Blue Calming Cream in what feels like a probably fruitless attempt to calm down my rosacea redness. The redness annoys me and this is the first time I’m trying a product to combat it. Maybe it takes a week or two for this sort of thing to work if it’s going to help? Maybe it can only help reduce redness temporarily, it’s not like it’s curing anything.

*****

Out of four pairs of Old Navy jeans, boot cut and straight cut, in dark wash and black, only the black pairs fit and the straight cut fits best. Drat. I don’t love boot cut like I used to. They’re all the same size but the dark wash was a struggle to pull on. The working theory is the dark wash jeans were made at a different factory. The takeaway: buy two of each of everything when trying to figure out what size you are to have a chance at having two pairs of something fit well.

Year 4, Day 262: A friend insisted on giving me a Christmas gift, despite my protests she’s already been so generous to us, so I caved and admitted I would love an ebook from any of my comfort reading series that I’ve only given the library money for (Murderbot, Toby Daye, Kate Daniels). I’ll pick up the others myself, probably slowly, but she can start me off with the first one. I have some of the Innkeeper books and some of the Incryptid series already, when I found sales a few years back.

*****

I planted two sets of onions from sprouts. The six sprouts from the first set are still going strong. One of the three from the second set turned yellow and flopped over which is how you know they’re ready to harvest, except that it was just dead. Eight possible onions left! 🤞

*****

Friday food! This was very much a make-do week. Monday we had the fundraiser burgers. Tuesday we grabbed Chinese on the way home from activities because the chicken was still frozen. Wednesday must have been leftovers, and I also threw together a diced chicken and Chinese broccoli slivers stir fry with a packet of leftover bulgogi sauce. Thursday, PiC and Smol got home first so they started prepping breakfast for dinner. Friday I tried to place an order to the taqueria for pickup four times online before I finally gave up and sent PiC in my place. I’ve taken to adding a pozole to my order so we’d have a warm delicious soup for dinner or for leftovers.

The three remaining packets of chicken thighs were still kind of frozen so they had to wait for weekend cooking.

December 11, 2023

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (184)

Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area.

Year 4, Day 251: I’m mildly annoyed that the elementary school is having the kids do Christmas carols this year. Not specifically for our sake, we’re Buddhist and we’ve always been pretty open to observing (literally observing in the sense of watching and also celebrating if invited) other traditions in an almost anthropologic sort of way, more for the kids who aren’t Christian and do have meaningful holidays that are ignored in favor of the dominant Christian stuff. Last year their teacher taught them about all the religious holidays that are celebrated in the winter months and I liked that. I’m not entirely sure how to raise this topic because I just heard about it and haven’t come up with a better option that’s celebrating in a way that’s not othering.

In other news, the plea from the Pine Ridge coordinators this weekend was depressing. A lowlight: “We’ve been working hard listing families that are in need of Christmas presents for their children. We have had a tremendous response – but the need of families has been overwhelming. We are getting really scared that the families listed will not get any Christmas presents for their children and grandchildren.” I’m usually shopped out by this time of the year but I couldn’t NOT try again. So I spread the news on Twitter and Bluesky, and picked up a family with ten kids. In the spirit of the Little Engine that could, I think I can I think I can!

Update: I did! We gathered enough funds to send every kid a gift on their wish list plus a bit of food and snacks for the family.

Then I had just enough time to hop around for a look at winter coats on sale. Ordered our Lakota kid a coat, warm gloves, and wool socks to go with the warm hat and rain boots I sent last week. I’m not good at fun gifts but I will make sure our people are warm and fed. That’s my specialty. They might want another sponsor when they get a little older and I’d understand.

Year 4, Day 252: Terrible start to the day at 330 am between a too-early waking and nightmares about fighting with my biodad again. I haven’t had one of those in months, maybe even years, and it’s every bit as unsettling as it was when they were a regular occurrence. It feels like it left psychic goo smeared all over. Ick.

Related, I finally complained about my jaw pain on Bluesky yesterday. It’s been more than a month with an ache in the left side of my jaw and I’m tired of it. It makes chewing really uncomfortable and just hurts the rest of the time. A friend helpfully gave me a rundown on things that have helped her. I knew about the mouth guard recommendation but have you ever heard of tongue posture? I hadn’t! Trying it out today has relieved some of the pressure in the side of my jaw. I hope this is all it takes, though.

I left PiC to figure out the kids’ doctor appts and our conference call this week. Those are usually on my plate but my brain is maxed out.

Year 4, Day 253: The jaw pain isn’t gone today but it’s at least 30% less! Measured by my ability to open and close my mouth and even to chew without excruciating pain, just bothersome pain.

We were all off our game today. The kids had appointments in the morning and were Infinitely Grumpy by the afternoon and evening. By 615 pm, we had one kid sobbing at the dinner table and the other kid sobbing in their room. So many feelings. So many energies.

When they’d all been fed, bathed, and packed off to bed, I settled into a long stint of ordering the last (I hope) holiday gifts for a White Elephant Party that PiC didn’t know about until the last minute (a game), the toddler birthday party (stack of books), and the other niblings (more books). I asked for book recommendations for the toddler set and a friend suggested Mud Puddle by Robert Munsch which I’d never heard of. I also ordered the last gift card for the Christmas Lakota family and packed all of those for mailing in the morning. After scouring Target and Michaels for fabric drawstring bags (NOT Christmas themed), I gave up and bought a pack from Amazon. Again opting for delayed shipping to get the digital reward since I yearn for more books but we’re quite cash poor this month after November’s purchases.

