My kids and notes: Year 10.10
February 25, 2026
Life with JB
Most of the schools in our area do a weeklong sleepaway camp and it’s time for me to make a decision about whether or not I’ll allow JB to go. I’ve been ignoring it for months but next month we’ll have to make the final decision.
I told JB that I needed some space to sit with it and consider. They have done a good job of leaving me alone to do just that.
I am coming to the conclusion that I hate it, I’m not ok with it, AND despite all that, I’m going to pack up my worries and keep them to myself, and relent on the issue. Trusted people, like my own GP and a local friend whose kid went a few years ago, all seem to have confidence in their ability to keep the kids safe even if I continue to mutter: I don’t know these people, why would I trust them?
I am going to be stressed and hate the anxiety it stirs up and the worrying if they are going to be ok and the amount of angst SmolAc is going to have about them being gone a whole week – that will all suck. That last one is going to be as bad as all the other things. SmolAc can barely handle JB being away from home for half a day when they’re at a birthday party, forget a whole DAY and NIGHT. We are not going to be fun to be around that week. But if they have fun and are safe, then I will deal with it.
Life with Smol Acrobat
We are navigating a rough patch with SmolAc where they don’t want to go to daycare for weeks on end. They sulk and grump about it every day, have a fine time when there, rinse and repeat. It doesn’t seem to be rooted in anything in particular. According to the teachers, they enjoy playing on their own, then enjoy playing with their peers, and then have some more solo time in the afternoon. By contrast, to hear them tell it, there are no endearing qualities about the place, not a single one. It’s weird. Not just because JB adored the place and after long tenure through daycare and summer camps but because when JB does summer camp there, they make it a point to visit SmolAc every day. Instead of making SmolAc like the place better, it seems to make them resent the times they don’t get JB with them. And maybe that’s all it is. They adore their sibling and the lack of them during the school year is unutterably disconcerting.
Precious Moments
SmolAc: can I have my car?
Me: Is it in my backpack?
SmolAc: Yes.
Me: Did you put it in my backpack?
SmolAc: Yes.
Me: Which pocket? *doubting*
SmolAc: The top one. I think. …….. That means I don’t know.
Me: Yeah kiddo, I picked up on that.
****
JB: SmolAc, can I have some help?
SmolAc: with what?
JB: cleaning my room.
SmolAc *considering silence*
JB: Remember I helped you clean your room? Now I’m cleaning my room. Can I have some help?
SmolAc: We cleaned my room, now it’s my turn to help you?
JB: yes.
SmolAc: … Ok! Give me a minute.
I was eavesdropping and was pleasantly surprised at how this went.
Oooh parenting looks so hard! It’s always that tension between protecting your precious baby, and letting them fledge in the world. It does seem like letting them try camp is a good move, if they’re eager to do it.
Obviously not a parent, but I wonder if there is some way you can help Smol through that week of withdrawal – some elaborate art project/journal they can create to give JB on return (or keep to themselves if they prefer)? Doing something that usually only JB gets to do? I sure don’t know. Too bad zonking out on valium isn’t a thing anymore.
Yeah it’s taken me literally years to get to the point of peeling my metaphorical fingers off the “absolutely not” button but we’re getting there. I’ve recently decided that they’re less (the age group) feral in 5th grade than middle school so maybe it is better for them to go at this age than later.
We’re most definitely going to need to come up with something for SmolAc for the week of no-JB though I’m coming up empty at the moment. 😬