March 26, 2009
Every single time canned vegetables are on sale for less than fifty cents a can, I buy sweet corn and green beans. Usually French cut style, but sometimes regular cut when the French is out of stock. This is a compulsion of unknown origin and rationale: I never actually open those cans and do anything with them.
For the first time in years, I decided to make something with green beans. Mac and cheese, specifically. I was contemplating a casserole, or just green beans on the side. There’s nary a can to be found, though. None! My family doesn’t eat the canned green beans, they’re never on the dinner table, and I just keep buying them. So …. what happened to all those cans??
And then there’s that little white dog running around our front yard. A cute little brown-tip eared white Chihuahua that looks just like my dearly departed Chihuahua with reversed colors who ran right up to me and stood up on my knee, wagging his tail for all it’s worth. Strange day.
January 28, 2009
Things I wish I’d done in the last five years:
1. Started a CD ladder. Even if it were just a little thing with a few hundred per step, I wish I’d realized that I wouldn’t need everything in the e-fund immediately.
2. Contributed more to the Roth: it’s the only investment I have that’s doing well in this market.
3. Applied for a job in San Diego in the comic book industry two years ago. I was afraid to take the leap and it would been really cool to have a foot in that door.
Conversely, I’m glad that I did not:
1. Go straight into grad school out of college. Not only would I be in debt, I wouldn’t have known what my professional strengths and likes/dislikes were.
2. Continue to bail out my brother. Telling my brother that his free ride was OVER might have been painful for me to say, unbelievable for him to hear, and shocking for fellow bloggers to read, but it was past time that he started to grow up. Of course, my decision alone didn’t matter until he’d hit rock bottom, but it was the right thing to do at the right time.
3. Let go of my responsibilities before I was ready, as some friends encouraged me to do. They just worried about me, but my OCD attachment to PF over the years has been a blessing in this blog, the friends I’ve made through the community and the knowledge I’m able to use and share.
While washing my hands this morning, I had two long term goals occur to me:
1. In the job after next, I would like to be earning a six figure income.
2. And I want to save half of that income. My portfolio/net worth would be SO awesome!! Muahahha…..
Anybody else reflecting on their dids and didn’ts lately? Care to share?
January 9, 2009
Another one acquaintance has succumbed to the I need to own a home NOW syndrome.
Recently engaged, she and her man have been seriously condo-hunting for a few months now, rejoicing in the fact that housing market is ripe with plums for the picking. She’s not made any PB & J declarations, but they’ve gotten pre-approval for a loan so they feel confident in their ability to secure a purchase of a short sale in the next few months before their summer wedding.
Again, in a purely hypothetical sense, if I were to be asked for my advice …. well, my mental alarms are working overtime.
I’m familiar with some aspects of their finances from a few get-togethers:
The fiance, X, is self-employed. A year into running his own business, he’s done well enough for himself that he’s able to cultivate long-term clients rather than taking every short or long term project that comes his way. That’s quite a good direction to develop. He’s made a good 5-figure income. Plus!
They both have retirement accounts – maybe not fully funded, but definitely funded. Plus!
They scaled back their entire wedding and turned it into more of a backyard affair because they didn’t have anything saved for the wedding, and didn’t want to take on another $10-15K of debt. Good move. Plus!
But, they didn’t have anything for the wedding because X spent about 20K on her ring. I’m not saying there’s a “right” amount to spend, just that they are out that much money that could have been for the wedding or their e-fund. Either way: Minus!
His ladylove, Y, is about to lose her job. She doesn’t know when, but a layoff is imminent. Minus!
Y also hasn’t had any success in landing another job that I know of, and because she’s entirely caught up in wedding planning and house-hunting, I can’t imagine that she’s devoted any time to a job search. Minus!
In my eyes, that’d be the most basic of needs in a three-priority situation like this: Find a job, then get married, then buy a home.
Then, too, my other concerns remain:
Tracking routine expenses – Y loves her clothes, accessories, and expensive tech equipment. She also has no head for caring about numbers. (Note: she doesn’t have to be an expert, just willing to pay attention.) That has to stop if they’re taking on a mortgage with one income while accustomed to two.
Health – Neither will have employer-sponsored health insurance after the job loss. They’re young and healthy, but can’t afford any emergencies or accidents (how well can any of us?). It’d be important to have a contingency plan, whether it be buying insurance or setting aside emergency health money. If nothing else, catastrophic health insurance would be a really good idea.
