April 27, 2026

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (308)

Year 6 of COVID in the Bay Area

Year 6, Day 359: We’re in Week 1 of the Hardening Off the Pumpkin Seedlings. They are experiencing cold and wind from the safety of a sheltered bucket for a slightly longer stint each day and are still hale and hardy. So far, so good!

Over the weekend, I picked up a couple spare compostable cups, and dropped the 7 presoaked sugar snap pea seeds in there to test out this inside sowing thing. It’s worked out well for Smol Acrobat’s seeds, why not give it a whirl? For context, I’ve mostly been resistant to making this much effort to germinate seeds inside and transition them to the outside. But the prolonged non-germination period has broken me down. Today I was rewarded by the appearance of two teeny seedlings peeping up through the soil! In only two days! I’m pulling back the cucumber seeds that were put into the outside containers several weeks ago. They’re probably freezing and hiding as hard as they can in the soil. Need to rustle up some more trays or cups or whatever might fit on the windowsill to get those seedlings going.

Year 6, Day 360: Money well spent: I scoured a sale for an Oodie that now lives at my desk. After a hard meeting, I can literally crawl back into it, be wrapped in a cute soft squishy Sherpa-lined giant sized sweater thing and decompress. I’m cozy-warm at my desk all the time instead of slowly turning into a block of ice because I don’t want to turn on the heat! It’s so nice. I thought my friend might have been over-stating the wonders of the blanket-hoodie but nope, not even a little bit. I always have a little pang when a meeting comes around and I have to crawl out of it to pretend to be a working professional.

My cup now has THREE seedlings!

Annoying things I have got to get around to dealing with: The oven is still on the fritz. Need to find time to call in someone to fix it.

USPS Informed Delivery showed that my DMV car registration was due last Monday. It still hasn’t appeared so now I have to put in Missing Mail search request and hope it works. I’ve a suspicion that it was misdelivered to a non-friendly neighbor who has chosen to keep it as their registration sticker instead. 

The garage door opener went on the fritz. I need to get someone in to fix it, PiC’s done what he could to troubleshoot but it’s at the end of its lifespan (15 years) so it doesn’t feel like it makes sense to replace the control panel.

Year 6, Day 361: What a frustrating week. Our friends’ kiddo is having a terrible run of health luck and the poor child is now so scared of seeing new doctors because they’ve undergone so many tests and scans.

And drumroll, please: our whole company’s been laid off. We were part of a purge of wide swaths of departments. It was handled so badly that I was devoid of any words except cursing. Zero compassion, zero sense, it’s entirely about cuts to slash costs because they couldn’t make their projections that were wild conjecture with no basis in reality. I know it’s not my fault, those were circumstances several levels above my pay grade, but I’m still so angry about all of it. They took a perfectly good company that was turning a steady profit each year, and wrecked it. Having done that, they blamed us and gutted us. I will never forgive them for it but they won’t ever care. Now I have to figure out how we get on with things.

Year 6, Day 362: So, layoff money stuff. Presumably we’ll have severance pay but that’s theoretical right now. Along with everything else they bungle (shorting payroll, shorting bonuses, marking people ineligible for bonuses, stalling promotions for half a year at a time, emailing confidential information to the wrong SameName person in the company, shutting down the accounts for the wrong SameName person in the company because they accidentally sent them a password reset instead of just telling them to ignore it, managing to brick every single PC user for one shining afternoon), they didn’t bother to get any separation information together before dumping our asses. Just another way they’re a horrible employer.

Since we don’t know our last day(s), I can’t make a lot of useful projections. For now, I can run tally up how much accessible cash we have to cover my part of the household income. That’ll be saved cash and i-bonds, and the cash meant to be invested.

I’m reviewing the rules around unemployment benefits to stretch my timeline of available cash. For unemployment in CA, it looks like my best bet is to apply right away because it’s based on the highest quarter in my last 18 months of income. I should be eligible for $450 per week up to 1 year. I found this bit interesting: “The California Training Benefits (CTB) program allows you to attend school or training while receiving unemployment benefits.” That might be useful! My industry has been taking some really awful turns with the proliferation of GenAI and I don’t want to go back. Maybe this is one way to pivot back into animal care that I’d rather be doing, down the road. I’ll return to that later. My brain doesn’t have room for it now but I have to dig into it probably in my first two months of being laid off since we have to apply before the 16th week of unemployment.

