My kids and notes: Year 8.2
April 11, 2023
Life with JB
Fancy birthday parties are back. JB recently attended a birthday party at a place that charges $500/2 hours for the venue and services. Parents provide the food.
PiC texted me notes and pictures from the party. I’m estimating the party ran about $800. It was for two siblings, so in a rare turn, they saved a bit since this spread would have cost the same whether it was for one or two kids. The siblings have enough overlap between their friend groups for it to work. I have niblings where the siblings are 2 days and 6 years apart so there’s no overlap and the parents have to do two separate events in the same week.
It’s not like we were super frugal for JB’s birthday, I just opted out of having to host 18 kids for the price. We spent $300 on delicious Mediterranean food because we were mostly feeding adults and I wanted enough leftovers to send food home with our guests. Food is love.
Ain’t nothing but the truth (in my life) ⬇️
JB’s current exercise of their independence is insisting that they bathe Smol most nights. Not at all sure why this particular thing struck them as The Thing To Do but whatever. We let them do showers mostly supervised, no standing water for anyone to drown in, and Smol seems to enjoy the sibling time as much as JB enjoys being in charge in a tangible way.
Life with Smol Acrobat
Like JB’s early years, we haven’t done anything beyond some cake for Smol Acrobat’s birthdays so far and I don’t imagine we intend to change that for a while. JB’s first party was age 4. Then the pandemic happened so even if we were willing to do a 6th birthday, it couldn’t happen.
I’m curious to see how Smol feels about parties if and when they start for them. If I remember correctly, the kids start having hosted parties around age 3 in daycare and they’re “invite the whole classroom” affairs. It’ll be interesting to see how this changes (or not) in these days of COVID.
JB was an enthusiastic participant in parties at this age but they were also always making friends anywhere and everywhere they went. Smol has just started making friends but they seem to really be enjoying the small pack they run in at daycare. It’s funny seeing them with humans their age and size, I’m too accustomed to them being the tiny odd one out.
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This describes my life with JB and Smol Acrobat not sleeping pretty damn well.
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Smol is now very into taking their COVID tests. They ask for a rapid test every time they see a box out. Since they are the most exposed at daycare, I always oblige the request even if it’s not at the most convenient time.
Pupdate
Sera has been so gassy these past few months. I forgot to ask the vet about this at her check-up.
She remains exceptionally clingy when the kids are loud. I think she’s really nervous about not being able to tell if they’re playing or in pain or in danger. Their shrieks really do sound the same, no matter the cause.
I suspect she’s also conflicted. Her reaction to JB yelling is to hide with me. Her reaction to Smol yelling or crying is to check on them. When they’re both yelling, she has no idea what to do.
Precious Moments
JB: Smol!! Swim lesson! Put it back!
Smol: ??
JB, deepens voice: PUT IT BACK.
Smol *chirps*: Back?
JB: GOoooooooo!
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Smol is being screechily uncooperative in the cleaning up so JB is retaliating by singing “Smol is a baby and will be a baby foreverrrrrr Smol graduated from baby school but they’ll always be a BABYYYYYY….!”
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There was a joke in All American where Spencer tells his mom they’re going to celebrate her and she needs to be ok with or else he and Dylan will “mom” her to death. Then they start: Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom.
1. I very much relate to that.
2. Smol is doing it to JB now!
Smol: JJ!
JB: What?
Smol: JJ!
JB: What?
Smol: JJ!
JB: What?
Smol: JJ!
JB: What??? I’m RIGHT HERE??
Smol: JJ!
Muahahahahah. That’s right. Annoy each other for a change.
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JB: What do you like?
Smol: Eat!
JB: You like to eat?
Smol: Yah.
JB: What else?
Smol: Bood!
JB: Food?
Smol: YAH.
JB: That’s the same thing!
Smol: …….
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Smol, rearranging books in the shelf and having them fall over: space!! Space!!
Sorry kiddo, I don’t think you can order books to give you space. I mean, you can TRY but uh…
I have never understood spending that kind of money just for…. show. One of my friends lives in Austin and everyone she knows does that. She spent most of 2021 here and we all do pizza and cake at our favorite park ($100 tips, please just bring a card) and apparently it was a revelation.
