Maternity clothes: saving, spending, gifting
December 3, 2014
Accidentally saving hundreds
Disclaimer: This bit isn’t a tutorial, it’s really a tale of my lapse of judgement.
Having always been so petite that I have historically spent just as much money on tailoring clothes than on the clothes themselves, I suffered from a self-induced delusion that I could pretty much avoid buying maternity clothes.
I’ll just transition to clothes a size larger, I thought.
I can make do with my own stuff, I thought.
A couple long shirts and unbuttoned pants will do, I thought.
Why waste the money for such a temporary thing? I thought.
So wrong.
For a few weeks, nothing was showing. Smugly calculating my savings, my reckoning crept up on me. It was a bit of shock to realize one day that sure, the pants didn’t have to be buttoned to stay up but good luck actually getting them on in the first place. The body does some WEIRD stuff when it’s creating a human and the thing that weirded me out the most was this protrusion. It wasn’t long before my belly was entering the room before I was and let me tell you, that’s just confusing.
I liked SaverSpender’s general guidelines; I didn’t want to spend a log of money or have a ton of clothes I couldn’t wear for more than three to six months, so with that in mind, I hit Target and Old Navy for a few basics (free shipping, cashback rebates, you know the drill).
The prices weren’t bad at all. Thick leggings were less than $20, soft extra-long tees were about $12. I even picked up a couple blousey things for about $15. All told, between sales and lower prices, I spent about $100 for two pairs of thick leggings, a tshirt, two tank tops, a long sleeve blouse and a long, lightweight coverup-type sweater.
Unfortunately, targeting (hah) only really comfortable things meant that I was just casually presentable in public. Definitely not professionally as I don’t believe leggings are pants and I hated the maternity jeans offered but I figured I had time to deal with it. (AKA, ostrich it out for a while longer).
Also wrong.
The weather turned on me in so many ways. It was too cold and wet for the leggings which soaked up water like it was dying of thirst, got really dirty in the splashing about, and then it was too hot for pants entirely. For warm weather, I tend to turn to dresses but all but one dresses stopped fitting. After getting so stuck in one of them that I needed to be rescued, I wasn’t about to try again. Alas, pretty much everything in the closet has been tailored to fit (my pre-pregnancy self)!
Then a friend swooped in.
I’m not proud of this. I hadn’t been complaining, to the contrary, I’d been insisting that I was fine but did admit to caving and buying an emergency pair of maternity jeans. Friend wasn’t having any of my frugality; ze insisted that I needed some nice things and nice things I was going to get. I didn’t realize that this didn’t just mean we were going to take on the chore of shopping together, which I hate and so won’t do alone, but that ze was also going to insist on BUYING the stuff for me.
Honestly, I can’t remember the last time anyone except PiC bought clothes for me, maybe when I was 15? But friend was so insistent, and thoroughly prepared to make a scene if I didn’t graciously accept the gift, that I bowed to the inevitable and accepted a handful of really nice clothes that were comfortable and professional. They’ve been wonderfully comfortable and nice enough quality for work. Though I don’t have to dress up, it still requires something way better than my Target buys, and I’m both grateful and embarrassed to feel “dependent” on the generosity of others.
If they’d been hand me downs, it wouldn’t have felt so weird. On the other hand, as someone who really enjoys giving people gifts of practical things they’d like and would use but wouldn’t buy for themselves, there’s something to be said for accepting gifts from people who truly wish to give them. It’s an odd feeling, and reminds me again of what Mutant Supermodel just said about being on the receiving end of thoughtfulness.
Later I found out that this was something ze had been wanting to do because it’s how ze bonds with another long time friend.
Spending some cash
The emergency maternity jeans, though somewhat oversized because I hadn’t gotten the best advice from the shop assistant, actually still get a bit of play. Turns out that while everyone tells you to buy your pre-pregnancy size, the discrepancy between that and my size now is so significant that jeans that fit well 3 months ago would require the use of tools and an assistant to engineer a way to get them on. So that wasn’t $45 wasted, I have jeans I can still wear.
I did recently go crazy in the underwear department, though. I got a $50 off $150 coupon from Destination Maternity and laughed at the idea of spending that much on anything there, but then, of course, things changed. And by things, I mean the massive circumference of the globe I swallowed. I like to do laundry weekly now, but post-LB, no one’s going to have that kind of time.
In the end, I bought 4 bras and 2 weeks of comfortable underwear for $112, after free shipping and coupon. Pretty sure most of it will fit but we’ll see once they arrive. Even though hitting 3 digits made me wince, remembering how expensive regular bras are for me normally (upwards of $60), this isn’t a totally outrageous expenditure.
As it turns out, I’ve had to emerge from my slapdash-dressing hermitage many more times than I expected during these past few months, and will continue to need to, so it’s not completely out of the realm of sanity to own more than one bra that fits.
The Grab Bag
An unexpected bounty arrived the other day. For me, not for LB! That was exciting. Someone had asked PiC if I’d mind getting some clothing that might fit – of course I wouldn’t mind! – so he schlepped home a HUGE bag full of lightly used clothes. Rummaging through a bag of preselected clothes was a kind of fun I haven’t had since I was a kid. Most *nearly* fit, so I have a bit of an unruly look about me with sleeves too long and collars too wide. Nevertheless, adding a couple shirts and a few dresses to the wardrobe more than doubled it. I like going minimal but it’s been a little bit *too* minimal here for being (nearly) presentable in public.
Fun fact: I didn’t know clothes were purchased in actual stores until grade 7. All my clothes were yard sale buys, hand me downs, or made by Mom. This was a random act of niceness that brought a wave of nostalgia. Also, now I have a couple coats that fit around my wide berth!
