My kids and notes: Year 10
April 9, 2025
Life with JB
Ten and a half years ago, our agreement on division of labor with JB was that PiC would be the fun parent and I would be the tough parent. We still divide duties along those lines now. Not for discipline, as it turns out, we both discipline equally.
I schedule all the medical stuff and school stuff and fill out all the forms. He schedules and handles all the playdates and library trips and adventures. This works for us. The fun stuff takes so much more energy that I don’t have. Also I like filling out forms. Maybe not 27 forms in a row, which daycare requires, but most forms.
JB’s mad at me because every time I talk about helping out someone, usually we’re talking about people who have needs in the hundreds and I’m pitching in $25-150 depending. They want to give away their savings. I’m opposed to that because you shouldn’t touch your savings for giving away. At the same time, I don’t want to stifle the desire to help others. We’re talking about compromising by budgeting this into the allowance divvying up (currently split between saving and spending) and they’re mad, that I vetoed giving 50%. They do have a point that all their needs and most wants ARE met. I just want them to be practicing the skills and developing the habit of securing your own oxygen mask.
Life with Smol Acrobat
Rather than dropping their midday naps, Smol Acrobat has really come to embrace them. On the one hand, I’m glad they are ready and willing to declare they are tired and need a rest. They physically still do need the naps, they’re a wreck by 5 pm without a nap. On the other hand, it’s a bit confusing. They’re well into year 4, I don’t mind the naps/need for naps on the weekends but it sure makes weekdays hard because they have trouble falling asleep at daycare. Which means most weekdays end with zombie SmolAc.
Zombie SmolAc is NOT good company. Zombie SmolAc is cranky as hell.
Precious Moments
SmolAc, holding up a paper airplane: Do you know what this is? Starts wif a F! It is a Hah hah hah Hewacopter!
*****
Smol Acrobat is still cracking themselves up from JB’s success at getting everyone with the Hey (Name)! / What? / chicken butt!
They love it so much they just do the whole thing on their own now: hey mom! CHICKEN BUTT *dissolves into laughter*
*****
Me: SmolAc, wash your hair. *2 mins later* SmolAc, wash your hair.
SmolAc: Mom? You only have to say it one time and den I can do it so you can just only say it one time.
Me: I don’t have to repeat myself?
SmolAc: Yeah.
Me: I think very recent history shows that’s not true.
*****
JB: What will you do when your teeth fall out?
SmolAc: Buy a new one.
JB: No, you can’t!
I really don’t know what kind of answer JB was hoping for here!
*****
SmolAc: I want to go to movie night!
Me: You can go to movie night.
SmolAc: But not you?
Me: I go to shower.
SmolAc: Okay!
That sounds like a great problem to have with JB! DC1 mainly hoards and occasionally buys expensive music libraries (for composing). DC2 mostly gets art supplies and manga related things. We haven’t done anything to encourage giving or even really discussed it. :/
I would be surprised if your two didn’t come to the giving on their own, later.
What amazing impulses in JB! Clearly they are learning a lot from their parents. I can see two ways to handle this – a set percentage of their income goes to donations; OR they decide what their emergency fund needs to be, and they can donate beyond that once they’ve hit the balance. I bet there are other ways to think about it too!
I like both those ideas! One of the things I’m doing with JB is telling them that we’re experimenting to find ways that work for them, so more ways = better!
For this exact reason, our kids’ allowance is divided into spend/save/give. Essentially they get what we think is reasonable for spending, we put money in their savings accounts, and there is a “give” pool which they decide periodically how to allocate.
Middle Kid just asked us to open him a mutual fund with his unspent savings + spending money!
Oh that’s a nice set up!