Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (249)
March 10, 2025
Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 5, Day 316: I don’t know what’s for dinner but I DO know what’s for dessert: a delightful little apple crisp we found at the farm store. This is going to be great! We visited a small town over the weekend and played tourist which meant I looked for yummy new foods to bring home like a fresh artichoke lemon pesto.
We also made a quick grocery run, so added to the pantry: beef and fireroasted tomatoes for my future chili-making (maybe I could throw this together tomorrow?), a mirepoix for a future chicken pot pie (might be able to manage this midweek if I can defrost the chicken and cut it up, sure hope I still have pie crust in the freezer). I’ve been thinking about cooking these things for weeks and have been slowly acquiring ingredients one at a time and freezing them. There are three poblano and Anaheim peppers already diced and frozen ahead of use. I just need to some green onions and the chili can start to come together pretty quickly.
We might eat well this week! (Fingers crossed)
Sad update: JB asked for tomato soup and grilled cheese for dinner. They picked a new to us tomato soup, Rill Foods’ Umatilla Tomato Soup Mix, and it was the worst tomato soup we’ve ever had. It was bitter and kind of gritty. Yuck. We couldn’t even finish our first bowls, every bite was awful. I tried to doctor it with sour cream but it was unsalvageable.
I speculated that my wicked heartburn before dinner was trying to warn me off it entirely but I was too foolish to listen.
Year 5, Day 317: I jinxed us. We did not eat well. Also, my heartburn turned into an internal wildfire. It woke me multiple times and by morning I wasn’t sure that I wasn’t experiencing some kind of heart problem. The advice line nurse and an ER doc thought there were enough concerning symptoms I should come in to get checked out. Sigh. Two hours of tests, IV drip and copious meds before the enflamed vise-like band around my chest and upper back eased up enough I could breathe again. The x-ray, bloodwork, and EKG all came back normal so as always, we have no idea what my body is doing and why. My (physician) relative speculated on a few other possible diagnoses, I’ll follow up on those ideas with my primary care, while I try to figure out how to cope with this horrible burning pain. And I’m completely exhausted.
A Bsky mutual gave me a useful list of rules they follow for their heartburn, and I backed away from the calcium carbonate Mylanta this evening in case that really is just making things worse. It was administered with lidocaine this morning and the heartburn came back with a vengeance this evening. Sigh. I had such high hopes. Call me … I don’t know what to call it but I pulled out chicken to defrost anyway in case I might be able to cook it later this week.
Year 5, Day 318: I don’t know how optimistic people function in life. I know a few people whose attitude and approach to life is “I always decide to have a good day.” And things turn out reasonably well for them! Meanwhile I say “2025 is going to be a little less shitty! I made a plan!” and then the fates cackle and kick my teeth in. What am I doing wrong? I’m referring to work life and life in the US in general, but also in specific, my health this year.
Yesterday’s ordeal kicked off muscle aches at a level I haven’t experienced in years, unbearable aches that drove me out of bed because I couldn’t stand laying there and hurting anymore. I had some hazy desperate thought of walking it off, maybe. That did not work. PiC attempted to comfort me and that helped a little bit and I was able to get a little sleep but honestly, my status is roughly “death warmed over”.
There’s a bitter irony in my having written that and then getting a text from my friends from four jobs back. Our former coworker T, who I didn’t know was battling cancer, died. We weren’t close but we cared about each other when we worked together and I’m kind of numb.
Year 5, Day 319: Today was a hell of a slog at work. But. While it wasn’t good, it was better. I’m still in a lot of pain but:
I managed to locate the possible ant entry point in JB’s room and put down bait.
I pulled out the defrosted chicken thighs, pondering on the premium we pay for boneless meat because if we didn’t, I could never cook at all, and cut them into chunks (5 minutes). My recipes are stretched across 2-6 days as it is and sometimes I still can’t cook before my ingredients go off.
I came back after a long break and separated the onions out of the mirepoix. Boiled the celery and carrots briefly, then boiled the chicken cubes briefly. Set them aside to cool. I pulled the frozen pie crusts out to defrost. Tomorrow I’ll make the roux. There’s no time and no energy for that today, not if I’m going to make it through dinner, bath and bedtime. JB’s been wanting me to make a chicken pot pie for over a year and it’s taken me this long to attempt it again.
I’d defrosted too much chicken the rest of the thighs go in an adobo chicken marinade. Thankfully it takes more effort to find the ingredients than it does to put together the marinade. They’ll cook tomorrow.
Then it hit me tonight: T died. And so is my mentor who passed suddenly last January. So is my last dog, Sera. A long-time friendship died about this time last year. A huge seismic shift for the worse happened at work this time last year. This country elected the worst shitbag last November and let that into the White House this January and it’s been nothing but chaos since.
This has been such a painful fourteen months. I thank therapy and meds and PiC’s support for keeping me going but the bigger surprise is that my body didn’t cave earlier.
Year 5, Day 320: Money things I’m stiiiiillllll waiting on: our tax filing. Confirmation of any raise for me this year. Confirmation of my bonus amount. I’m trying to be patient but everything seems to be delayed for one unknown reason or another and that’s a bit of a frustration.
PiC got his percentage, that’ll be a modest increase. With how much I’ve increased our direct aid, I’d hoped for more. Also to keep pace with the cost of living but I’m glad he got anything at all, we never take that for granted in this economy and political environment. We really don’t know how long we’ll keep our jobs in the face of this administration so I’m doing my best to balance self-preservation planning and supporting the vulnerable in our communities.
At least we had the adobo chicken ready to cook tonight, I didn’t have any brain left by the end of today. This week was really a deep dive into a deep hole of BLEH.
