April 5, 2011
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Breathtaking.
Also, above our pay grade. |
One of the things we’re going to have to do, once we finally set a date, is to select a place to have this shindig. We’re discussing more casual options like local parks which can be absolutely beautiful even as late as fall in Southern California.
Some reality checks: the weather can be capricious so a back up plan is advisable. We’ll have to budget for some set-up if we want tables, chairs, games or anything like that for guests to eat, drink and play. I don’t think a park picnic with just blankets would be terribly comfortable for all our guests, especially if some of them chose to dress up to any degree. That calls for a discussion of whether to go DIY, hire a company to do set-up, or part A, part B. Given the level of disinterest on the part of most of our family and friends, I suspect the practical thing to do from afar is Option B.
Backyards aren’t an option – neither of us have people whose yards can accommodate nearly 200 guests (alas, that is the intimately-sized guest list).
Along the way, we encountered some delightful places that I just had to share with you.
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The Stop Talking Venue
PiC asked me to look at the Wayfarers Chapel. It came to him as a recommendation or a take a look cause it’s cool or something (I stopped listening.) It was designed by Lloyd Wright, of the Frank Lloyd Wright line.
It’s really pretty, and inspired by the giant redwoods so they loom … but they loom. And I’m not all about the chapels. And then I saw the cost.
$3,000 for Saturday or Sunday weddings. No, no, no, and no.
We’re not spending that much of our budget on a venue, my dear, no way, no way. He kept telling me about the “Friday special” just to torture me.
The Wed and Run Venue
Well-Heeled pointed out that contrary to our (PiC and mine, at least) assumptions, the Huntington Library was anything but affordable. You sure can be wed there, they’ll even reserve “scheduled access for vendors on set-up and tear-down days, as well as the day of the event; scheduled access for guests on the day of the event; and an engagement portrait session and a wedding photography session.” The use fee doesn’t include “catering, flowers, musicians, security required by The Huntington, cost of event planner, etc.”
All for the low, low, exclusivity-guaranteeing price of: $100,000.
For a mad moment, I suggested that WH run in there on a free admission day with CB and her officiant, have him pronounce them man and wife, and RUN. What? It’s no more raving than paying a hundred grand just for access to a place that doesn’t include anything but the place and a planner.
Any takers?
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We’re still “working on” the date/place thing, but this was a breath of (gaspingly drawn, after much laughter) fresh air). Oh me, oh my. That we had that kind of budget.
Speaking of, we have a rough one. I’ll share with you once the edges have been smoothed over.
March 8, 2011
Heave a sigh of relief with me, my friends, SDCC travel planning is complete.
In a remarkably backwards approach, I’ve finalized the last part of our plans for Comic Con by booking the departing flights.
Stage 1: PiC was good enough to oversee the hotel booking after my annual overture produced bad news. We discussed the parameters: the budget, how far I was willing to be located from the Convention Center, shared the news with our lodgings companions and verified that it was in line with their budgets.
Result: We have a place to stay. We’ll be kicking in grocery money to my beloved once and always host family for dinners with them.
Stage 2: PiC arranged the return flights which had to be paid for in cash rather than award flights, unfortunately, since they were hard to come by. Everyone and their cousins and their cousins are flying out on Southwest that same day, it seems. I should have gotten on that sooner. Next year.
Result: We will be able to come home.
Insert some naggery for days to be requested off, drivers designated, and flights to be booked to Travel Companions. Because it’s not Con unless I’m driving someone crazy-bemused with my planning six months out.
Stage 3: I revived those expired Southwest award flight credits for a lovely $50 and paid another $5 to actually book the outbound flights. I’m heading out as early as I can stand to be upright. More calls were made to verify pick ups.
Result: We will be going to Con. CON!!
Now, it’s time to eagerly await programming so I can highlight all the Must See panels, the special eventing and the floor plan. I can’t wait!!