My oldest just turned 14 and I sent him and 4 friends to the movies ($45) and made them brigadeiros ($7). Low expectations keep everyone happy!
I can’t tell if it was mainly for show, or if the mom couldn’t say no to the kids, or if SHE just enjoys throwing parties like this but this party felt pretty extravagant in terms of the endless stream of snacks the kids enjoyed. But boy oh boy did they enjoy it! So it was worth it to the kids XD
I do recall one party thrown by a former friend (for unrelated though sort of related reasons) for their 3 year old where they paid ~$700 for a fully decorated fondant cake that WAS primarily for show because it didn’t taste good and they shoveled most of it into the garbage at the end of the party. *That* made my frugal heart hurt. If I’m paying that kind of money for a cake, it better be the best cake I’d ever tasted! (Which, I do realize, is not necessarily the aim of a fancy decorated fondant cake but it’s most certainly MY aim when buying cake.)
Personally I love low expectations. But also we love having low key get togethers with our friends so it’s nice that JB is still cool with their birthdays being a giant play date / get together with good kid and adult friends.
I don’t think the birthday parties for the preschooler circuit are just for show. They’re fun for the kids and if someone can easily afford $400/kid, why not? I remember when McDonald’s started doing birthday parties in our town (my sister’s generation)– prior to that they had to be completely organized by the parents. It was a huge revelation for my mom– no planning, no clean-up, adults other than her there to supervise. (Also air conditioning and no concerns about rain.) Even though we didn’t have a ton of money, it was well worth it to her to pay extra for someone else to deal with everything.
For people who would rather do the time vs. money trade-off in the other direction, more power to them. And for people who don’t want to do outside birthday parties at all, they shouldn’t feel pressured. Sending cupcakes to daycare is generally enough celebration for little kids.
nicoleandmaggie recently posted…Replacing two kitchen drawers
Yeah as much as I can afford it, objectively, I struggle a LOT with the idea of spending that kind of money for a party. It’s the number, honestly. It’s not that I don’t think there’s value in being able to hand off the set up and clean up and all, because that’s nice! But of course the one time we did this, we did a hell of a lot of work ourselves too with the food and desserts. That’s totally on us, of course, that’s what happens when you co-host a party with PiC. So it feels TO ME like man, that’s not worth doing all the work AND paying all that money.
It’s too bad careless parents ruined it for everyone. We can’t send treats to the daycare anymore because an idiot parent who was told to check the ingredients THREE TIMES and supply the complete list of ingredients for approval still supplied an incomplete ingredient list. They ended up sending a kid to the hospital because they forgot to list a KEY ALLERGEN INGREDIENT. I’m still mad at that parent for traumatizing that toddler.
I don’t care if it’s not my kid that suffered, no kid should have suffered that with all the checks in place. How do you forget to write down “eggs”???
We’ve only ever been allowed to send in pre-packaged store-bought food with ingredients listed, never homemade. That’s terrible about the toddler.
I don’t think $800 (especially $400/kid) is a whole lot of money for a lot of dual income tech couples in the Bay area who bought their houses back in 2008 and are still paying low property taxes on homes that have more than doubled in value.
nicoleandmaggie recently posted…Replacing two kitchen drawers
Just imagine paying NO property taxes is some countries in Europe, no matter the size or the value of the house you live in! You buy your house and then for the rest of your life there is no worry at all whether you’ll get kicked out to curb by your local goverment if you happen not to have money for the tax in any given year, which can easily happen in retirement or sickness.
I wish the same to all Americans! No one should be in danger of becoming homeless, especially after spending so much money on a home (they are never cheap). Not sure what you can do though. Vote it in?
True!
We are dual income NOT tech, and we pay four figures a month for property tax, so it hits our wallets differently. Nice to daydream about being that kind of wealthy/comfortable though.
Fair enough; I have been to any number that *were* for show but I also appreciate trading money for time and effort!