September 27, 2022
I’ve been cycling through two bras, a pair of laughably torn jeans, and a handful of tees that still fit, all to put off the effort of clothes shopping that I hate so much. When we picked up a a sack of random hand me downs for JB, it also came with a bag of hand me downs for me! Five pairs of usable jeans, two bras and three nicer tee-blouses.
The abundance was greatly appreciated, it filled the three big gaps in my wardrobe and also compounded my chagrin. Because I’ve been staring at my wardrobe for months trying to figure out how to fix the problems in there.
Pregnancy and post-pregnancy life blew up my wardrobe. I added 3 pairs of light soft pants and 4 pairs of comfy warm sweats, and 3 skirts from early pregnancy. I hated buying clothes to fit my pregnant and uncomfortable body, knowing that I’d be facing this very problem, but I needed something to wear. I also own more sweaters and jackets than seems sensible for one person but I wear most of them, in a rotation.
There’s probably enough for a different outfit for 14 days if I were so inclined. Since I’m not, it feels like I’m holding onto too many clothes.
That feeling means there’s no room for adding anything I like and would find useful unless I get rid of a lot first. Skirts on hot days instead of shorts is a recent development. My one skirt fits better than any of my shorts and the pockets are AMAZING. So I’d like a second twirl skirt. But adding anything to this mishmosh is counter-intuitive. Also, am I going to be a non-shorts person going forward? OR will I regret donating the shorts and going to skirt-based hot day gear?
Then there are the pieces I don’t wear at all.
The marigold blouse and the crimson tank top, tailored to fit my pre-child self perfectly under a blazer I also never wear, are looking at me accusingly. I want them to go to a better home, I’m never going to fit them again, but being a weird size means I haven’t got anyone to give them to and selling them is nearly impossible. Donating means they’ll probably be thrown out and that makes me sad. I don’t want to contribute to landfill. But the current alternative is they live in my closet forever. Ideas? I thought about thredup but they won’t take any altered.
I won’t ever be a three outfit person nor do I want a walk in closet. I just want my wardrobe to be small and functional without feeling like it’s too much or too little. I’m happiest running a little lean, somewhere in the middle. JB used to say, Daddy’s the biggest, I am the smallest, and Mommy is the mediumest. This describes what I want my closet to reflect perfectly.
Writing this shed a touch of clarity on what I should do next. But this also raised a handful of questions:
It would be helpful to establish what goes with what else and shedding the things that don’t work as part of an outfit. Is anyone good at this?
– I had decided to clear out all bottoms without pockets: shorts, leggings, skirts. I’ll always need pockets. This is also true of my dresses. I won’t buy any dresses or skirts or pants without pockets. This was easy when it came to the shorts that I don’t usually wear BUT I have a few pairs of good quality leggings that I’m puzzling over. Great quality, but no pockets. Do I keep them even if I’m much less likely to wear them? Does less likely mean not at all likely? No pockets is a dealbreaker for anything new, and I haven’t touched them since I could probably fit in them again post-second pregnancy, so is it logical to assume that I have moved on from them?
– White jeans. These fit the best of the hand me downs and are so comfortable with great pockets. But they’re white. I have two kids and a dog. I am not a parent who can resist getting down in the dirt with any of them, even if I myself were a neat person to begin with (I’m not). I could probably wear these on vacation in specific settings. Is it worth holding on to a pair of jeans just for the occasional vacation? Seems silly. I know friends who buy clothes specifically for vacations. Is holding on to a single pair of jeans just for “special occasions” any different?
– A couple of sweatshirts that went with those leggings that also haven’t been touched since before second pregnancy. They could be useful? Except again I haven’t touched them since unearthing them from the pregnancy box … I think I just answered my own question there.
I am working through some of the pieces by writing this post but overall, I have very few answers as to what would make my closet feel like it’s what I need. Could someone could come make my closet make sense?
February 13, 2013
An Ebates email touting “an extra 30% off Jcrew.com” caught my eye earlier and I casually meandered over to check it out. Much of the time, this poking about never turns up anything so it seemed harmless.
