My kid and notes from Year 2.1
April 5, 2017
Skills
Dental hygiene
JuggerBaby has been very enthusiastic about the idea of brushing zir teeth, but zir execution leaves much to be desired. Typically toothbrushing goes something like this:
Mama, yeet? Bush yeet?
Ok, sure let’s brush teeth.
Mama, num num?
Yes, I put toothpaste on your brush already.
Mama, bush yeet!!
Yes, I’m going to brush mine too.
Then for the ten minutes, ze will lick all the toothpaste off zir brush, ask for more, go back to licking the brush when I say no, and then chew on the bristles while criticizing my technique. The bristles touch teeth maybe once, unless incidentally on the way to brushing zir tongue, or if I insisted on brushing them for zir. Of course the latter always starts a fight and ends in tears. Not my tears, though.
Sleep-FRICKIN-regressions
I didn’t know there were sleep regressions after Year One, especially one at 18 months and another at 2 years. At least I didn’t know until ze was nearly 25 months and then it punched us in the faces. Out of the clear blue sky, putting JuggerBaby to bed turned into a wailing, sobbing, desperate-to-keep-us-in-the-room MESS. For days, we tried to put zir to bed after the bath and 3 books routine, and every single day ze tried to monkey-parkour zir way out of the crib and catapult into our arms. Not because ze wanted cuddling, which is when ze is sick, or because ze needed food (ze sports a Buddha belly that could last a week on no food), but because ze didn’t want to be alone.
We tried leaving zir with Seamus. That was good for one night. We tried telling zir that we were right outside the door and that ze could call if ze needed us. That worked once.
Finally, we negotiated with the toddler-terrorist. Or rather, we caved. Each night, we would put zir to bed, and ze would say “Mama jeep? Dada jeep? Gigi jeep?” We were all to go to bed at the same time, in the same room. If we were good and quiet, ze would roll around like a mad cannoli for 20 or so minutes and pass out. If we bothered zir too much by talking or looking at work on our phones, it’d take over an hour. It got so bad that we were just all asleep by 9 pm for several days in a row. Nothing was getting done – our nights were effectively over by 6 pm.
After 3 weeks of being held hostage, I decide we were trying again. I told zir: “ok, we have to go clean up now, so you stay here and we’ll be right outside, the door is open if you need us.” This time, ze was open to it, saying “ok” and just asking for more massages before I left. I was cautiously optimistic, remember, this worked once before too and then 2 weeks of misery followed!
But it seemed to coincide with the pieces falling into place with toilet training. We had added 4 potty breaks to our nighttime routine: after dinner, after a shower, after reading, and one more time after being put to bed. Once ze was in this routine for a few days, it seemed that ze wasn’t quite as inclined to demand that we stay in the room and sleep with zir.
Clean up clean up! Everybody cleans up!
I adore daycare for teaching the kids a clean up song because it encourages them to comply when you ask them to help clear the table. Heck, JuggerBaby will start clearing the table when ze finished eating, even without being asked.
This can sometimes be inconvenient if you meant to eat it.
Toilet training
To be honest, I’d dreaded starting toilet training but so far, with PiC taking the lead on much of it, JuggerBaby has been pretty good at telling us when ze needs to pitstop. We have a 50-75% success rate, depending on the day and level of enthusiasm.
Super cling
This may be a phase related to not feeling well but where ze once hit the ground running and didn’t look back, daycare dropoff has become a series of persuasions, mostly to remove one tentacle-like limb off my leg, or the other. PiC has no better luck unless we’re both dropping off together, then ze dismisses him with an aggressive BYEBYE and keeps a possessive hand on my knee.
My working theory is that either ze doesn’t feel well or ze doesn’t like the chaos that reigns after a certain time when all fourteen kids are running amok. The one time ze ditched me readily was when no kids had arrived yet, ze happily linked up to the teacher and literally didn’t look back.
Things we bought
Daycare lets kids take a roll of painter’s tape and stick it on the walls, windows, and fences, and this is definitely something JuggerBaby now wants to do at home.
:: Did you ever have separation anxiety as a kid? Or an unnatural addiction to office and stationery supplies?
