June 6, 2014
“You don’t have to eat in the dark,” calls out PiC, sounding vaguely concerned that I’d finally lost my frugal mind and refused to use electricity for just one person. He doesn’t have to say it, I know he’s thinking it.
It’a not untrue that I was choosing not to turn on the light because it was just me and my croissant at the table, but that wasn’t the whole of it. I could see well enough in the near dark, but sometimes it’s just kind of nice to sit in the quiet night, with a snack, maybe poking through a blog. You’d think I get enough alone time, working mostly away from people everyday and seeing only PiC most days of the week. It’s a darn good thing I married a man whose company I actually enjoy in spades!It’s been a lot of long weeks, slogging through work day after work night after work day, in the midst of a fairly intense episode of fatigue, pain and more fatigue. But it’s also been a lot of exciting stuff going on too, taking up all my energy and brain space. I can see light at the end of the tunnel and even if I need more recovery time than ever to struggle up to the surface, it’s still pretty cool that I’ve pulled this off. I can share some of it in a month or two, probably, once the loose ends are tied up.
In the meantime, introspection in the dark is just what the doctor would order, I think, if I actually found a good therapist who’d recommend that which was soothing to my soul.
I feel like Mal at the end of the first episode of Firefly: my best effort today was only 2/3 good enough, I worked til 1 am the day before so was dragging from sleep deprivation, PiC had to pick up my slack from this week and run to the vet for Doggle’s ridiculously expensive medication and do the grocery run for me, arriving home exhausted, late and grumpy. I’d managed to make a soup but it wasn’t enough to serve as a meal for a normal human that expends energy so even my “sorry I couldn’t run the errands but have a nice dinner” gesture was… Well, inadequate. In an attempt to thank me for trying to make the day end nicely, he knocked a glass over and spilled water all over my pants, in a move that is so typically ME (confession: I forgot how to work a glass two days ago and spilled water all down my front); it was just so absurd we had to laugh.
But at the end of the day, we’re still flying.
Little as that may seem, it’s enough.
(By the by, I did figure out the old family recipe and made it twice without disaster, so I’m calling that a win.)
May 26, 2014
Even though it’s a two and a half hour drive away, I think my favorite present (aside from delicious food since we haven’t actually really done birthday presents in years) has been our family membership to the Monterey Bay Aquarium.
As gifts go, considering we don’t manage to use the membership very often, it’s really a luxury.
But I do so love presents that both give me what I love (OTTERS) and support a good cause (Marine life exhibition care and education; conservation and science programs). They spend 64% of their money on those very things, so probably they could do a bit better but I really love the site, I love how kid and adult friendly it is (if you haven’t played with a kid in their play area, you really should!) and it’s just … peaceful and lovely.
We recently met some volunteers who’d been working there for more than 20 years, which I think is rather incredible, and speaks to the dedication of the community to some degree.
Memberships are tax-deductible (a PF blogger favorite) and include free admission for one year, express entry and discounts.
What’s your favorite birthday gift?
March 10, 2014
It’s been an age since I last saw y’all here for a Carnival, welcome back!
One of the things I’ve been doing, in addition to a bit of housekeeping and redecorating here, is making some changes to the Carnival of Personal Finance. Moving with the times, and all that, we’re trying out a new format where we highlight ten of the best submissions. As I’ve got submissions from last week as well, I expanded the size for this edition slightly.
The theme I was feeling from the best of the submissions in these past couple of weeks is life changes: so many people are going through or planning for life changes and there’s a lot of good information on how to do it a little more gracefully, spending a little less money while these things happen. Have a seat, have a read, and share with your friends!
WORK AND CAREERS
eemusings from NZ Muse is dealing with a layoff in the family again: Surviving a layoff: 2009 vs 2014.
Miss T. from Prairie Eco Thrifter reminds us that No Matter Your Career, You’re a Brand: keep your image and your reputation in shame if you want to remain employed, or come up for promotions and raises.
Mr. 4HWD from The Four Hour Work Day declares that we ought to Save Your Passions for Later on in Life, because unless your passion happens to coincide with a viable business opportunity, you’re probably not going to be that successful(by most measures of success).