Moving costs – This would include closing costs and associated fees. I’d hope that they don’t end up paying for unnecessary points or junk fees, but as novice home-buyers, that’s always something to watch out for.
Also, while they may pass on purchasing new furnishings right into their new gates, some maintenance issues will probably come up. They’re looking at short sales, and the condition of those homes are not going to be the same as that of a new build.
Taxes – self-employment, primarily, for both. X, of course, will have planned better for his upcoming tax bill, and Y might have since she did have some contractor income. Those will have to be addressed some time this year.
And I don’t know when property taxes are assessed, but can they afford property taxes? Are they prepared?
Not to be the ultimate party-pooper, but I would strongly urge them to re-assess the commitment they’re about to make together. To the home purchase, not to each other! I think their relationship is fine, but can see how making a hasty, major purchase could strain even the strongest marriage.
What do y’all think? Have I missed anything else?
And what would you do in this situation? Do you think my caution, concern and conservatism are (perhaps, wildly) misplaced?
December 25, 2008
I started blogging about money because no one in my real life would talk about it: as many people know, it’s historically one of the more taboo subjects, topping politics, religion and even sex. This blog was an escape as well, a means of venting when I couldn’t bring myself to air dirty laundry and “betray” my family. It grew to be a great sounding board/forum, a connection to the PF blogging community, and sparked real life friendships.
I’ve answered a lot of questions about myself over the years in comments and posts but this is the compendium of more than you ever wanted to know about who and what I am. If you still have questions, feel free to let me know!
Man doesn’t exist in a vacuum, and I certainly didn’t raise myself. My biggest life challenge and influencer of life decisions to date is my family. People keep asking why I support them, what happened to make me the primary breadwinner, and don’t I know that I’m crazy for doing it? Like most things in life, it’s not so simple and it didn’t happen overnight. But to “sum up” as Ricky Ricardo would have you do: I always had an absolute horror that my parents would end up on the street, abandoned and ill, if I don’t/didn’t provide for them.
Here’s our story…..
In 1980, my parents escaped a war-torn homeland to give their kids a better chance in life. Like Warren Buffett, I won the genetic lottery – twice. I wasn’t born in a third world country, only because my parents chose to sacifice everything familiar for our sakes. They didn’t even know me yet! Dad spoke the language, but Mom started learning once she set foot on foreign soil, newborn baby in her arms, and not a change of clothing between them. They’d lost everything to pirates on their crossing.
In 1982, I was born. Best thing that ever happened to them. You know it’s true. 😉 Even if I did cry nonstop for 9 months.
In 1990, they’d scraped together starting capital to open their own businesses. The income went to keeping a roof over our heads, food on the table, and us in school. They even sent my brother to private school.
In 2000, they sold one business and the other failed, the bankruptcy hastened by a manager’s embezzlement during highly competive pricing wars. I had begun putting myself through college that year. Facing what I thought was a temporary rough patch, I amped up my working hours to fill in the gaps at home. That turned into a 80-work week + full course load situation for the next four years. “Just to get us through,” I thought.
In 2003, Grandma was diagnosed and bedridden with late-stage Alzheimers. She was no longer in touch with the same reality as the rest of us. Trapped in her own world, she often looked at us, and saw ghosts from her childhood. We took care of her until her death three years later. I bought a brand new car this year and paid more than I can ever admit out loud for individual car insurance. *tsk tsk* This was one of my more spectacularly poor money decisions. Refusing to stay on the family plan thinking that it made me more independent was just dumb.
In 2004, Mom was diagnosed with diabetes. After my graduation from college this year, I took a job locally instead of moving to the East Coast to pursue a career, and stayed to support them a little while longer. My new job paid for my train commute so my car essentially retired from work for the next 4.5 years.
Brother was, to be terribly blunt, worse than useless during this time with a history of causing us grief and running up debts. Mom rarely took care of herself because she was trying to work, take care of Grandma, and worrying about him which laid the groundwork for a massive health failure when Dad made bad job/financial choices. In an attempt to keep the family afloat, I continued 60+ hour workweeks.
In 2006, I started this blog under a different pseudonym. Debt repayment was a regular part of my life by this point. I was working on paying down the first $7000 of my parents’ credit card debt, and had purchased a new truck for my brother’s use. He had agreed to pay me back if I would finance it under my name. Big honkin’ HA! If that wasn’t enough, I was about to make a few more pretty big financial mistakes for my family’s sake after that.
