By: Revanche

Adios, denied gratification!

April 6, 2009

Well-Heeled is a bad influence. That’s right, I said it. She is an enabler! And … I’m weak.

I bought a handbag.

Hah, ok truthfully after three weeks of telling myself “no, no, noooo,” there was no guilt once the decision to Buy clicked. The sense of peace might have been relief that I was no longer obsessing over something. Whatever the case, this time, saying “I’m weak” and shaking a finger at my enabler is pure habit. This is despite the fact that it’s unbudgeted spending, hell-o, I’m still facing a layoff, and it cost approximately 6.875 times more than I have ever paid for any bag. (For those who care about percentages, it was 65% off. I only consider the final dollar price that I pay.)

It’s not an investment. It won’t yield any tangible, monetary returns, just personal enjoyment. And y’know something? It’s fine. How so laissez-faire? Well ….

1. I won’t go into debt for it.
2. This isn’t habitual spending: I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve purchased a large ticket item: three coats and a laptop in 9 years. [The car doesn’t count – that wasn’t entirely my choice.] Though, feel free to chime in “didn’t you just buy ….” if you recall something I don’t. My memory’s wacky.
3. While it’s a shock to the system, I’m finally buying a quality item that will last years instead of a cute bargain that’ll last months.
4. It’s only money.

:O

Yep. As hard as I’ve worked to save every penny, the having of which is highly highly comforting in these turbulent times, what’s the point if I only ever use it for rent, bread/rice, and water? And as much as I worry about it, this single purchase does not signal wholesale lifestyle inflation. I’ve needed a professional bag since becoming a professional, but would indefinitely continue lying to myself about buying one if I didn’t let go already.

I do this all the time (example circa October 2006):

[For months … I promised myself an iPod for the train ride when I started that new job: “when things get better, you can have *****.” I’m such a liar.]

Like I said about saving, you can’t reap the benefits of saving with actually saving, neither can you have nice things without spending money on them. Legally, I mean. Or without a sugar-daddy. That should go without saying, but I’m saying it anyway just in case.

My birthday bag is much loved, but after 6 months of constant use, it’s getting destroyed. There’s a gaping hole in the lining at the bottom, the fabric around the one side pocket is disintegrating, and the flaps/corners are fraying at an alarming rate.

Whether it’s because the materials were manufacturer-quality (aka: mass produced, cheaply), or I’m just too hard on my belongings is a moot point: this poor bag will be trashed by the end of this year from what I consider normal use. I really like it, so I’d rather not have to discard it, *sad face* because it’s fallen apart.

The bag I bought should arrive in about a week and it will have outside side pockets for my phone, keys, Bluetooth, headphones and mini-Snickers. That means the daily, post-work heart attacks while rummaging through current bag desperately searching for my phone? Can finally stop. *siiigh* For that alone, I might have just added an additional year to my life.

The leather will be saaaawwfft. Oh so Charmin’ soft. I might be found curled up with it tucked under my chin, purring, when it arrives. I make no promises. It’ll be sturdy, the liner fabric will be thick, it zips in case of inclement weather and pickpockets, and can be slung over a shoulder.

What’s that you’re saying? Stop talking and show pictures? Well … alright ….. there’s only one right now, though. Readers, behold my new friend!

Besides, doesn’t one need a bag to be a bag-lady? 😉

Note: I swore I wouldn’t do it, but I’m already tapping at the order-processing screen, and e-stalking UPS. I want my bag! It’s too late for the mini-Snickers, I’ve eaten them all. See? In the end, I’m all about instant gratification.

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