November 17, 2020
Week 34 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Week 34, Day 234: I had a completely horrible night of sleep because of course that’s how you want to start a week that’s already going to be rough.
This recipe for Slow Cooker Meatballs in Tomato Sauce didn’t have wonderful reviews but it seemed good enough and we happened to have ground beef, ground turkey, and the other ingredients on hand so I tackled it first thing this morning. It just made sense to start early in the day so I could space the steps apart enough to not completely exhaust myself.
(more…)
November 9, 2020
Week 33 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Week 33, Day 227: I was having a bad parent day. I was in the doldrums and tired and cranky. Then I was impatient with JB for being tired and cranky and out of sorts. That’s hardly fair. It was incredibly hard to get myself on balance to avoid snapping at them for having the same feelings as I was having (but didn’t realize in the moment).
I did take them out for a short midday exercise session (with all the groaning and whining you’d expect from a tired and cranky under-6 whose parent is being stern and crabby). They did get their exercise in. So that was something.
I was trying to focus on the small good things: a small Christmas treat surprise I found for the family since we won’t travel this year. The order of gift books I placed from an independent bookstore. The spices I will soon enjoy cooking and baking with. The huge batch of ribs that are going into the freezer and will save our butts one of these days when we have nothing for dinner (which feels like most nights).
(more…)
October 27, 2020
If you’d like to join me in helping Lakota families and/or rural libraries this year, please read this post. Over 6 weeks in 2019, we raised $2669.94 for the Lakota families, touching 27 lives. What can we do in 2020?
Current total: Lakota, $1,905.47; Rural libraries, $346.69.
Week 32 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Week 32, Day 220: Mondays keep on Mondaying. I had to walk away from my desk to make dinner leaving 70 emails and three hours worth of other time sensitive work and I was in a real mood about it.
I was in a mood most of the day though, from having to reel through a dozen management decisions to finding out that our Joybird order wasn’t just delayed in transit. They hadn’t even started making production until this week. It was slated for delivery starting tomorrow through the end of the week. I was livid, in fact, because they were a month behind and wouldn’t you think that warranted some kind of proactive notice? Not only did they not bother to give us a single update until I started contacting them, they took a week to answer my email and ignored all subsequent contacts. Couldn’t get them to reply to an email, texts, or even answer their phone. I can handle delays if I know about them. But delays like this and a refusal to make sure we’re updated honestly says to me that this is a shady company that isn’t going to come through and can’t be relied on to honor their refund policy if the product is shoddy. Especially when I see the absolute bonanza of complaints from other people trying to get them to answer emails and phone calls for months.
I’m preparing myself to have to dispute the charges if and when they fail to deliver what they promised.
I did catch myself on the verge of blaming myself for not doing deeper investigation into the company, an unhealthy go-to reaction when I’m mad at someone’s shortcomings but feel helpless to change it. I turn the anger back on myself for not seeing it coming.
But I did due diligence, I did do research, and I did check with people who’d used them before. It’s not like I just jumped in feet first eyes closed, and it’s not my fault they stink. I’m getting mad all over again typing this up because we moved our old sofa out already to make space, timing was an issue, and I need a sofa. I need to find a back up sofa option because I have my doubts that Joybird will ever come through. Highly do not recommend.
Worked super late this evening. Did not love that either but I find that even if it’s exhausting, the reduced stress when I do the extra hours and see an actual reduction in my workload for the next day, it matters. Plus during the day sometimes I have to deal with administrative nonsense and at night I can focus solely on my work.
Week 32, Day 221: Seamus’s puff pastry looking ear is worse but the vet isn’t very concerned yet. He’s thinking it needs another few weeks to start to reduce in size. I hope so. He doesn’t seem to be bothered by it but I don’t want it to progress to the point where it does bother him. We’re crossing our fingers that he’s beat his multiple infections, we should find out later this week.
That’s the good news. The bad news is that Joybird is a terrible company and after being given a chance to rectify their error they chose to obfuscate and basically use 1209 words to say the product was going to be a month late, too bad so sad. PiC and I were disturbed by the sheer volume of negative experience being reported this month so after a proper fume and grumble, I did some research and talked extensively with the AmEx rep to confirm the best course of action. I decided to take one last shot at getting them to cancel the order on their own.
Tuesday was no less a terrible day than Monday but with second late night at my desk, I might have done enough for tomorrow to be less terrible.
(more…)
October 20, 2020
If you’d like to join me in helping Lakota families and/or rural libraries this year, please read this post. Over 6 weeks in 2019, we raised $2669.94 for the Lakota families, touching 27 lives. What can we do in 2020?
Current total: Lakota, $1,816.35; Rural libraries, $346.69.
Week 31 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Week 31, Day 213: We had a talk with JB’s tutor about the two priorities we’re balancing: academics vs structure. Structure is the part that they have always had with daycare scheduling to prepare them for the way a traditional classroom is run, vs the learning itself (academics).
Kindergarten completely lacks consistency and structure. We never know what they’re going to be doing at any given time of the class session, or even what time the class will end. Daycare was incredibly structured down to the five minute mark and we always knew what they were expected to be doing at any point in the day. Our tutor expressed concern that if JB were to continue on a trajectory where they are academically a grade level or two above their current grade but continue to lack that ability to handle the structure, skipping a grade would be a real problem. We appreciated that insight but we realize that JB’s social development isn’t progressing at a pace that I would think skipping grades could work well for them in the next year or two. That could change, but at the moment, with the few opportunities they have to socialize, I have my doubts it’ll shift much over the next year.
We decided that within the tutoring session, focusing on the academics will be our higher priority. PiC and I will continue to work on balancing flexibility and structure across the whole day so that they aren’t completely feral by the time first grade starts.