Year 4, Day 254: Another 40% drop in jaw pain! I was startled when I dragged myself out of bed and tentatively yawned. A little pain still, but the worst of it is better. So grateful for the relief.

After only about 4 hours of sleep, 3+ potential sleep hours were lost to painsomnia and Smol Acrobat’s disturbances, getting up into the wintry chill was tough. *Trudge Trudge Trudge* Sitting on the heating pad at my desk after finally pushing everyone out the door is wonderful, though, if I must be upright and conscious. This thing is a workhorse.

Packing continues today: Put together the last holiday box for our Lakota kiddo and scheduled a pickup for tomorrow. I have a standing giftee list to work from but can’t shake the feeling that I’m forgetting someone. There are still treats in my Chewy cart for my catphew, but pretty sure all the cousins have been … Nope. Two more! They’ll also get money because they’re long distance.

AUGH also FINALLY remembered the thing I’d been trying to dredge up from the back of my consciousness, tickling at me. There are two December birthdays to worry about and I’d only figured out one of them. Whew. Thank goodness.

Also also, I’d been slowly throwing together some pictures for a “catching up” holiday card since we hadn’t sent one in years. My heart wasn’t really into sending Christmas cards. When I changed it to a New Year card, that felt more right. Plus that gives me more time to send them. It’s a darn shame that Costco shuttered their Photo / Card printing services. Their prices were pretty reasonable. I ordered from Office Depot to test their quality. My experimental order coincided with a 60% off cards and invitations promo taking my $105 order (including tax and shipping) down $55. I also had some rewards money to apply so I’m spending about $30 out of pocket on 75 cards. I’ll be annoyed if they’re trash quality but not nearly as annoyed as if I paid Shutterfly prices!

Year 4, Day 255: PiC recently witnessed the same kid who attacked Smol Acrobat pinning down a little girl who was screaming at him to get off. He wouldn’t let her up until PiC saw what was happening and told him to get off her. Thankfully she wasn’t hurt but she was clearly distressed and it’s really frustrating that even with the safeguards and checks and staffing, this is still happening. So far Smol Acrobat is ok, but we can’t help feeling like it’s just a matter of time before this kid, who generally does this for a laugh from what we’ve seen, does someone more serious harm again. We’ve scheduled a call with the Director to get a read on what steps are being taken about this, but I suspect they won’t be able to bounce him out of there until and unless he harms someone a second time. The thing is we keep seeing him run at the other kids, not in anger, but rather because he thinks it’s funny to ram the others headfirst or things like that. Never quite serious enough to cause real injury but certainly nothing you want your kid to be subjected to, either.

*****

Home test to treat: Register now to access free virtual care and treatment for COVID-19 and Flu, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

*****

We would normally have had the tree up weeks ago, at my insistence, but it’s still not up yet because I’m feeling quite meh about it. I am on top of the presents and getting the house supplies stocked up. I know PiC will get on it but he usually does it for my sake. Maybe I just don’t have any emotional bandwidth left to want our own tree. Or maybe it’s just really hard to feel holiday related joy right now with all that’s going on in the world.

*****

Augh reminder to self, I need to open a Roth IRA for JB’s money. Their art store made a little money this year. I plan to donate a portion of the proceeds when we iron out all the kinks. For this first year, we’ll put the small amount into the Roth.

December 4, 2023

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (183)

Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area.

Year 4, Day 244: I’ve spent all year preparing for the end of the year: clearing holiday shopping ahead of time, getting (almost) all the check ups done before December, etc. Now that it’s upon us, I’m flabbergasted. How did it get to be December?? SMH. Also, we’re back to the grind of just the two of us trying to do ALL THE THINGS. We had a very lovely reprieve, it was rejuvenating even though I was short on sleep the whole week. I forget how much feeling supported offsets feeling tired. Under the “but no thank you” heading, Smol Acrobat is sick AGAIN. I bought them

On Bluesky, @vikrambath.bsky.social skeeted: “Very normal college admissions process we’ve got here in the United States of America” with a screenshot of an article: “Esther’s academics weren’t “stellar”, Kim said – only a 4.3 GPA 1520 SAT and nine AP courses. But in her personal statement, she wrote about her mother’s fight with breast cancer. And she was admitted to the University of Pennsylvania. “That was her trump card. It was a unique situation that she overcame,” Kim said. “To be frank, she got really lucky.”

My good friends back in the day were accepted to Berkeley, UPenn, Cornell, Columbia. I never once thought about their application process back then but these little snippets into college admissions processes today are at least a little unnerving. I wonder how much of that is limited to the colleges I’d never have tried for and wouldn’t expect my kids to try for, and how much of this has spread across the board to more … normal? run of the mill? standard? colleges. I don’t know what to call them exactly, but the ones that are in our pay grade.

(Whispers so I don’t jinx it: Smol Acrobat fed themselves eggs this morning and salad at dinner! With their own hands!! The way they eat their pizza is a complete travesty but I’ll take it!)

(more…)