By 2007, I had shouldered 99% of the financial responsibilities at home. I made the monumental error of lending them $20k as starting capital for a business. The bleakness in my dad’s eyes, as he reflected on his inability to earn a sufficient wage, when he asked me to make the loan was what pushed me to say yes. Around this time, I realized that 12-hour work days for the foreseeable future made zero sense considering my expertise and responsibility levels. I pushed for a major raise that my bosses agreed that I’d earned ten times over. 8 months later, my salary went up 70%.
Stress, anxiety, depression, uncontrolled diabetes + other unidentifiable health issues (like the stroke) sent Mom into a tailspin and she could no longer be left alone for fear she would hurt herself, inside or wandering outside, get horribly lost or set the house on fire. Dad served as a caretaker for Mom for the next four years, housekeeping and doing odd jobs to bring in some money while I remained responsible for bringing home the real bacon.
This arrangement never sat well with him but it’s what worked, sort of. Obviously, he wasn’t wholeheartedly a fan. Lying to “protect” people is not my idea of dealing well. Brother continued to play at being responsible with no discernible improvement.
By 2008, I’d paid off the $20k folly, faced some hard facts about my family, and was well on my way to building a solid core of savings. I’d need it because this was the year my job became intolerable, and we were going to be laid off some time in the murky future. Job hunting began in earnest.
In 2009, the layoff happened. I spent many months job-hunting, taking classes, traveling, seeing to loved ones, reflecting, learning, and seeking new ways to take on life.
In 2010, I moved to start a hugely challenging new job, leaving a power vacuum in my family and causing more stress in a multitude of ways, faced more family/ health challenges, got our first Christmas tree, and got engaged.
2011 flew by with a fantastic trip to Thailand, the adoption of our dear Doggle, ponderings on future family building, a very sudden marriage, and the even more sudden loss of my mother.
And here we are! Through all of it, I’ve learned a lot about budgeting, conscious spending, delayed gratification, career management, saving, investing, planning for the future, how to prepare for financial crises like layoffs, how to appreciate and enjoy life, and even how to save for myself while differentiating between supportive and enabling behavior.
At the same time, I’ve become much more of a minimalist, reducing my stuff so clutter doesn’t give me claustrophobia, and using the money and resources saved to help where I can.
It’s a work in progress, and always will be because I do get the gimmes. Once upon a time I had to pinch pennies like a total Scrooge to make sure bills were paid in full, on time. Now, I’m allowed a few goodies, but I’m totally the mouse from If You Give a Mouse A Cookie so I believe in conscious spending. VERY conscious spending.
Careful money management and determination was absolutely key to maximizing my opportunities.
Now in my late 20s, I’m focused on making the best of what life serves up while building as secure a financial foundation as possible. Budgeting and maximizing income opportunities will always be part of my life because I want financial freedom.
I want to be free to make the right choices, not for the sake of money.
Come and share the experience with me!
August 22, 2008
This quote from Michael Phelps in the Festival of Frugality over at Four Pence Worth really resonated with me:
“Back in the winter, at 5.30am, when I didn’t want to get up and train on some cold and dark morning I’d still make myself snap on the light and look inside my swimming cap. ‘Athens’ is stitched on the inside. I’d get up then. I’d grab my bag and head for the pool. I’ve been doing that 365 days – year after year. I can’t remember the last day I didn’t train. Thanksgiving, Christmas Day, New Year’s Day. I haven’t missed one of ‘em for years. And every single day I got that word, Athens, running right round my head.”
It’s not that I have training to do, and I’m certainly not headed for anything so incredible as competing in the Olympics, but I definitely suffer from I-hate-mornings-itis. And you know what? A visual reminder to combat my hatred of getting up could be just the ticket to get my cranky, sleep-deprived self out of bed. And, eventually, to better utilize those early hours in pursuit of career development. It’s such a small, simple thing to do, for such great dividends. And more, though I am intrinsically motivated and driven 98% of the time, even I can get disheartened and lose focus over time.
I need to program a message to myself on my phone to accompany my morning alarms.
May 10, 2008
*shock*
I’ve been needing to call the insurance company to deal with the removal of my mom from the insurance. I knew it’d be a bit more complicated than taking my brother off because MaDucky’s actually the policyholder, so I’d been dragging my heels a bit. Also because I wanted to compare rates with other companies while I was at it.