You win on the teeth. I can’t get mine to even look at a brush, I have to hold him down and try to get a finger in there with a washcloth..
As for the clingy stage, Baby Bun went through that and it was hell. He still clings to me sometimes. It is just normal once they realize you are a separate person and you are not them…. he used to do the same thing at daycare dropoffs.. I would just peel him off my leg, close the door in his face gently (watching his fingers of course) and wave bye bye with a huge smile (genuine relief) and leave.
15 minutes was the standard sob time. He stopped crying after a week or two at daycare when he realized that was JUST THE WAY IT WAS and Mommy was not going to stay if he cried longer.
Playgroup is another story… 6 months.
He got the hang of it….
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I should have told you this but I trained zir like a puppy – checked zir mouth every day, told zir to say “ahhh” and rub zir gums. When teeth started coming in and it hurt, I’d rub zir gums. So when teeth were in, it wasn’t a huge leap to brushing teeth, especially when I let zir practice by brushing my teeth first.
The clingy thing SUCKS. Ze never used to do this!
{chortle!} This is why when you get old, Other People’s Children become amazingly adorable, brilliant, and wonderful: because when they are Other People’s Children, you don’t have to put them to bed. 🙂
Hang in there with the toothbrush routine. I folded wayyyyyy too easily, with the result that M’hijito showed up for his first dentist’s visit with a mouthful of cavities. Well…my fault plus the fact that Beechnut at the time was selling unadulterated sugar water as “pure fruit juice.”
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Other People’s Children were great when I was young! Because they still weren’t coming home with me and I had energy.
Oh goodness, the things we didn’t know about fruit juice back in the day.
My first was ready to stay anywhere by the time he was two. The second had to be held all the time and would not go willingly anywhere without me. The third just wanted to be like the big kids and wanted me to go away at her first dentist visit. The third mostly chewed on a tooth brush with a rice sized piece of toothpaste. The first clenched his teeth and the second spit out the toothpaste and toothbrush. Wait until your third. It is much easier to get them to do things when there are others finally trained to comply without drama.
My youngest is almost 42. Just last year, I found a drawing she did behind the door when she was two. She did it down near the floor above the baseboard and close to the hinge side. I still have toys and furniture with stickers all over them. I was upset then, but it is precious now. I did leave the stickers on the mirrors in their rooms because they took a lot of pride in their additions. If three kids had a roll of painters’ tape, my house would be wrapped up so tight I could not function. I never heard of that.
Some days there is a child to entertain. I have lots of painters’ tape I can sacrifice for peace.
My youngest started following me to the door after I put her to sleep. I never could figure out how she did that without me hearing her. She was convinced Indians were going to get her. I tried everything to convince her there were no Indians to get her. She slept in what should have been the formal dining room because I wanted her downstairs near me when she was a baby. Finally, I promised her I would sit right by her door where my chair was anyway and I would not let any Indians get her. That did the trick. After five nights of worrying about Indians and my putting her back to bed and getting upset with her, she finally could sleep in peace.
Never try to convince a child there are not monsters in the closet or under the bed or Indians coming in the windows. I took a spray bottle and put in a little vinegar in the water and my friend sprayed the closet every night for her child. He got right into bed once the “monster spray” was applied.
If you rock your child or hold her before bed or even if you cuddle in bed. Try what I did–stroked eyebrows from inside to out. She closed her eyes each time and finally did not open them. That takes about five minutes or less. Of course, I did not do this until the third child.
Sorry to go on and on.
It sure does seem easier when there are other kids around, especially if they care about the other kids.
That’s so cute, I do see where parents have left the signs of their little ones years after they’ve flown the nest and it gets me right in the heart.
What a neat monster trick! I’ll be keeping this for when that time comes! Oh the eyebrows trick is wonderful too, thanks so much for sharing.
Good luck! Everything will get better with time.
We had a really difficult time with sleep separation as well. It’s a lot better now that he is 6, but he still come into our room occasionally. Last night he came at 3am and crawled into bed with us. I had to leave and go sleep in his bed. Our bed is too small for 3 people now. Never ending…
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Thank you! I know it’ll get better in the long run. It’s just a matter of time before we miss this stage, isn’t it?