By: Revanche

Unbelievable tragedies

November 30, 2007

Not just one.

I left work on Wednesday at noon to go support BoyDucky and his family. Their father was failing, and he was at the hospital alone.

They made the decision to let him go that night. His condition was drastically worse, and he was in pain.

We stayed by his side all night, on pain medications, until he passed just before midnight. I stayed with the family for the next eight hours in a Buddhist prayer chant to send him on his way. Mom, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends held vigil for him until 8 am.

This is all very bare bones because I’m still in shock right now. I’m in shock because after 24 hours of overwhelming grief, having to see the family’s faces contorted with pain, we hadn’t experienced the worst.

Less than twelve hours after BoyDucky’s father passed, his cousin, our friend, A, left the hospital to let their dog out and run errands for BoyDucky’s mother.

We found out at 2pm that he was involved in a fatal car accident. He’d fallen asleep at the wheel and drifted into a parked semi on the side of the road.

BoyDucky and I had to find, wake up, and break the news to his mother and that was the single most horrific thing I’ve ever done in my life.

A would be characterized by many people as a good friend, a good son, a good brother, and a good person. He could have been defined as responsible, caring, compassionate, selfless, patient beyond belief and genuine. He would be defined that way, by other people. But for me, he defined those values. He was the example against which I held up others who aspired to be responsible, caring, compassionate, strong, and genuinely good to others. On a good day, I could have been an “A”. I wouldn’t count on it, ’cause he was so damn good at being good, but if I could be like him, that was compliment enough.

A was a rock. A solid, young man, the eldest son, and the best son his mother could ask for. He was the best cousin BoyDucky could have, and a wonderful friend. I’m grateful for the time I had with him, and I miss him.

There are two gaping holes in my heart right now, and I may not be blogging for a while.

10 Responses to “Unbelievable tragedies”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I’m so sorry.

  2. Kacie says:

    That’s so very sad. I’m so sorry. 🙁

  3. Chitown says:

    I am so sorry. Hopefully you will one day make sense of all of this and peace will fall upon you.

  4. sabrina says:

    What a terrible tragedy! It must be awful for BD’s family to lose not only their patriarch but also one of their bright hopes for the future. I know the pain of their loss will not be easy for you to bear. I hope you and BD will take comfort in each other’s love and support. My deepest sympathy.

  5. Anonymous says:

    You have my sympathy.

  6. There are no words. I’ll be thinking of you and their family.

  7. MoneyDummy says:

    I’m so sorry.

  8. SavingDiva says:

    I’m sorry for your loss. When you do come back to blogging, I’ll be around! 🙂

  9. I’m so sorry… omg…. and I’m even more sorry about how late I am reading this post

    *HUGS* If you neeed anything I’m here for you…. 🙁

    I hope you make it through this holiday season in good health and with lots of rest

  10. Sorry to hear about your loss. You, Boy Ducky and the family will be in my prayers.

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