By: Revanche

My kid and Rising Up: Notes from Month 11

January 19, 2016

Socialization

I hate it but it’s time. It’s time for this kid to meet people who are not me or hir dad on a regular basis.

Mostly I hate the idea because I don’t want to socialize but it’s considered child abuse to put a nametag and leash on and send hir out with Seamus to go play. Or at least it’s negligence. So here I go, sucking it up to make this thing happen for hir because this child is all about human interaction. Weird.

Ze firmly believes that no stranger is destined to stay that way and has initiated more casual conversations since being able to hold hir head up than I have my entire professional career. Ze can’t speak words but can sucker strangers from across the room into make absolute fools of themselves making faces for hir enjoyment. I’m not sure if you’ve ever encountered dudes who looked like they just rolled off the WWE set and threw on sweats to grocery shop, but every time we do, LB is determined to make them play using only intense staring and smiles. And it works every time.

Meanwhile, there’s me griping about having to put on pants today so we can go out in public.

Separation anxiety what?

Everywhere I turn, people gush at how engaged LB is, and then in the same breath reassure me that separation anxiety is coming, if it hasn’t struck already. This explains a bit of it. Though I was expecting anxiety, this kid is incredibly independent, far more than I ever was before, oh, 25! When there’s someone or something cool to be investigated, that’s far more important than making sure that we’re around. Ze is remarkably secure, and yes, I’m quite certain ze loves me plenty, I’m pretty secure too, and that’s pretty cool to observe.

It’s fun, and bemusing, to watch hir select new people to bond with and just make that happen with a sunny grin and infectious chuckle. I don’t even know how ze does it, that certainly didn’t come from me. It might be the charisma in the family that I didn’t inherit. There were lots of talents in the family I didn’t get (and did reasonably well without), but it’d be like watching SuperMe if ze is anything like me PLUS has extra talents. Whoa. An independent SuperMiniMe. Bracing myself.

Species Specific….

I have a sneaking suspicion that ze and Seamus are mixed up. Ze holds out hir hands to him for “up!” He wonders why ze gets “table scraps” but he doesn’t. I know we call hir puppy but ze is human, so we probably want to work on the distinction a little.

My favorite part of going out with the two of them is counting their social conquests. Seamus is still ahead by an average of 3 encounters per trip, but they both have strangers stopping to talk to them or casting compliments their way.

We ought to send the two of them on the road to earn their keep. Not yet, though. That pesky child negligence thing.

So helpful

I was just wondering when I could put LB to work around the house. Our little destructor takes apart anything that’s put together, pulls down anything that’s put up, tears up and eats any paper in reach. I don’t bother picking up after hir until ze has done a thorough wrecking job, that’s just a fool’s errand.

Ze has always had a fascination with the front-loading washing machine, often holding onto the window with both chubby fists, leaning hir forehead against the bubble, watching the swish and thump! with open mouth and wide eyes.

I was unloading the last load of the day when ze popped up at the washer door again. This time, ze reached in to grab the spun dry clothes, sniffing, and experimentally licking them. “Can I have that?” I asked. Ze handed the washcloth to me and turned back for a sock. Lick. “Can I have that?” Ze hands it over, shakes out a washcloth. Lick. “Can I have that?” Piece by piece, we emptied the washer together.

SOON.

Sharing is … eh

LB loves to gnaw on things, so much ze loves it. And ze obviously loves me because ze thinks I should partake too. It’s cute. But it’s not a signal that ze is civilized yet, as clearly evident when ze is with other critters approximately hir size. Ze just reaches out and takes what ze wants. This is normal, but we’re now working on the concept that we don’t grab things out of hands.

We demonstrate this as adults: we ask hir for things back and don’t simply grab it back like you might when the kid has no concept of giving.

Then we worked on this with blocks. Ze would have two blocks. I would have none. Ze would either offer me a block, of two, or I would ask for one. Ze would give me Block 1. Then ze would try to grab it back but before hir hand could, I’d offer it back. Soon, there was a tiny pause after ze gave me Block 1 where we’d make eye contact and ze would wait for the offer. After a few rounds, Block 2 rotated in. I ask for, and get, Block 1. Then I ask for, and get, Block 2. Then I offered both blocks back. Repeat. We could play like this for twenty minutes. It’s just a start and a kid hir age probably isn’t going to be so willing to engage in trading, or know what the heck is going on, but I like that ze is now waiting a breath to be offered the toy before grabbing it.

Rise Up!

Coming into the 11th month, ze was comfortably cruising along, holding onto things for support, but one day, ze started doing freestyle squats: Carefully standing up with no support and then clapping with glee. Lowered hirself back down and stood up again. More glee!

Ze is a very strong baby and I’m going to credit hir home-gym circuit training for that. Pull-ups on the refrigerator bar, balancing on the stroller, legwork on the climbing boxes.

So far, 11 months in?

Parenting is sort of fun. Not the sleepless nights, not the worry, not the diapers oh my nose not the diapers, not all that stuff. But it’s well balanced by what LB has brought to the table. Giggles, personality, mischief. An intense need to get into everything that reminds me that Mom’s “someday, you’re gonna have a kid just like you and you’ll deserve it!” curse is alive and well. Though truth be told, this might be my sibling’s curse transferred because Dad points out every so often, LB is way more clever and interested than I was at this age. Thanks….? Though I can do without ever hearing “just wait until…” again. Let me enjoy this moment, alright? Geez.

We are happier, generally, because there’s always a source of hilarity, whether it’s laughing with hir or at hir. Especially when we’re running our Who has the best picture of hir looking like the saddest panda? contest! Call us mean, call us opportunistic, but don’t say we’re slow to pull out the camera when ze is having an unwarranted cry.

There’s a whole litany of things people focus on losing when they have kids. Sure, we don’t have the freedom to just book a weekend away, or the funds to randomly splurge on something pretty. That’s ok. We didn’t permanently lose that. We simply traded it for our wonderful, curious, charming, adorable wee puppy warrior for now.  And that doesn’t feel like a loss at all.

Like Meg, our work-life balance is getting better thanks to having hir around. It’s not perfect, but it’s still awfully nice.

Earlier…

Month 10: Going Boneless
Month 9: Tasting Life
Month 8: Exploration
Month 7: Ambulation
Month 6: Becoming human
Month 5: Toes
Month 4: Velociraptor Claws
Month 3: Growth Spurts
Month 2: Hates sleep
Month 1: Banshee

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