Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (235)
December 2, 2024
Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 5, Day 222: Victory! I made a really expensive and silly mistake late Friday night, buying a $200 pass for an entertainment park in entirely the wrong state for ourselves and extended family. I stressed all weekend because the site stated they were non-refundable. I did immediately email to explain the issue but couldn’t handle waiting any longer so I called this morning. In the meantime, I had purchased the correct pass on the weekend since the sale was ending on Sunday so maybe that’s why the CSR didn’t ask any questions after getting my order numbers. Huge relief.
I have so many of these little shopping mistake nightmares – usually it’s the wrong size or horror of horrors: wrong day or time for flights. Now I can add WRONG STATE to that paranoia.
The storm systems let up this weekend but the drippy gloom was back in force today. I’m hoping that it’ll be nicer tomorrow.
We took two items off my Black Friday sale list: the blanket (quilt fixed that problem!), next size up boots for Smol Acrobat (hand me downs for the next size up just landed!).
Year 5, Day 223: The phrase “fighting off this virus” doesn’t fit. I regret to inform you that choosing to rest most days last week wherever I could squeeze it in, instead of squeezing in more work, seems to have helped alleviate my sore throat and cough far more than my usual stubborning my way through. My feeling-like-roadkill meter is much lower this week than it was last week. I’m not totally out of the woods yet, but am starting to feel optimistic that I may feel up to our Thanksgiving Day cooking. My legs ache like death today, though, and I can’t put my finger on why.
Social coping and boundaries: I was delighted to provide a dear friend with a tool that another dear friend inadvertently taught me. When asked “are you busy on Xday?” your answer is not yes or no, it’s “why?” This should be deployed all the time to head off being voluntold oh good you’re free to run them to the store or the kids need you to pick them up or can’t you come clean my kitchen. All things that a boundary crasher could certainly choose to deal with for themselves but why would they if they can guilt you do the thing they don’t want to do. I also reminded them that they can always be busy. Plans to be a lump on the floor with the dog are still plans.
Year 5, Day 224: My Sterilite storage bins have arrived!! They were 25% off which isn’t great but they weren’t terribly expensive to begin with sooooo good enough for me! I’ve designated one for office and craft supplies, another for holiday gifts; two for donations to keep them safe and clean while I accumulate during either decluttering or organizing dropped off donations. Another one for hand me down next size up clothes for Smol Acrobat.
Year 5, Day 225: What a day. On the one hand, no work! And much of the food prep was done earlier this week so we were puttering around cooking the main dishes and putting the finishing touches on the last side dishes. Yay!
On the other hand, wow, were the kids moody and difficult and how many times in a single day can I sit down and have a serious talk about their rudeness with them?? Too Many. Sigh. There are days when parenting feels extra impossible because it’s completely unclear what the right thing to do is. Mostly it was JB today performing at extraordinary levels of pingpong between fine and super not fine. Smol Acrobat was their normal, and irritating, level of difficult and moody.
We had three long talks and nothing was resolved except for my making it very clear that whatever you’re feeling, your actions are your choices – you don’t get to behave like the Abomination because your feelings were hurt. In this case, that specially means: didn’t like your choice being corrected. They didn’t like being told that ignoring my direct requests multiple times was rude, they didn’t like being promoted to admit that they shouldn’t destroy Smol Acrobat’s tower even by accident.
JB’s constant (absurd) grievance that we don’t hold the two of them to the same standards for chores apparently does not extend to expectations of considerate behavior. They’re perfectly happy when Smol Acrobat’s behavior is correctly corrected, but when they are corrected for the exact same offense? Storm clouds and stomping and “(you) like Smol Acrobat better than me!!!” The number of times I’ve had to bite back the snarky “that’s not true because I currently don’t like either of you equally” doesn’t bear thinking about. It’s never made it past my filter but such are my grumpy parent thoughts bubbling beneath the surface. Which makes me feel guilty later. They aren’t bad kids! But the constant drama of harping on wanting equality only when it advantages them (lower expectations, fewer chores), and the sporadic bursting into temper tantrums when it means they get called on the carpet for choices that sucked, makes me oh so tired.
We did have an amazing dinner (foodwise) and they managed to get over themselves enough to eat it. But we sent both kids to bed without dessert. We adults ate half the cake ourselves – we earned it.
Year 5, Day 226: We inadvertently spent most of the day exploring bits of the city transit system. The sheer number of both commercial and residence property “available to lease” signs was surprising. The Macy’s storefront was done up with lights on every window, and the unsettlingly tall Christmas tree was front and center. I made eye contact with a large dog inside a store and we mutually and silently agreed that he should come and put his (giant) head in my hands for cuddles and praise. We had a lovely moment. I normally always ask the owner for permission before approaching their dog but this pup was independently conducting eyeball interviews and it simply couldn’t be helped.
There’s a clock ticking on my ordering gifts for the end of the year. Everything / anything I still need must be ordered by midweek in the first week of December so that I can have everything squared away before the 20th. That’s a personal deadline: I HATE doing anything holiday related at the very last minute, especially discovering gaps in my gifting supplies or leaving out any sets of niblings because there are so MANY now that even with the best lists and best of intentions, things get jumbled at times. I did discover Bookoutlet.com which carries bargain books. They fill their inventory with “special buys, publishers’ excess inventory, and store returns” so the selection is hit or miss, but I found a reasonable pile of books to gift the niblings for this year and a couple books for next year as well.
We have a list of Black Friday related intended purchases but I think we’re only going to manage a few of them. A replacement laptop from Costco and a Microsoft license. Books. I was going to get new underwear finally but the sales failed me so these will have to manage another year. Couple of security things. Maybe passing on the Svaha sale this year as a gratuitous thing because I don’t need more clothes.
Yesterday I was browsing the Bas Bleu website and saw a tee shirt with a design that instantly made me think of you –
Life Goal
Pet All the Dogs
Sounds like you are making good progress on that goal!
That is delightful! 😀 Thank you for sharing.
My sister visited the niblings recently and apparently they both have ALL the feelings and ping-ponging attitude. So it’s probably the age/stage of life. I think it is a billion times reasonable to not particularly like a child’s behavior on a given day (week, month, year?) – you love them still!
I’m glad resting was actually noticeably helpful. Perhaps Note To Self taped to the cold medicine box will help you remember 😀
Are they around the same age? I can’t tell if I worry too much, too little, or just enough.
I think I’d need it taped to my forehead XP
I’m so glad that you were able to fix your mistake relatively easily. I always check and double check things too – but when I’m tired, or trying to do three things at once – plane tickets for the wrong day etc. etc.
Thank you – it was a huge relief that they were willing to process a refund without argument.
I would totally but amusement park tickets for the wrong state. I spend my whole life waiting to find out I did something like that. I’m always waiting for it. Always.
My kids are like that too, but more so my younger one. His sister gets to do everything and he gets to do nothing. We get on his case for stuff she gets away with. Yada yada yada. It’s always the same. And yes, he doesn’t have a phone yet, because she is 14 and had to wait until she was .13 and he is only 11. He’ll probably get one before she did, just like he got her AppleWatch at 11 (in 5th grade) when she didn’t get one until 12 (in 7th grade). I am not the younger sibling, and neither is my husband, so we struggle with it. It drives me nuts though. So nuts.
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