By: Revanche

My kids and notes: Year 10.2

June 4, 2025

Life with JB

Tangentially related to the luxury goods issue I’m seeing discussed online: JB & I discussed perceived & actual wealth recently. They felt like their classmates make them feel poor sometimes. Maybe by comparison we are, I don’t know! I’ve definitely compared our spending choices and noticed big differences. But I’m old enough, and in control enough of our spending, for that to be idle curiosity, rather than feeling bad about our own actual wealth vs their perceived wealth.

I pointed out to JB that real wealth gives you choices and the “right” choices will vary from family to family. Perceived wealth matters in some situations but it’s been a long while since it mattered in our lives.

Our choices revolve around our family traditions and helping folks, though we don’t advertise the latter to anyone offline. Folks online know we do this stuff because we rally the online community to help.

I also like to err on the side of scruffy-presenting because I like to be underestimated and also it’s revealing to me if people treat you differently when they think you’re poorer than they are.

We don’t own luxury brands (except my inherited Hermes scarf that I never wear b/c I’m QUITE sure I can’t pull it off) because we don’t value them or what they signal. Their signaling is quite the opposite of what I want to communicate. Also they’re not sufficiently greater quality than any moderately well made equivalent to be worth it from a quality perspective. We use things to death because it’s better for the environment and because it’s cheaper. Both reasons are high priorities. My Swiss Army backpack and suitcase of 20+ years do the job. Neither were prohibitively expensive, they don’t scream anything at all, and they are still going strong. Ticks all my boxes.

Flash-oriented relatives think we’re poor because of this. That’s ok! I like to fly under the radar. Aside from family money trauma where it’s just prudent not to become the Family Bank, it doesn’t bring us any specific happiness to know this chef was rated such and such on this or that list. I just want to enjoy good food, have a safe home and financial stability, and be able to help folks out. I hope that these moments for JB are few and far between because we’re never going to be the people who prioritize someone else’s perception over our own happiness.

Life with Smol Acrobat

Smol Acrobat declared their favorite color: blue, pink, purple, red. And orange. And black.

Pretty sure green and yellow only got left out because they were distracted.

Pupdate

It’s going to be months before we can adopt a pup. I’m using this time to both save our pennies, and search for a good rescue. I’d like another pitbull, they’re the sweetest of misunderstood breeds, so we’re trying to locate a rescue that seems to be responsible, fosters them out and generally knows what they’re handling. We love other breeds too but they’re more popular while pits are still unfairly judged, so we want to stick with them a while. My hope is that even if the rescue isn’t local, we’ll be able to convince them to adopt to us if we find a good potential fit.

Precious Moments

Once in a looong while, I let Smol Acrobat bunk with me. It’s less frequent because they make it very hard for me to sleep. But JB has been bunking with me. So then I have two extra logs in my bed.
Ok, SmolAc, when you wake up, who do you wake up?
JB.
Right. Not me.
Because you will be vewwy tired.
YEP.

*****

SmolAc, whining: Can I have dis (my toasted and cream cheese laden) bagel?
Me: You can have that now only if you put away the utensils without whining right after you’re done eating.
SmolAc: what if I do dem now so I don’t haf to do dem wayter?
Me: WHAT IF! Brilliant plan, go ahead. well worth having to wait for another bagel for myself.

*****

Your teef are going to break!
What? What do you mean??
I see dem! Dey are dented! Dey will break!

*****

After an unsuccessful hide and seek, Smol Acrobat was angry that JB wouldn’t give up their best hiding spot. I offered them bubble wrap to pop as a consolation. This was great but “Baby elephant is SAD. Baby elephant can’t pop bubble wrap because her hands are not very strong. I’m giving her space because she’s sad.”

Oh, ok.

“Baby elephant, how do you feel? You’re ok? Ok, baby elephant is not sad anymore! Baby elephant wants to go wif me.”

Baby elephant: I’m still a widdle angry. About my job.

WHAT JOB, baby elephant?