February 17, 2011
Did you know …
that when you’ve been engaged more than a month and still have nothing planned, people start wondering if you’re still engaged? Or if you’re still planning to get married ever? Evidently the time allotted for us to plan or set a date may soon expire. Patience, padawans.
that no matter how simple the dress, you can still zipper party-foul yourself? *ow. that left a mark* J.Crew, as it turns out, is still not as petite friendly as other stores. 0P is still slips-off-the-shoulder too big, and not in that alluring sexy kind of way some luscious bombshell might be able to pull off, either. Not that I’d want that look for my wedding, but I’m sayin’, I looked a little ridiculous. It was the sub-$200 dress I bought just to try on, but it may be going back soon unless I’m willing to put a bit more money into making it work. The borrowable dress is coming over this weekend with its owner for a try-on.
that it’s way more fun fake-wedding planning than actually wedding planning? We had the best conversation about our favorite foods and the schizophrenic menu it’d create. Then we narrowed it down to the top three favorite foods each: still schizo. After we switched over to “ok, for real now ….. ” *crickets*
that there are some people who just get it? There are a couple really good friends are just incredibly calming to talk to about this stuff when I feel like it.
that there are the people who just don’t get it. There are so many of them. Luckily, PiC and I are getting quite practiced at the *smile&move along* thing.
that there’s a lot to be said for taking your time and getting in a relaxed state of mind before making any major decisions? I’m not there yet, but I’m pretty sure that’s the only way anything’s going to get done. At least I hope things will get done. Though, it’s entirely possible that if we want people to show up at any sort of thing, we should really at least pick a date. Or a year.
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I was lucky enough to win a Glo package for email wedding invitations a few weeks ago. It is pretty cool considering we were talking about going Evite-style. 😉 The lovely founder, Taryn, invited me to write a guest post so I shared a tidbit here: Reflecting on the first days of wedding planning
January 27, 2011
Q1. Will it be a traditional wedding? (in my head, on my dad’s mind)
A1. I opened negotiations with family on this point, especially the formal engagement, and settled that for the most part this is going to be done my way: practical, simple, budget-friendly. Every dollar in cash, not a penny for debt!
I quite care about my parents’ feelings, which is why I always felt obligated to do this wedding thing the traditional way. This year, though, I had an epiphany: “No.” Why be held hostage to the traditions that require months of preparation, stress, loads of fussing over frills that mean nothing to us solely for the sake of the approbation of masses of distant relatives I’ll never see again?
My dad and I agreed that all of the protests that we expect from 500+ relatives should they be left out is hot air. If we thought for a minute they were sincere or actually cared, I would make an effort to include them but he assured me that it’s nothing more than a cultural expectation and if we navigate carefully he doesn’t have to deal with too many guilt trips.
PiC may weigh in on what he would like to retain but other than that … /snkt snkt!/ Ye shall hear the ruthless snipping and trimming of globs of the cultural Wedding Industrial Complex.
Q2. Do we want a professional photographer?
A2. We’re still on the fence. We don’t even know if we want anything that’s photographable.
Q3. Cake or cupcakes?
A3: Cupcakes are far more fun as long as we can get someone to make them without three inches of icing.
Q4: Location?
A4: If we do any kind of reception, it makes more sense to do it down south rather than ask most of our family and friends to travel up north. Even if we decided to do just a civil ceremony here, PiC would want our families in town for a dinner afterward and I honestly can’t imagine asking my dad to travel with my mom in her condition. He’s harassed enough as it is with his daily responsibilities. I just can’t fathom adding travel to the mix.
Conclusions? None. Except that I’m so annoyingly detached about most of the details that PiC is starting to get after me about actually having an opinion.
Oh! Yes, there IS something. I’ve ordered a sub (barely) $200 dress to try on from J.Crew, and then at a dinner with friends the other weekend, I was offered the loan of her dress which is really close to my size. Score! It’s way fancier than anything I would have picked for myself but I’m absolutely willing to consider just borrowing a dress. I think that’d be pretty cool.
Would you consider borrowing an article of clothing for what’s purported to be the most important day of your life?
January 9, 2011
In the earliest of days, our thinking ran something like this..
Q1. So when do you want to do this thing?
A1. Uh, I can do whenever. X says we can only have two witnesses at City Hall, though. [Addendum: True in San Francisco County.]
Q2. So what’s our budget? [as submitted by my dear WellHeeled, of course]
A2. You’re the one with the most event planning experience, you know what venues cost and headcounts and …stuff. I want to help but ….
me: *snerk* You’re just gonna show up, aren’t you?