Continuing the cycle
I don’t know if LB is going to be an only child or not, but I’m already thinking of who I can pass along some of this bounty to when the time comes.
Yay for clothes and friends! Maternity clothes would frustrate the crap out of me because of the short time they fit and the cost. At least with the bras and underwear they will fit for awhile!
My friend scored a good winter jacket that should last her the whole pregnancy for $3 at a thrift store. It’s such a relief! Lots of my friends end up wearing their spouse’s old stuff that totally doesn’t fit, but who wants to spend hundreds on a jacket for one season?
I know it’s a struggle to accept things, especially new, but there will absolutely be more things like your friend buying you clothes. (also, awesome friend!)
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of the short time they fit and the cost
YES. This was huge for me because I already don’t like spending money on clothes even when I know I’ll wear for a long time.
I think it’s harder for me to accept because receiving gifts are not a normal thing to me, we’re more isolated now so we don’t do gift exchanges with good friends anymore. It’s not a bad thing for the budget though 🙂
With pregnancy/nursing bras, you’re not really paying for the bra you can only wear for a few months, you’re paying not to stretch out & ruin your regular bras that probably will fit you again someday even though it doesn’t seem that way now.
I kept wearing my old bras all through pregnancy and in retrospect it was a big mistake – when I was done nursing and went back to my old size, I had to get mostly all new bras and that’s a lot of money.
Of course, some people never go back so it’s a gamble either way.
That’s super nice of your friend!
I got most of my maternity clothing on ebay– I bought a couple of lots from women who just wanted to get rid of what they had and any suit that fit my inseam that was $15 or under. My favorite from that batch were a couple of jumpers that I pretty much lived in near the end of my pregnancy durations (with long sleeve shirts under for DC1 and short sleeve for DC2). I was a little sad to give them away at the end of the second pregnancy.
Most of our children’s clothing has been presents, either hand-me-downs or from friends and family.
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INCREDIBLY nice.
I hadn’t considered eBay at the time because I’ve never been able to fit normal clothing, and now I’m just that much more confused about determining fit. Whatever, I’m just going to go around with rolled up sleeves and pant legs 🙂
Hand me downs are good for the soul, I say!
So glad you sprang for some duds.
As I recall from the “good” ole days: a) it is amazingly depressing to go around all the time in one of three outfits that sort of fit and sorta almost kinda look OK; b) you’ll still need some of those looser-fitting outfits for three or four months after delivery — it takes that long to get back to normal, assuming you exercise and eat decently; and c) weirdly enough, if you buy decent stuff SOME of the things (blouses, mostly) can stay in the wardrobe long into the future.
Saks has changed hands since I was a young pup, unfortunately. Back in the day, Saks had THE best maternity clothes around, hands-down, even better than the pricey boutiques. And of course Saks has sales every time you turn around. Or it did. Back in the day.
My most memorable maternity purchase was a simple wool jumper (don’t suppose they even make jumpers anymore, eh?) with an empire “waistline” that fit perfectly under the boobs. An incredibly pretty fake-silk blouse was sold with it to make a kind of ensemble — buying that was a good choice. It looked very nice with the jumper, it was washable, it lasted forever, and later, when I rejoined the human race, it looked GREAT with slacks, skirts, and the beloved blue jeans.
Some friends used to swear by ethnic clothing — things from Mexico and India in particular. I was pregnant in the wintertime and found that most such items weren’t warm enough for a cold day. They surely wouldn’t be warm enough for a winter day in the City. But maybe they sell warmer things in that climate; might check Cost Plus/World Market or the like.
Ohhhh boy was I happy to get rid of those dratted jeans with the elastic panel in front. ugh ugh UGH!
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You wouldn’t think so, the way I dress, but it IS nice to have more than 1-3 options if I must be out and about.
Maternity jeans are weird but they aren’t so bad as I had expected. I’m going to call them my Buffet jeans, though.
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You’re pretty lucky to have gotten even nearly fitting maternity clothes given to you. None of my friends who have had kids are anywhere close to my size so I had to buy everything. And working in an office 5 days a week meant that I had to buy professional clothes, jeans (except Fridays), yoga pants or leggings wouldn’t cut it. In the end I might have spent a bit more than I might have liked to but I’ll admit that the more expensive pairs of pants are way more comfortable than the cheap Old Navy ones I bought. So yeah, I won’t be wearing them for long, but I guess its worth it to be presentable and comfortable 😉
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VERY lucky. I’m an abnormal size and have only met 2 ppl in my life where I could actually borrow clothes from, ever. The Grab Bag was a total out of the blue thing, and really I do look a little street urchiny, but since I’ve lowered my standards of dress for running errands and the like, I can get away with wearing the gifted stuff too.
You sound just like me with my first pregnancy. I had never been able to gain weight so I really thought I could get away with just my own clothes, than maybe size mediums and a little larger clothing. . and then I finally conceded and bought size small maternity wear, cause exactly what that sales lady told you — you’re supposed to buy in your size. I’m tallish but very slender. Little did I know that I’d gain over 50% of my body weight (from 105lbs to 170lbs) in pregnancy and ended up having to re-buy maternity clothes twice!
Also, because you might not get them so easily next time, I’d hem them and keep them just in case of a second pregnancy. They will be just as good to give away in a few years as next year. Also, you’ll need some of them during your “fourth” trimester — it takes time for the weight to come all off, if you’re gaining a lot. I’m back to normal now, a few years after my second. It just came off as easily as it went on and I bet it will be the same for you.
Hey Athena, I haven’t seen you in a long time!
That’s a good idea – though given how horrible THIS pregnancy is gone, I’m a bit hesitant to believe I’ll do this again 🙂 Still, no harm in keeping them for a while.