Is it a Bad Romance? Job Hunting in the Flesh
February 25, 2010
WiseBread’s Job-Search Romance post made me laugh.
No small feat considering how fraught with stress the job-hunt life tends to be, but the timing was just right as I’d just likened the post-interview process to dating in a private conversation:
If I call them before it’s “late,” when they were clear about their response timeline, I destabilize the dynamics. Post (what seemed like) a strong interview, they’ve got to make up their minds to want me. And if they want me, they’ll come calling, not just leave me hanging. If I have to beg them to want me, the chemistry wasn’t there and, by Jove, neither will it be in my favor for negotiations!
As Julie notes, “Often, there is little you can do to make the employer love you if you’re not the one.”
At the end of the day, do you want to have spent your time slaving for the affections of the one who just kind-of, sort-of liked you? Or do you want to have a dynamic, thriving relationship based on mutual goals and admiration?
Idealistic? Absolutely.
WellHeeled rightly points out, “a romance isn’t responsible for PAYING THE BILLS.” Of all people, I know that. But there’s at least a little room for idealism in the world. And there’s still some room in my budget to pursue a combination of that hope and my normal brand of pragmatism.
After all, if I don’t value myself as the proven high-performer that I have been, why should they?
Of course I want a job, but I don’t want just any job, I need a job that wants and values me/my work.
Edited to add a link to a Forbes article: Why Job-Seeking is just like Dating
“Of course I want a job, but I don’t want just any job, I need a job that wants and values me/my work.”
Hear. Hear.
Well said!
“B. You think the interview went fabulously and the company promised to call you by next Wednesday. Now it’s Friday and you’ve heard nothing.”
I don’t think that means much. Four possibilities:
1. All the people needed to make a decision haven’t had time yet to meet and decide.
2. There are more candidates to interview.
3. There is a preferred candidate who has been made an offer and they haven’t decided yet. Maybe they’ll say no.
4. You didn’t get the job.
And if #3 is true, it doesn’t mean they don’t like you, just that there was an even better candidate. # 3 has certainly happened to me before.
Haha, I loved that article when I saw it the other day!
We all want a workplace that values us and our contributions. Unfortunately there aren’t enough of those to go around.
But with a romance, you at least have more than several dates to decide whether or not a relationship can work. Interviewing is like speed-dating: that’s your only hour. If you haven’t impressed, then TO THE CURB YOU GO!
“Of course I want a job, but I don’t want just any job, I need a job that wants and values me/my work.”
I think that’s the problem I have with my work right now. =/
@WeelHeeledBlog: It’ll be your turn, soon!
@L.A.Daze: Thank you!
@mOOm: All good points, though I still take #3 a little personally. Just a touch.
@eemusings: I think we need to band together and create better workplaces as best we can.
@Investing Newbie: Well, the interview’s like the first date. If you’re hired, you’re in a relationship but it’s still lots more work the rest of the way.
@The Asian Pear: 🙁 I’m sorry. Can you get out?