But now that an allowance for each of us has been established during the formation of the budget, my hoarding (money) habits came to the fore and insisted that I calculate exactly how much was left for the month before making any moves.
Of course that meant entering all transactions for January and February into the spreadsheet because if I’m already in there, why not?
After subtracting the cost of the second dress (not pictured), my allowance stands at $160 right now. These pants I liked so much are available in pinstripe and at $75 (before tax and shipping), a fair bit less than the original $98 paid. Even knowing that next month will bring another month of allowance money, and even after having said I’d get a second pair when they were on sale again, my gut says: no! Wait until you have more to spend so you’ll always have over $100 in allowance!
Of course. Because a spender cannot be made out of a saver, no matter how laissez-faire you get.
There’s been a lot of banter back and forth so far about what we’d be willing (he, really) to take out of our respective allowances so this imposed limit on spending has been both hilarious and instructive in forming more conscious spending decisions.
It always niggled at the back of my mind that deal sites were going to be the death of our savings goals; PiC orders from them 8-10 times more frequently than I do. But this is good, we’re figuring out that territory.
As for the pants: these are supposedly their most popular pants, it can’t be stupid to think they will absolutely go on sale, for this much, again later in the year, right? (I’m counting on it. Plus, like SewPetiteGal, I hate paying for shipping.)
February 1, 2013
We’re inundated with these flash sale sites these days, and even though there is occasionally a good deal, it seemed like a better idea to unsubscribe to all of them because I felt like it was distracting and there were so few petite-friendly options that go on sale (that I know of) that it seemed pointless.
I should have blogged about doing it, that probably would have kept me honest. But I didn’t. And I didn’t. For once, I let that fear of missing out on the one time a petite brand would go on sale because (creaky voice) two years ago Gilt carried a brand I could actually wear for 40% less than I could find it anywhere else and I ought to have bought then!
Almost inevitably, something caught my eye a few months ago on ideeli.com* and I put myself on the waitlist. To “think about it” (sucker, heh). It came back around as available in my size and here we are, I have myself a shiny dress. Literally.
Even though it’s not 100% perfect, it very nearly is. It just has to lose an inch in the shoulders and it should pretty much be perfect. I cringe at the idea of tailoring such a heavily beaded dress though. My imagination runs amok with how easily it could be ruined. This is why I’ve never trusted myself with such nice things before.
The risk of ordering from this particular site is their return policy, in my opinion. They will only issue the full amount in credit or part of the return less the shipping free if you want your cash back. They also charge $10 in shipping for every 30 days so you pay once and then have 30 days to keep buying for “free” shipping. Really, it just divvies up the cost of that shipping fee among your other purchases but I’m not a fan of the lure it’s meant to be: Buy more, it’s “free” now!
I hate paying for shipping and hate losing money on a return so I had to be pretty committed to the purchase and pretty sure that the sizing is right. I will admit even after checking the sizing carefully on this and another dress it still felt like a gamble.
The other one actually fit like a glove, also literally. But it still needs a minor creative alteration for modesty’s sake – the back of the dress dips just a shade too low.
There’s a bit of me that feels like there are far too many dresses in the closet already so they should go back and damn the shipping cost but they’re .. so .. shiny.
*Referral link if you want to enable me further
December 9, 2012
All the packages finally arrived this Friday. A neat little row of J.Crew, Banana Republic, and NY&Co.
The Verdicts:
The purple hacking jacket in herringbone from J.Crew, ordered in the last smallest size they had available (2P), was like wearing my mom’s clothes. A bit of a burlap sack in the shape of a tweed blazer. Funny but not flattering, fit-wise. But the color was really pretty, and even PiC liked it, even though as he says: you pick colors I’d NEVER pick.
“Nope, I asked Twitter. I know how to compensate for my weaknesses like color coding or matching.” My sincere thanks to @mello_yello_jen/Jenny for chiming in positively on the color of this blazer and @elleandish/Janelle for the same and helping me with possible outfit colors and ideas!