Instead of the usual, “So, you know how we agreed to take your mom off the insurance? Have you done it yet?” conversation, PaDucky actually told me that he’d spoken to the insurance agent and had gotten a couple quotes for the new insurance, and made some inquiries about how much we’d save when the truck comes off the insurance.
Holy … cow …
He’s NEVER handled any of our paperwork. Never. He ferries the tax documents every year, but that’s because he’s had a working relationship with the accountant for more than ten years, and it’s best for him to go chat with the guy. But bills? Rent? Medical records? Banking? Nope. Nope. No and no. He won’t even go to the bank! I’m glad, but still mostly in shock.
Something’s finally pushed him to take the initiative to do something more around here, and I’m sorry it had to be MaDucky’s complete deterioration of health.
May 6, 2008
Each month, I round up all my expenses and work out the total of what I grandly call my net worth. A lot of bloggers do it, in one form or another. Actually, I call mine “snapshots” because they’re just a quick glimpse at my ever-fluctuating expense and income sheets. In a way, I like that the numbers continually change, especially since I get bored so easily. Activity isn’t always a good thing, though, as noted by the massive reductions in net worth during the BroDucky debacle. Let me emphasize how I never want to spend so much for so little again. 😛
Every month, I put together these snapshots, but I don’t actually have a net worth goal. And keeping track of numbers without an actual goal seems rather halfhearted. I do have annual savings goals, as you can see by my sidebars, but I don’t have an overall net worth goal. Part of this is because the savings goals are both saving and spending goals. A good half of my goals pertain to a future purchase or expenditure: car maintenance, home ownership, auto payoff. The other half are for retirement (completely untouchable), emergencies (almost always untouchable), and mistakes (only if it’s serious).
Between the two, it seems like I’m just saving to spend. Oh, that’s not really the case, I’ll still have the savings at the end of a long hard day, but the half and half structure of my goals implies that this isn’t all about holding on to my putative wealth. In that light, “net worth” doesn’t seem applicable unless I have something more concrete than the employer retirement funds and cash in a savings account. Some things more like CDs, and savings bonds, and property. An actual stock portfolio, at some point. You know, grown-up things. So again, what’s the point of tracking my net worth?
After all, it can be very subjective. You can choose to include or exclude any number of possessions or holdings that you deem worthy or not of being considered. I leave out my automobiles entirely because it’s a bit too complicated to include them. I don’t plan to sell my personal vehicle ever, and the family sedan, which is not my financial responsibility, is still being paid off. Still, if something happened to it, you betcha I’ll be the one who has to figure out a replacement. Same goes for personal loans. I only started including those because I’m getting forgetful, and didn’t want to lose track of them entirely. One of the reasons I’m leery of including any possessions is the idea that possessions only have value to me. If I lose or break something, I have to replace it at a cost to myself. It’s highly unlikely, in the general scheme of things, that my possessions will be worth anything to anyone else. Barring selling large ticket items, of course. But my point is, things are primarily a liability. More often, I’ll have to replace things, not make money from them.
So, why track a seemingly artificial net worth? In part, accountability. As long as I see steady progress, or lack thereof, in the form of numbers from one time period to the next, I have to stay on track. Some kind of track. And if I keep the variables constant, then the change in amounts is a valid indicator of circumstances. Just because I don’t include my possessions doesn’t mean my financial holdings aren’t real.
The other part, motivation. Seeing the numbers makes the whole game of finances, bargain shopping, and frugality more real. It’s not just theory, it’s life in action. If I were to be completely objective, I’d be proud of myself for going from working to pay off my family’s debt (credit cards, car payments, personal loans), to actually building a cash cushion, putting a decent amount away for later, and generally making some progress. It’s harder to see that, though, on those bleak days when all I can think of is the $18,000 I foolishly lent and lost, the entire salary of my 4 college years going towards bills bill and more bills, and most of my post-college salary going towards not me. I can only see the other side of the coin if I actually keep track of it.
It’s all too easy to forget that the grind can actually produce results, and to keep going because we’re going to make it. I look at the accomplishments of fellow bloggers, and I’m A-M-A-Z-E-D. And you know what? Seeing my numbers keeps me honest. I can finally be happy for what I’ve done here these past two years, too. Combine that with the realizations that it’s ok to be free, that it’s ok to live, and I’m going to say, not too shabby, really!
So, let’s keep on with the net worth! It doesn’t define me, and it may not truly define my “wealth” but it’s a good way to keep me truckin’ from milestone to milestone.