Today I introduced a short post-kindergarten class exercise session. We took the dogs outside for a very short walk to a safe part of the street where I could send JB to do wind sprints. I posed this as their “real dog owner training”. They need to build up strength and stamina if they’re going to have a hope of keeping up with running Sera one of these days. Then they get to do a quiet activity of their choice for up to 40 minutes, followed up by an assigned chore. We’ll go into lunch and rest time before their afternoon educational session from there. (more…)
October 13, 2020
If you’d like to join me in helping Lakota families and/or rural libraries this year, please read this post. Over 6 weeks in 2019, we raised $2669.94 for the Lakota families, touching 27 lives. What can we do in 2020?
Current total: Lakota, $1,816.35; Rural libraries, $321.62.
Week 30 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Week 30, Day 206: Mondays continue to live down to their reputation. It was a Very Monday Monday. Partly this was an effect of Friday being so bad, things piled up heavily even though I put in some time over the weekend.
PiC commented that it’s feeling like fall now but I hadn’t noticed that until he pointed it out. It still doesn’t feel like fall, except I just realized that it’s getting dark earlier and THAT feels like fall/winter.
JB has requested a rain coat AND an umbrella and I’m not sure I believe we’re going to have need of either. But if we do, I’ll happily take suggestions for good places to look for decent quality kid umbrellas out there.
Week 30, Day 207: This morning really stunk, not coincidentally because I was overseeing kindergarten, but the afternoon was much better.
I took a real break from work at lunch, both to actually eat lunch and make a pan of enchiladas for dinner. Cooking is so soothing when I’m using it to dodge regular work.
JB was more reasonable, overall, and much less whiny. They went and did their chores with a minimum of grumbling and then took the initiative to prepare a snack for us both. They were so proud of themselves. I like this phase a lot better than the other phases. (more…)
October 6, 2020
If you’d like to join me in helping Lakota families and/or rural libraries this year, please read this post. Over 6 weeks in 2019, we raised $2669.94 for the Lakota families, touching 27 lives. What can we do in 2020?
Current total: Lakota, $1,816.35; Rural libraries, $346.69.
Week 29 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Week 29, Day 199: Between JB and Seamus, and now TBD nickname Smol Human, I am not getting anything like enough sleep.
I was teetering on the very edge of the cliff of No Patience, and nearly bit off PiC’s head for asking me any questions.
I had to take several deep breaths and a giant step back, and stop working for a little while. I did a spot of organizing. Stress cleaning usually evens out my mood and stress organizing was close. It took the edge off at least but it was enough for me to realize just how tired I was. I never snap at PiC.
After I realized that I’d been woken up or disturbed no less than a dozen times over the night, I gave up trying to fight and went to lay down for a short 30 minute rest. I really needed a couple hours but I did not have that luxury on a Monday. We made it through but not without a lot more bumps and bruises along the way.
After hours, I discovered Seamus, fresh off one round of medications yesterday, has developed yet another problem! That poor pup cannot get a break. I gave him some medication and monitored it but he neither improved nor seemed in distress so we left it til morning to talk to the vet. (more…)
September 28, 2020
If you’d like to join me in helping Lakota families and/or rural libraries this year, please read this post. Over 6 weeks in 2019, we raised $2669.94 for the Lakota families, touching 27 lives. What can we do in 2020?
Current total: Lakota, $1,886.35; Rural libraries, $346.69.
Week 28 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Week 28, Day 192: I skipped therapy last week and I have to wonder if that lack of release valve adds to my Monday frustration level. I didn’t sleep well or deeply, so that could be the problem too, but end result: I was on edge all day.
It was a two oatmeal bar kind of day and I felt like I was overindulging but it was my sugar free gluten free treat and darn it, I needed a bit of something good today.
Or I could have just been feeling sick because I was fatigued, who knows!
Belatedly I remembered that I’m supposed to work on not blaming myself for every time I feel sick or tired or overwhelmed or in extra pain because that’s both not knowable and counterproductive. Blaming myself isn’t taking responsibility or a means to diagnosing the issue as I’d believed, it was just another way to be mean to myself which causes extra stress and pain.
Sounds a bit woo woo but changing my self talk has honestly helped reduce both intensity and duration of pain flares, which I may have mentioned before, so an attitude adjustment was in order.
For a while now I’ve been playing the worst game of figuring out why I feel like X or Y or Z: pregnancy or pandemic?? And in the end the only answer that made sense was: yes.
Seamus’s eyes, from that long worrisome period where he had a terrible eye ulcer, are finally in good shape again!
Week 28, Day 193: My roller coaster day. Started in a weird mood, and I was touchy about every little thing. Then overseeing kindergarten and having to hear the teacher praise the kids sixteen times in an hour for “being so smart” aggravated me further – hasn’t she ever heard of the fixed and growth mindsets?? Please. Stop. That.
With Penny’s kind assistance on some wording, because I was too irritable to be polite yet, I drafted a diplomatic email to the teacher asking her to focus not on “smarts” (what is that even in five year olds) but on effort and time. We’ll see if she actually replies or responds positively. There are a lot of things about her class that I find to be subpar but I can let them go. Fostering a fixed mentality though, I can’t.
I also don’t love that she keeps mistaking my kid for another Asian kid in the class and scolding them for the other kid’s actions or inactions. We keep an eye on JB from a distance so we know when they are following directions and when they aren’t. We wouldn’t intervene anyway because we know we should let the teacher manage their class, but there have been multiple instances of JB being scolded when they were actually following directions. I’m not quite sure how we’ll approach that but both of us will observe for a while longer and then deal with it.
(more…)