This was a maybe primarily because of the size, it’ll take a lot of work to make it fit: the color was gorgeous, it can be matched w/my closet of many neutrals: as Janelle suggested, dark trouser jeans and a nice dark blouse, a light blouse, etc. All of which I have. The jacket can be the color focus. I was in love with the many pockets. Three pockets in front, and an inside coat pocket. I always want an inside coat pocket. (Sucker). The lining was luxurious. The cut of the front was curved, not a straight severe cut, definitely in the style of my old hunt coat. Reminiscent.
This was on sale for $120 from $228.
The grey flannel blazer, my mentally dubbed “back-up option”, was a much closer fit but was still too big. No one makes a 00P like it’s supposed to be. (ie: fits me perfectly *cough*) It was lined with a nice stripy fabric, but there was no fascinating inside pocket. The outside pockets weren’t fake though, which is always a concern for me.
Totally forgot that it had elbow patches which are amusing. Slightly off-centered, in my opinion but PiC insists that they’re centered enough. We could have argued the matter for a while longer but we needed to move on.
This was on sale for $90 from $150.
The yellow mustard cowlneck blouse was picked to add a little color to a closet full of blue, black, gray, splotched with occasional concession-to-color reds. It falls around the neck perfectly, the fabric’s soft but there’s just too much of it. You could fit another half of me width-wise in there – add a thicker ribcage or generous bosom or something to make full use of this top. Still the top itself is pretty and very easily altered by taking in the sides. A shame I can’t save that extra material and make something with it. Extra value!
This was on sale for $36 from $60: KEEP, Alter
The black Cafe trousers from J.Crew I couldn’t remember ordering? Yeah, they weren’t a hit. The fit was a little roomy in the derriere area, and the length was generous. The biggest problem was they were mostly made of cotton, which means they were extra creased which doesn’t bode well for business clothes that might have to travel with me. That’s the official reason. The real reason is that while I used to love ironing and used to love the crisp feel of clothes after I was done, I don’t really like doing it anymore. Also, I don’t have an iron anymore soooo…. And under the heading of “learning from past mistakes”: the last pair of mostly cotton pants I had didn’t wash and wear well. The black started to fade around the seams over time and looked pretty crap. So these are definitely going back.
This was on sale for $67 from 89.50: RETURN
The 1035 trousers in Super 120s were a wild guess, I didn’t know what Super 120s meant. I didn’t read the description terribly carefully, these were a bit of a throwaway order for free shipping. Apparently it’s really fine wool, merino wool, and require dry cleaning. /headdesk/ The fit on these were amazing. Perfect, even. The length was too generous but that just needs a hem. Which is scary because these are p-r-i-c-e-y. *sigh* But I’ve gone through any number of cheap, literally and materially, black pants and they definitely show it. (It’s just … dry clean only? Really? I haaate dry clean only clothes, even if I don’t dry clean them, I have to be so careful with them.)
This was on sale for $97.50 from $130: KEEP, hem
The 7th Avenue Bootcut City Double Stretch from NY&Co in black and cherry – now these were a surprise. Hat tip to Extra Petite for trying and mentioning these pants and the company’s petites. I wanted to try a different pant in white but they were out of the smallest sizes so I went with these instead. Partly poly, the black didn’t look very good. Black and poly just don’t always work well together I guess. But the cherry looks really nice and fits without needing any alterations at all. It offsets the cost of the black pants
This was on sale for $24 from $50: KEEP ONE, as is; RETURN ONE
The Tailor’s Shop:
When it came down to it, I could make my peace with keeping the crazy-expensive black pants, even having to figure out maintenance. It was a toss-up between the two blazers. Or so I thought.
When it comes to game time decisions, I must say that PiC is a terrible enabler. We went to the tailor, stack of clothes carefully folded and intending to return one jacket.
“Which should I keep?”
“BOTH.”
“…..”
After some consideration: I haven’t bought and fitted a solid piece since last year. This year’s purchases have been a bust or one off pieces, totaling around $50. My black pants are all frayed, pilling, or washed gray. The black jacket has been serving all duties and is starting to pill so I’ve needed a real stand in jacket. As much as it pains me to pay up that much all at once, this should take care of the jacket needs for a good long while. I really wish I’d managed better timing in ordering the purple hacking jacket even one size smaller to reduce the amount of work to go into the alterations, though.