HOMES AND FAMILIES
Andrea from So Over This kicks around ideas on how parents are Saving Money on Child Care! because if you pay a babysitter or other childcare professional over $1900 a year, you have to pay employer taxes as well?”
I’m not a personal fan of lists, but Bob from Dwindling Debt’s 3 Tips to Reduce Capital Gains Taxes when you Sell your Home outlines
Bryan from Gajizmo has a remarkably comprehensive answer to: How Can I Make Money From Home?
Some knowledge we take for granted, but Charles from Getting A Rich Life reminds us that many people still haven’t done The Three Financial Moves You Need To Protect Your Family.
ECONOMICS: IN THE HOME, AT THE MARKET
Harry Campbell from Your PF Pro makes the case that you must Diversify Everything.
Natalie from Debt and the Girl reminds us that there are still high numbers of long-term unemployed, asking Could You Survive on $4 an Hour?
Emily from Evolving Personal Finance reminds us What’s So Great About High Cost-of-Living Areas? (The answer is surprisingly simple, and true!)
No Nonsense Landlord describes The Land Lord Trap.
MINI BONUS ROUND: PF THOUGHTS
Marissa’s house fund saved their burst pipes.
I’ve been wrassling with Net Worths and saverspender kicks around a Personal Finance score.
Tell me your thoughts on vacation policies or being young again (oh lord and lady, no thanks).
March 6, 2014
Yes, we’re American but stag & hen is just easier to say. 🙂
I was just being grateful that at my age, most of my friends have gone past needing some ridiculous pre-wedding party, with a few exceptions (notably, a recent invitation that I declined that was composed of an overnight stay, bookended by multiple expensive activities).
But no, I was wrong. Gone are the days of having a group of friends get together for a relatively inexpensive spa day, or night off drinks and dancing or whatever it is we did back in the day as broke college grads. Now we’re seeing people ask their friends to fly across country, or meet up at a destination city, there to party it up for a full weekend. Between gifts, time-off, lodgings, travel arrangements, most of these seem to be $1000 minimum.
My physical therapist was just telling me about the great deal her boyfriend got, going to Mexico for “just $1000” for his friend’s stag party! *blink*
“All inclusive” is nice but $1000 for a weekend party with the boys (or girls) is a deal? When did that become the norm?
It almost feels like I woke up one day and our friends all became “wealthy” without us. To be fair, PiC’s friends are actually truly well-off, so it’s really not terribly surprising that a few thousand here and there isn’t cause for pause for them.
I don’t have any philosophical issues with destination weddings: that’s where the couple wants to go? Fine. And invitees are free to go, or not go, according to their time and budget constraints.
But stag and hen parties? They feel a little more like hostage negotiation when you’re part of the wedding party and the relevant betrothed is asking: so, what do you think of going to [insert international destination, during high season]? Y’all, when you need a passport for the pre-wedding party, I have objections.
We’ll have honest conversations with the friends, of course, because we’re simply not lining up to spend a few thousand dollars between the stag party, gifts and travel to the wedding; it’s not their fault but let’s face it, every wedding we attend requires travel these days.
There just aren’t that many people that we can spend that kind of money on, especially not with a friend getting married every year or two and oh, living our lives?
I’ve organized my fair share of these, there was the memorable year I ‘maided for 4 brides in 1 summer, but this remains too rich for my blood. Neither PiC or I got either stag/hen parties and I didn’t get a bridal shower, and our budget’s pretty happy about that.
How do you feel about these things? Fun and worth doing as a “once in a lifetime”? Or does it make you want to call for a simpler life? Or somewhere in between?
February 7, 2014
There’s nothing that chaps my ass as much as stupid mistakes, unless it’s stupid decisions that cost me money. Unless it’s stupid, aka shortsighted, decisions that costs me a lot of money.
Part of our auto insurance just spiked by more than 50% because my dad got two tickets in the last two years, and made the foolish decision to pay the fine in court ($100) instead of going to traffic school ($250). Not only did he make this decision on his own without discussing it with me, he never mentioned the tickets at all.
He meant well but clearly he wasn’t thinking of the long term effects. I had to explain to him that his $150 savings will now actually cost me over $1000 in the next two and three years in raised insurance premiums.
