Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (225)
September 23, 2024
Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 5, Day 159: COVID vaccines are being administered nearby but they still don’t have them for 5 and under so I’m waiting til Smol Acrobat can get vaccinated so the kids can go together for moral support. PiC and I have to remember to do ours separately so we don’t have a simultaneous crash and burn like we did last fall. It was totally unexpected. We’d been relatively ok after all the prior boosters/vax after the very first round so we let our guard down for the Fall 2023 shots. JB was a champ at covering for us but I don’t want them to have to do that again.
Smol Acrobat has been sick for a few days and they finally got me this weekend. It appears to be the standard preschooler congestion/fatigue/cough/ICK virus that circulates every other week, but I tested both of us today and we’re currently negative on COVID. I’ll test again in a few. I had the luxury of being able to rest half the day Sunday because PiC took the kids, but there’s no rest on weekdays between work and school drop off and pick up and activities.
Year 5, Day 160: Operating at about 30% today, having gone to bed early but unable to sleep for physical discomfort and then unable to rest for the psychological warfare my subconscious is waging against the nightmares. PiC heard me shout in my sleep last night, I remember that waking me up too, because of some vampire-ish type of nightmare.
With 9 direct reports, someone always needs something. It gets unwieldy when it’s three somebodies all needing something at the same time. It’s not all handholding, though sometimes (and more lately because of THINGS and REASONS) it is that too. Ultimately I’ve got to make some changes in my department. I don’t love them but reality has set in, especially as at least one person is in crisis and needs me to be really present for them in a way that isn’t sustainable in the long-term the way I’m overloaded now. My hope is that we can support them through the crisis and in the meantime I will be restructuring enough so that I am prepared for future needs. I wish I could have had real support when I was grieving my mom’s sudden death or overwhelmed with my pain and fatigue issues, even if I didn’t know I needed it or how to ask for it, so I’m committed to providing it here.
Year 5, Day 161: I’m still feeling under the weather but compared to how I would normally be feeling three days into any virus (steamrollered), this isn’t nearly as bad (very mild congestion, continued fatigue). That first day of rest must have made a real difference because that’s the only difference between the last time I got sick and this. My system is overreacting to the virus today with absolutely delightful (not) mouth sores despite the antivirals, though, and that’s making eating a real trial.
I powered through so much work today in an attempt to keep the decks clear for a shorter day on Friday. We’re going to get the kids their passports and then I get to test out the online passport renewal process that just opened today for myself. Tiny squee of excitement.
Year 5, Day 162:
Trainer time! This is the third workout of the week and despite the viral things going on with me, I decided to push my limits a bit. The trainer usually gives me a range, say 3-8 lateral raises, or 2-5 pushups (modified since my wrists can’t handle that pressure). I aim for the middle of the range most of the time, hover at the bottom of the range on bad days. Since good days are far and few between, I figured that a not-bad day is good enough for attempting this. Plus I was emotionally disregulated like WOW this afternoon and the challenge felt like a good way to shake my brain loose of the crankiness. I did 20 modified pushups and 32 lateral raises with light weights. Will I be able to lift my arms tomorrow? NO ONE KNOWS.
Year 5, Day 162:
Year 5, Day 163:
