By: Revanche

BlogBullying: Back. Off.

December 9, 2009

Editor’s Note: Issue resolved & closed now.

22 Responses to “BlogBullying: Back. Off.”

  1. In line with this same behaviour is ADVERTISING bullying.

    If I say no to something, I mean it. Please don’t try and convince me that you can make my site go viral and bring in “tens of thousands of dollars a month” via your program.

    I said NO. N-O.

    Both behaviours? Childish and sort of pathetic.

  2. Ginger says:

    Wowzers! That’s pretty extreme!

    I think it’s dumb when people go off the deep end like that. I’ve done it before myself and learned that it doesn’t get you anywhere.

    When in doubt, send a polite email and inquire, and then give them a chance to respond. THEN get angry. Sheesh.

  3. Money Funk says:

    Now wait (to the person wrongly accusing Revanche), carnival submission also says “If your entry was not included, please don’t be offended”. That means the host has the right now to accept the submission. Aka: get over it and try again.

    Ugh. Sorry to hear, Revanche.

  4. Money Funk says:

    right not to accept the submission.

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. *edited to fix typo!*

    The behavior was unacceptable and showed poor blogger-sportsmanship (yeah, I just made that up). I’ve just started to submit to carnivals, and many of them state that not all submissions may be used, to begin with — nevermind that you can’t publish something you haven’t received. I’ll never understand why people always have to assume the worst. I would have just chalked it up to a technical glitch and called it a day.

  7. Serendipity says:

    Geez Loiuse. I never submit to carnivals only because I’m not sure how they work and because I’m not sure my writing is quite up to par yet with alot of the fabulous bloggers who already submit. But to be so immature about such a thing is rude, childish and stupid. Not to mention immature. And to try to bully you online via Twitter and god knows whatever else? It’s called slander and harrassment. There are legal terms for it, rather we’re all anoyonmous or not. Hmph. You go Revanche!

  8. Whoa! I’ve not been included in many carnivals I’ve submitted to and I got over it real fast. Do people not have other things to attend to besides their blogs? That’s silly drama! Blogging is supposed to be fun!

  9. 444 says:

    Hmm… I’ve only ever seen your netiquette as the most polite possible (more polite than, for example, mine – I slip up now and then.) People can get so caught up in their little cyber-world that their manners go out the window and they show their worst sides. Sorry you had to get a load of that in your inbox. Sometimes people need to step back and get some perspective on the way they present themselves to others (unbalanced and inordinately vindictive, maybe?), which includes their interactions with the denizens of blogland. Even though we all seem very fuzzy and abstract, care should be taken because there are real people on the other end of every exchange!

  10. SS4BC says:

    I’m sorry you had to go through this. =(

    (btw… you’ve made me REALLY curious as to who it is… and thus make me want to go look for them… ESPECIALLY since I’m in full speed procrastination mode right now… however, I will TRY to resist giving them any more attention than they deserve)

  11. Oy yoy yoy. What a nightmare! I’m disappointed I missed all this Twit-drama, I’m so all over that. Hehehe.

    I’ve had this happen except vice versa-blog carnival host rejected my food submission because I used the term ‘food porn’ in my post. She said she didn’t want ‘that’ type of language connected with her blog. I wrote her a very polite email back, explaining the term and even linking to the online definition, explaining how it wasn’t actual pornography but a term for yummy food – she still didn’t accept it. I changed the term and she STILL didn’t accept it. WTF? She rejected several other submissions for various odd reasons and I haven’t seen her host since, LOL.

    I get that it’s every individual host’s prerogative whether or not to accept but seriously, some people are just weird. I think you were totally in the right here, m’lady!

  12. Sense says:

    They are clearly messing with the wrong blogger. Not to choose sides and create bigger drama, but I totes got your back.

  13. Wow. Someone’s taking this all way too seriously (and it isn’t you).

  14. Grace. says:

    How totally bizarre. I’ve been blogging for over two years, and I occasionally have posts rejected for carnivals. I do pout in privacy, and I do assume that the person running the carnival is having a moment of financial idiocy to have rejected my wonderfully written and fully appropriate entry, but then I get on with my life. Your stalker should do the same and stop acting like a two year old.

  15. Abigail says:

    Yeah, I don’t understand this person’s problem. All carnivals carry the caveat that not all submissions will be (or might be) included in the carnival. When I have done carnivals, I’ve weeded some out before.

    It’s too bad that, like the original email, you could have avoided receiving the nasty notes & twitters.

  16. Sunflowers says:

    Clearly that person needs to get a life! :p

    Sorry you have to deal with this!

  17. eemusings says:

    Good god. Sorry to hear that – surely by now we’re all old enough to play nicely together?

  18. Revanche says:

    Seriously. Harassment is harassment, period, never mind what flowery words it’s hidden behind.

    Y’all are darlings, including those who reached out to me via email, and I appreciate your moral support. I really needed to get this off my chest.

  19. Janet says:

    Hi Revanche,

    I’ve been reading your site for a while, and also know and follow your “bully” on Twitter.

    I can see where you are coming from, but is there a chance that YOU are the one taking this too seriously?

    I read your bully’s tweets and they were pretty innocuous. He said something to the nature of “damn, I’m a loser, got my first carnival submission rejected by Revanche” or something to that nature. Why is that bad?

    For all he does know, you did deny him and decided not to reply as a convenient excuse. He doesn’t know that.

    You writing a 500+ word post on this subject after he writes a couple self-efficacing twitters could it be that you’re the one taking things too far?

    His posts are awesome, and I enjoy both your writing. I just don’t think he means anything by it, and your response might be a reflection of something bigger that’s bothering you.

    Janet

  20. Revanche says:

    @Janet: If you note the timeline, and re-read the post: I DID RESPOND.

    He didn’t just write a few self-effacing tweets. He tweet-complained, emailed me, tweeted that I thought he and his blog “weren’t worth the time” when I didn’t respond within 24 hours, and continued to tweet AFTER I emailed back that the submission hadn’t been received about how I “rejected” him, and that my response was just a lie/excuse.

    I responded, he chose to say I’m lying.

    The only “bigger” thing that bothered me was that I wanted him to Drop It. Period.

  21. Ingrid says:

    I’m going to second Janet’s comment here. Love your writing dear, but I too know your accuser, and he meant no harm. After that initial evening of tweets, he dropped it and moved on to other topics. Just look at his tweets and you’ll see.

    My submissions to carnivals and guest posts have been denied many times before. All I wanted was a simply acknowledgement and reason for decline so I empathize with him. If you didn’t even bother to respond to him in a prompt way after he took the time to reach out, then I think that’s disrespectful on your part.

    The problem with us women is that we always seem to feel victimized. We feel the world is against us and that we have things much harder. We probably do, but we should stop playing victim, and start focusing on all our positives.

    It’s a perilous path you’re taking Revanche, and I’d just make peace. Life is too short and there are always two sides to every story.

    Ingrid

  22. Revanche says:

    @Ingrid: I’m not a victim here – the “world” isn’t against me. Being a female is irrelevant to this situation.

    I chose to respond to a situation in which honest dialogue wasn’t possible on his terms, but I also elected not to name names so as to avoid drama. I also never asked commenters to reveal his identity on my behalf, that’s unnecessary.

    That said, I appreciate what you’re getting at. I consider the matter closed and shelved, so there’s no need for concern about any perilous path.

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