My kid and notes from Year 5
March 16, 2020
If you’d like to join me in helping Lakota families and/or rural libraries this year, please read this post. Over 6 weeks in 2019, we raised $2669.94 for the Lakota families, touching 27 lives. What can we do in 2020?
Current total: Lakota, $640.74; Rural libraries, $321.62.
Milestone birthday
WHO SAID JB COULD TURN 5??
I’m appalled!
364 days of saying “nope you’re not having a party” later and guess what? They didn’t have a party. Guess what else? They are just fine. We did special pancakes with whipped cream, and they got to wear a special birthday outfit, and off to school they went.
We did go out to dinner as a family that evening as well.
Responsibilities
We’ve been building JB’s stable of skills gradually. They should probably have set chores but since we don’t have set days for doing specific housework, I find it more helpful to have them have sub-chores. When I do laundry, they are responsible for bringing me hangers and putting away the clothes I’ve hung up. They are also responsible for hanging up clothes when called upon to do so. They clear the table before meals, set the table or help with cooking depending on the day, and clear after meals. Sometimes they are responsible for just finding an independent activity and leaving me in peace so I can work or cook. They are also still being trained to train Sera – working on appropriate reactions to doggy misgaps and using the appropriate commands to the situation instead of just yelling angrily.
The worst thing they have ever said to me
It isn’t “I hate you” or “you’re the meanest!” (I don’t think this one has happened yet, and yes, yes I am). They said: I don’t LIKE saving.
YOU ARE NO CHILD OF MINE.
I jokingly disowned them on the spot.
But then we talked about what it was about saving they didn’t like, with the assumption that they were just being a contrary little turkey and didn’t actually know what it means. We talked about why we save: so we can have dreams (them: I don’t LIKE dreams!). Do you like adventures? YES. Do you want to go visit Auntie and Cousins out of state when I go, and explore their property, and run with the dogs, and pet the cats, and climb trees? DOES THAT SOUND LIKE FUN?
That’s why we save. So we can have adventures. (And food and water and heat but those are more exciting to old fogies like us.)
Who and what am I?
JB said something one day that told me that they saw me primarily as a mommy who made a baby.
A small voice wondered: have I failed as a feminist that my child?
A friend pointed out that there’s no way they could grasp what I do for a living so there’s no associating me with my professional identity. Not like a doctor, or a painter, or a vocalist. But it made me start this conversation with them: what am I? What are you?
I am a person who loves and takes care of dogs. I am a reader. I am a cook. I am a person who cares for their friends and family.
JB provided: a cleaner, a chef, a helper. It’s true. I think when my time comes, I’d be proud to be remembered as a helper.
They named themselves: a singer, a dancer, an artist, a beader, a reader, and many other silly things like a broccoli head.
I want them to know that we are complex and we are more than the one thing we did in life. We are more than our professions, we are more than just our relationships with other people. We are individuals and we get to define ourselves.
Precious Moments
Telling me about the story they were “reading”:
JB: His helpers are all around him!
me: Is that good?
JB: No! They are trying to make them DIE. Because how would they get away with it?
JB: Momma, did you make this curry?
Me: yep!
JB: YOU SAVED MY LIFE.
Me: š
JB: Why am I not done? I’m really frustrated about me. UGHHHHHHHH.
JB: Do you know what would be scary? A bridge with eyeballs for hair!
You have to be prepared for the twists
JB: My leg huuuuurts.
PiC: Was that because of your fall?
JB: YES.
PiC: It’ll get better. You’ll also learn to be more coordinated if you slow down when you run and keep your feet under you, as you get older.
Me, whispering to PiC: UNLESS YOU’RE ME.
PiC *nods*
JB: I could get hurt! Or DADDY could get hurt. He could get so hurt he could not see us anymore.
Me, seeing the death talk coming again: Yeah that’s true, we never want Daddy to get so hurt he couldn’t see us anymore.
JB: He could DIE.
Me: That would be a very bad hurt.
JB: THEN we would have to tell his friends that he DIED.
Me: That’s true, if he died, we would need to tell his friends.
JB: Because he couldn’t go RUNNING with them anymore!
PiC: Wait what?? What’s going on? This feels relevant to me.
STILL talking about pain:
JB: did it hurt when you got me out of your tummy?
Me: Yes.
JB: Ouch!
Me: But at least that pain went away. Not like my sick ouchies.
JB: Those ouchies are bad! I’m gonna be mean to it! Get away ouchies, don’t punch my mommy! You’re bad! I’m going to yell at it until it leaves.
Me: Sure, see if that works.
JB: Get out, pain! Get out, mister! Punch punch punch! Look it worked!
::
Five, five, five! How can that be? My little one turned five a week or so ago. What is it about that birthday that seems so much bigger than the others that came before it?
One Frugal Girl recently posted…How Many Pennies in a Roll? The Value of Coin Rolling
We blinked! It’s the kindergarten hump, for me, that makes five such a big deal.
Amazing how quickly the time passes, right? Five is hard to imagine, but Baby AF is already almost two and it feels like maybe a couple months.
I love the idea of sub-chores and may borrow that idea for Baby AF. He’s usually down to be involved in anything we do, and he certainly could help get hangars for us when folding laundry instead of his normal thing (unfolding the laundry).
Done by Forty recently posted…It’s Been a Minute
JB has been doing sub-chores since Baby AF’s age so it’s a great way to keep them engaged and feeling like they’re a vital part of the family IMO. I could be totally wrong too but so far it works for us š