The tailor and I had a lot of: “too much material,” “take this in,” “bring this in,” “and this in, too” to bond over. And he’ll have it done in a week! It’s pricey but if it’s the usual excellent job, then between the fast turnaround time and having everything fit perfectly, I’ll be happy.
November 27, 2012
Online shopping’s my coping mechanism for not loving shopping in stores where my sizes don’t live but I actually have very little patience when it comes to buying things online. For someone who relies on delayed gratification in so many parts of life, you’d think I’d have a thoroughly Zen outlook on this now.
Instead, I survive slow shipping times by pretending I didn’t order anything and then slowly forgetting that an order even exists at all. Then when packages arrive, fun surprise! The whole thing is a bit mad, really, but it works.
This post is, therefore, flouting my whole coping mechanism. But what the hey, wild side, and all that, right?
From Jcrew.com: a purple (!) blazer I couldn’t get an image for [Petite 2] and two trousers [Petite 00]. Getting adventurous with color here. Total: $309
Funny story, when I went back to get a photo of the pants, I couldn’t remember why I picked the Cafe trousers in the first place. That bodes well for liking them …. :/
Left, Cafe trousers; Right, 1035 trousers in Super 120s.
From Banana Republic, a grey blazer and a blouse that might go with any of the blazers I bought and currently have. Total: $137.00
Grey Flannel, Petite 00
Spicy Yellow Mustard, Petite XXS
From NY and Company, two pairs of the same trousers in two different colors: black and cherry. I didn’t even know they carried petite sizes but with free shipping and no minimums, it’s worth giving them a try to see what quality they’ve got. I’m looking to replace a specific lack of black and other professional trousers in the closet. Total: $50.
Petite 0
No huge surprise that J.Crew is the most expensive of the group, even after 25% off and free shipping.
The challenge will come when all the boxes finally arrive and I have to start a) trying things on, b) figuring out what actually fits, and c) making the call on which to take to the tailor and which to return. Emphasis on the two choices here because nothing will fit off the rack.
Any predictions?
November 19, 2012
As a general rule, I avoid going into the city. No offense to the city of San Francisco, although I do hate driving in or having to find parking there because let’s face it – Market Street mixed among other wackadoodle streets and city parking are the pits, but this homebody is far too easily fatigued and thus unmotivated so can easily push off any single errand to SF until there are at least several things to do or someone’s come to town.
We had such a confluence this weekend with mutual friends in town so PiC and I had a bit of a lark. With nearly 12 hours of sleep under my belt, I had my fingers crossed I’d make it all the way into the evening. We had one errand each, and then an open-ended “we’ll meet with you for ….. ”
We had Clipper cards with varying amounts of money on it for travel, but his card required an agent to work some kinda something on it to make it work again.
My travel: Free.
His travel: $3.55, no agent at the booth and I’d accidentally left behind my backup Clipper card in case his didn’t work. Whoops.
It was a surprisingly long two-thirds mile trek through groddy-town to get to Hayes Valley. Disturbed flocks of pigeons there, along with all the smells of back alleys, discovered a freeway entrance where one didn’t seem to belong and then found ourselves suddenly in an utterly too-nice nice neighborhood. I guess this is how gentrification works/worked in San Francisco?
My errand: his belated birthday gift, a secret thing, a coffee, $42
Back again, through the puddles and the pigeons, and ponderings if we should just walk all the way to Union Square. Pondered all the way right back onto Bart. Hopped on, hopped off.
Meandered up and out, moved as part of the crowd up the way toward Powell, toward, Geary, toward Post, toward all the major landmarks of the Square. H&M (one of three), a new Uni-Glo, Bloomingdales looming(dales), Macy’s. The tree was up, the ice rink was out and holiday crowds were out in force. Oddly, I was ok with this.
His errand: a shirt, value, $80. Free with coupon.
Unscheduled stop, H&M: poke and pruned until we find a blouse, $30.44, with 20% off coupon. Still a little steep given my ambivalence (oh and I forgot to try it on), and btw, I was stung by the 10 cent bag fee, thanks a lot, forgetfulness!