Q3: Do you want to be a spring bride? A summer bride? Fall? Winter [future SIL]
A3: *blank stare*
Q4: Are we going to combine our finances? [me, of course]
A4: What?
Yeah, let’s sit down and talk about this one.
Applicable to the area we’re considering
Fact 1: Public Marriage License – $90
Confidential Marriage License -$85
Difference: you don’t have to have witnesses for the latter. And save $5! Woot!
Fact 2: A blood test and health certificate are not required to obtain a marriage license.
Fact 3: You may complete your marriage application online.
Fact 4: After you obtain a marriage license, you have 90 days to get married by someone qualified to perform marriage ceremonies.
Fact 5: If you don’t provide your own witness, you can rent one for $18. #nolie.
Fact 6: Civil Ceremonies cost $25.
Fact 7: You can get the person of your choice deputized to perform marriage ceremonies for a day if you pay $75 and if they show up at 11 am on Thursday, by appointment only, to be sworn in. #truestory
Summary:
This is kind of amusing. And I am having the hardest time becoming emotionally invested in anything but a very few items: guests, budget. This is ok.
The list of things I should probably make decisions about, even in the simplest of weddings, is longer than my arm, but I don’t find myself caring about them: what to wear, the hair (maybe I should more than just comb it, PiC says ponytail is fine), the scheduling (other than to consider the effect on indoors/outdoors venue options). I’ll decide those things that float to the top as most important soon enough.
January 6, 2011
We rang in the new year driving down the highway counting down about ten seconds off the real time. But never mind that, onward!
Savings
I’m looking at three specific areas to save money in January:
1. Cell phones – consolidating my parents and PiC and myself onto one family plan
2. Cable/internet/landline – PiC’s promotional rate for all three services has expired and he’s now happy to let me reduce to the most basic or do without some services. I’m considering the options, though my heart is sad to consider options that don’t include BBC. Alas.
3. Insurance – I’ve been carrying a variety of insurance policies and he and I need to take a closer look at whether we’re overlapping or if we can consolidate for better rates at some point. This is mostly planning, I’m in favor of getting an umbrella policy if we end up combining finances and y’know, marrying it up this year.
Income
1. There’s bonus talk in the air this year, based on last year’s performance, and I had intended to put it toward a big fat trip this spring but as it turns out, that might not really take the form we once imagined. (That bit goes under spending, doesn’t it?)
2. My first year comes to an end this spring and I’ll be up for a review. I fully expect to make a strong case for a raise since my six month review was entirely positive but I’m not sure that the organization tends to be generous on either front (raise or bonus) in comparison to previous years and employers.
Investing
1. PiC and I will be sitting down to evaluate his investment strategies for age and goal appropriateness.
2. My trading account has been dormant, accumulating bits of dividends, and it’d be nice to have a few more income-earning stocks. Time for more research!
Spending
1. Travel will take a chunk of money, depending where we go, and if we count honeymooning in there, that’s another chunk. Then again, honeymooning might happen next year.
2. There’s the small matter of a wedding. I’ve got no plans other than to keep it as simple as possible.
What are your plans this year?
April 8, 2010
I’ve started meal planning for lunches and dinners through the week with the goal of not eating out more than twice a week (if that). Expensed and catered meals don’t count, but I don’t plan on having too many of those.
So far, I’m scheduled to cook every other day and plan to make enough to package up lunch servings for either the next day or day after. That way I cut cook times in half, and don’t have to scramble for the next round of meals. As long as I don’t miss a cook day, the rolling menu should work pretty well.
Crockpot meals should be good for freezing ahead, too.
Breakfasts are simple. A couple eggs with green onions or a bit of oatmeal with a handful of walnuts is the most I can handle that early in the morning. Fruit is packed for a mid-morning snack, and so does a bar of some sort. (I LOVE Lemon Zest LunaBars.)
Some of my favorite dinner recipes
Roasted chicken (yields 2-4 meals depending on the size of the chicken).
Balsamic chicken (yields 2-3 servings) — Modified this recipe by using much less balsamic vinegar.
And lemon garlic chicken — this recipe with maybe a few less lemons.
By cooking at home, I should be bringing meal costs down to around $5 or less, including a veggie and carb side. I like brown rice best, but breads, pastas and quinoa are welcome additions to my plate.