He’s now paying for his daily expenses (food, gas, utilities) and stupid crap like tickets, but not for housing or insurance yet. I’m not pushing the issue because I’m keeping an eye on the regularity of the utility payments and have had to make a couple supplemental payments in December as he’s not keeping up with them regularly, he’s still learning how to budget on an irregular budget.
As I suspected when we agreed that he was going to start taking on the regular monthly stuff like utilities, there’s not been a word from him about getting behind in payments. It seems he’ll simply won’t learn or change on that front, so my instinct not to trust him to talk to me instead of finding himself slowly being boiled in (debt) water that’s been heating up over time was right.
It’s not going to break us but our carefully constructed budget is going to take a hit unless I can find a way to cut back somewhere else to compensate. Which, again, chaps my ass.
*deep yoga breathing*
I managed to talk to him about the consequences of his short term decisions, without losing my temper, but it was tough keeping a lid on it. The damage is done, so there’s no use hollering about it.
This is NOT what I meant when I said I wanted Stupid Money.
I’m not alone, am I? (Misery does love company, sometimes.)
December 9, 2013
Our favorite guesting ritual is cooking a meal for our hosts.
There’s always a bit of shuffling figuring out what to make and cooking in an unfamiliar kitchen but cooking a nice meal for hardworking (often parent) friends and cleaning up for them’s a nice way to give them a bit of a break and thank them at the same time.
For our new parent friends especially, going out is not so much the fun and easy time that it used to be. Depending on the age of the kids, and the parenting style, they’re generally on the hook for crying, projectile food, running, screaming… all ingredients for a good time, right? It’s just easier to eat at home and weird as it is, PiC and I always enjoy a good ramble through the grocery stores wherever we travel.
Grocery shopping in Hawaii was one hell of an eye-opener.
The ingredients for a basic taco night for four adults and 1 child, which probably would have cost about $30 even here in the Bay Area, was a shocking $60. Granted, I wasn’t buying on sale cycles like normal, and didn’t have any coupons either but still, I’m certain we could manage turkey tacos for less than that on the mainland.
That included: 2 lbs of ground turkey, taco seasoning, hard taco shells, tortillas, onions, 5 avocados for guacamole, 2 limes, 1 bag of chips, a few tomatos, and shredded cheese.
I walked the rest of the produce section and aisles to get a feel for the rest of the store and it was equally scary.
Milk is consistently expensive, running between $9-10 per gallon; kale cost 3x more than I would normally pay (between $1-2 per bundle on the mainland; $5 on the island); bananas that are usually between 29-79 cents per pound were $2.49/lb. Apples were nearly $4/lb; and cereal ran $7-9/box.
We often joke that we can’t afford to feed another mouth around here, PiC snacks enough for three and meals that would serve 4-6 don’t last past the first sitdown, so paradisiacal as Hawaii is, we couldn’t even afford to feed ourselves there!
We’re so spoiled by how reasonable food prices are, even in the Bay Area, and especially in Southern California.
December 4, 2013
The question is pretty simple, really: should I get (do I really need) a wedding band?
PiC is in favor.
I am opposed.
My argument:
1. I already have a perfectly lovely engagement ring that he spent a fair amount of money on a few years ago. It does the job just fine and we’ve got to get about ten years of continuous wear out of it before I stop trying to calculate the amortized cost.
2. It does double duty: gem facing up = engagement! gem facing my palm = wedding! I just turn the ring around when I want to see just a band and I’m all set.
3. I don’t even get to wear this ring (or anything) all the time because I have Sausage Fingers Days where I risk the ring cutting off all circulation to my phalanges. What’s the point in getting a second ring that I can’t wear much either?
4. If I were to buy a band, there’s this sense that it has to match this ring. And it’d be nice to like that. That costs … more than I want to spend. A case of champagne taste for a (non craft) beer budget.
PiC’s argument:
Because I said so.
Obviously, I’m just trawling the Internet for support of my cheapy ways but seeing as how Twitter folk have turned on me and supported PiC more than once, it’s not a sure bet. Come on guys, say I’m right!