I was chilled, nibblish and shaky by 2:30. We’d only been out and about for… an hour? Yeah. Stamina, spamina. The food and sugar kept me going for another several hours so even though I rarely buy random street food like this around home or go to Starbucks, we made a beeline for the first one we saw. NOM. There’s something delicious (pun intended) about just getting what you want.
Street dog: $4.25
Starbucks venti Hot chocolate: $3.15, free with coupon
We settled into the Westfield for a while to wait for friends who were, in fact, much closer by than we had expected, I caught up on some Twitter and PiC snagged a free Ghiradelli square. Jealous. It was peppermint. Less jealous.
Dinner was a non-glamorous booth affair at a standard chain restaurant with children clamoring and clambering all over the place. Crayons only held their attention for as long as they could race to an ungainly win, assisted absentmindedly by one adult or another; I was starting to see how the mom was so keenly aware of the judging stares of others when they went out. As normal as it is for kids, and boys at any age if I remember growing up with my cousins rightly, to be unruly, attention hungry, wound up or full up with energy, these fellas were like sprung-loose jack in the boxes, wound up and loosed to wreak havoc. It took fast thinking to talk them down from, off of, out from under, apart, or back from wherever they’d gotten to and that was entirely apart from the chattering at hypersonic speed and three decibels higher than an inside voice. Oh, kids. It was entertaining until we started becoming public nuisances, then we had to start clamping down. Gently and teasingly since they’re not ours but still. No one around us was amused when they stopped up the doors.
We trekked back, exhausted, quiet and sleepy, late.
Through heavy lids, we watched my joints puff up like wee sausages on the ride back. Cute. Chasing down and hefting kiddies was fun but more than a little strenuous.
All in all, not a bad day.
July 2, 2012
On a recent trip, my scheduled program was so boring that I ditched class. With nothing else to do in the immediate area but eat or shop, and armed with a 30% coupon for one of the nearby stores, I decided to try dowsing for a sale sweater or a jacket.
I came up empty for outerwear but found a cheerful top with decoration along the neckline, and an interesting billowy, elasticized bottom.
One problem. Armholes were too big, the neckline was too low and the sides were too big around my ribcage. Ok, three problems. Normally, I’d just put it back but experimentally, tried to pretend I had a tailor looking at it. What would they do?
My theory: Take the straps just came up a couple inches. That should take up the neckline, tends to reduce the armholes and brings the sides up so that they appear slimmer. I might be able to solve all the fit problems in one go.
With the coupon, the top came to $21 – a bargain if I managed a successful home tailoring job. Less so if it cost $5-10 at the tailor.
The sides were questionable. On a different shirt, just taking up the straps alone might not be enough to slim the sides and I wasn’t sure I’d the skill to hand-slim them, but because it was sort of tulip shaped, it might just fly.
With encouragement and a bit of advice from Kelly of Alterations Needed, I set to work. The decorations were a little tricky – the beads were actually strung on thread together before they were tacked down so I had to be even more careful about how I pulled them out, and preserve enough thread to tie off so the loose end didn’t let loose a torrent of unintended consequences.
Result? Snug!
But as PiC still can’t quite comprehend, I have a fear of commitment and can’t quite bring myself to cut away the taken up material. Not because I might need to let it out again. Just because.
I forgot to take a Before picture and the After picture is nothing to brag about. Awkward self portraits don’t really do justice to the tailoring job.
The first success emboldened me to take on a $5 final sale H&M tank top I’d never worn because the V neck was too revealing. Unfortunately, these alterations weren’t an unmitigated success.
The neckline is now just moderately appropriate but not great. It can’t come up any higher because there’s no more wiggle room in the armholes; any more and I’ll cut off circulation to my arms, and go beyond the acceptable stretch limits of the fabric as indicated by the blue circles. Ah well, win some, sort of do ok with some.
While I certainly won’t be hiring myself out as a tailor any time soon, I can save myself the cost of the odd (very little) job.
Do you do your own alterations or does everything go to the tailor? Do you get everything tailored a la Clinton and Stacy’s advice?
More on Alterations:
My recent purchases that mostly went back because they were big tailoring jobs
The Economics of Being Oddly Shaped
