My kids and notes: Year 8.7
September 19, 2023
Life with JB
Living with the ultra-extrovert that is JB has shaken up my approach to social life. On the other hand, it hasn’t made me any BETTER at it. It’s confusing when parents suggest that we should set up a play date for our kids, then fumble or punt the scheduling so thoroughly that it doesn’t end up happening at all. PiC was the one in charge of setting up a playdate with parents in JB’s class last year and honestly it felt like their offer was one of those disingenuous “let’s do lunch sometime” things that are associated with LA stereotypes. (I’ve heard of it but never experienced it in LA.) I ran into the mom this year and she offhandedly offered that she remembered it fell through when she was traveling a lot last year, we should try again! But at this point, it really feels like the ball should be in their court after they’ve cancelled twice.
I worried our longtime friends might feel that way, I was due to meet their new puppy in January but have been sick on and off all year so much that I haven’t been up to setting up a meetup. Thankfully I finally got a treatment, they read my mind about finally getting together, and we visited on Labor Day weekend.
Their extrovertism did make me really proud, though. A young kid we didn’t know at the daycare center was asking PiC about JB’s whereabouts. It turned out they were asking because the kid is very shy. JB was the first kid at camp to walk right up to them, introduce themselves, and invite them to play. Several weeks later, that kid is still thinking of them. That was lovely. We told them we were proud of them for including other kids.
Life with Smol Acrobat
Smol Acrobat has started narrating their actions. I can reach bowl! I take one. I eat blackberry. Big one!
This won’t be cute in several years but it is right now when it’s a wonder that they’re finally saying real words and sentences.
Pupdate
Drat. I added sardines to Sera 🐶’s diet, along with some rawhide chews as a treat and one or both have retriggered her Gas Attacks.
Precious Moments
Smol Acrobat squeals.
What’s up?
Smol Acrobat mimes sniffing. “Sera niff me!”
She sniffed you?
YAH.
That’s how dogs check in. She’s asking if you’re ok.
No! Not ok!
Oh? Why not?
Be-tuz. Be-tuuuuuz…hmm. Be-tuzzzz.. hmm. Be-tuuuuzzzz… hmmm. She niff me!
You’re not ok because she sniffed you to see if you were ok??
YAH.
That seems… circular.
*****
Smol Acrobat got a sand timer for saying: “p’ay a widdle bit. timer go off, das it!”
It ran out and of course they didn’t notice so I pointed out there was no more sand in the top. Timer’s up.
They look at it closely. “Yeah. No sand.” Turns it over. “Dere! Sand!”
🤦🏻♀️😅
*****
Smol Acrobat, please put those away.
Ohhhhhhh DAS WHY.
What?
Daaaaas whyyyyy.
…. what?
*****
JB thanked me for always being there for them (internally: I dunno, not sure I am or that I deserve thanks for what I do manage. Then I had a quick mental spiral into why they feel the need to thank me for that because they barely remember to thank PiC for taking them on all kinds of fun adventures) and I managed to pull myself out of my head long enough to reply: “You’re welcome. You’re my baby.”
They quickly come back: “But also Smol Acrobat!”
Well yes. Them too.
It’s okay to be a different parent than PIC! You work hard to be a good parent to JB (er..and Smol) and clearly you model appreciation if they’re using it on you.
My sister has recently started thanking me for very specific actions and I’ve been very taken aback by it. Not that I didn’t do a favor, and the appreciation is appropriate (and nice to hear), it’s just not part of our dynamic. Turns out she’s been working on expressing appreciation to her team and it’s bleeding over into the rest of her life – ha! So maybe JB is being taught appreciation at school. Also maybe that’s a muscle of my own I could work on.
It’s interesting to observe how that verbal appreciation feels when it lands, particularly if we’re not used to it!
But I think it is something I could do better, too.
Bethh’s reaction is in line with mine: if JB’s school is doing any social-emotional teaching, it may be that thanking you for being there for them is an echo of them learning in school that it’s important to say/do good towards the people you love. I have gotten some surprisingly adult-sounding thanks and praise-phrasing from my kid. And some super-sweet notes, which I plan to hold onto for the rest of my life.
Mind you, I have also been being told that saying things like “no craft projects before school” is mean, and how dare I oppose her rights? Because apparently standing up for your rights and telling a person “you’re being mean” is also a part of the social-emotional teaching. Or at least how she’s interpreting it. She’s been hearing more about the distinction between “mean” and “parent telling you something you don’t like” than she wants lately.
The second grade was doing weekly lessons in how to be a good citizen / human, I’m not sure if that’s bubbling up this year.
HAH, yeah there’s a lot of balancing of what is standing up for yourself and what is your parent being a parent.
My youngest is super sociable and made a new best bud at the pool this summer. I find it bewildering but mostly charming, except for the one week when I ended up with a total of six spare children at my house (we are in walking distance of the school so kids just tell their parents and then come home with another kid). She also never wants to leave the pool/party/event we’re at until well after I need to go hide in a closet.
My youngest likes to tell me I’m her favorite mom and I tell her she’s my favorite daughter (she is my only daughter).
I do like their ability to make new friends but it’s a very puzzling phenomenon to watch happen. They too were the “stay until you shut down the place” kid at parties.
I refrain from telling JB that I’m their only mom when they say I’m the “best mom”. XD
“This won’t be cute in several years but it is right now when it’s a wonder that they’re finally saying real words and sentences.”
Ha, this is how I feel about all the current questions about numbres and incessant counting of everything!
I love these posts btw, never stop them!
NZ Muse recently posted…Where are you making do?
JB is CONSIDERABLY less charmed by this right now because “using real words and sentences” also includes repeating every single thing we say to THEM. Which is usually repeating us chastising them to go do whatever thing we’ve already asked them to do, three times before.