If the initial information was accurate, severance should be 2 weeks per year of service and I’ll max it out at 26 weeks. That’s taxed at a higher rate, about 41%, so 60% in take home cash works out to roughly 3.5 months of income.

Year 6, Day 363: I’m just sad today. I’ve been working every day this week since the announcement to support my team, and maybe incidentally keeping too busy to think much about my own situation but the questions of “who am I when I don’t spend 40 hours a week doing my thing” and “what do I want / what can I do next?” and “how bad does it feel not to be in charge of my own team anymore?” (answer: so bad) are rising to the surface. I hated my actual job of the past 2-3 years. That was miserable. I was still good at it, I had been making life significantly better for my team and that was so many lives improved, but I hated the corporate pressures where nothing mattered except “line goes up” well beyond the possibilities in reality. None of their lies and platitudes serving as reasons for this devastation matters, I’m just sad.  In therapy I’m going to have to explore how to handle being a person whose job of 15 years revolved around doing the work itself but also building an amazing team that was just summarily axed. I have lots of feelings about this. I thought that cutting off my dad was a hard identity transition. This one may be a lot harder? But maybe a positive one, in the end, like going no contact was, ultimately.

There’s some shades of relief knowing that there’s an end to my personal suffering but I would never have taken that route at my team’s expense if I had any choice about it.

There’s also resentment that I’d finally found some kind of balance between my saving (extreme) and spending (extremely no) impulses and now it has to flip around a bit until I know where the money is coming from.

April 20, 2026

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (307)

Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area

Year 6, Day 352: I love it when friends share their meals and the basics of how they cooked it. A former chef friend’s most recent texts jogged my memory about the pork belly I’d frozen last year and forgotten about: mince garlic and ginger, saute the salted pork belly and tofu, season with some mirin, dish sauce. I didn’t take the extra steps of adding greens and making a broth since we’d run out of both but it all went great over rice. Next time I might want to use ground pork instead, and try to add greens. SmolAc HATES fat (they’re weirdly obsessive) so the pork belly wasn’t a great fit for them.

I’m trying to return some 2 year old logo stuff to the local gym to get my money back. Nothing has changed with their logo so there’s no reason they should deny the refund but it turns out that it’s such an old transaction they are having tech problems with it. We’ll have to come back and deal with it next week since they couldn’t figure out how to process the refund. Fingers crossed they won’t have forgotten to figure it out in the interim.

Year 6, Day 353: On one hand, I’m making a real effort to put together a reasonably adult human wardrobe. A friend helped me pick a few nice linen-like pants which are perfect for warmer weather (which we don’t usually have….). I’ve picked out cute skirts from Maya Kern, my successor shop to Svaha, and am learning how to put them together to make actual outfits instead of just jeans + tshirting. For cooler weather, so far, I’ve got a pair of fleece lined leggings, 2 large Elhoffer Design sweaters from several years back and 2 chunky sweaters, plus my warm boots. That’ll work for more than one outfit if I can avoid being covered in dog fur or slobber (no guarantees). If I don’t need to care what I look like (most of the time) then it’s cargo pants or fleece lined cargos plus a tee and a hoodie.

(Flip side of the wardrobe rearrangement coin: I’ve extracted 4 maternity shirts for donation, 2 old shirts that are the epitome of threadbare, and 5 Svaha dresses that I’ll never fit in again (sad). We’ll see if the kids want a shot at them before I attempt to list them on Poshmark or donate them.)

On the other hand I discovered the existence of blanket hoodies, Oodies, on clearance and now I live in this giant blanket with the kangaroo pocket down at my knees. It’s so COZY. Like I needed another excuse to hunker down and never leave the house. (This is what I need a dog for, to force me to leave the house when it’s just don’t wanna and not a fibro/CFS thing.)

Year 6, Day 354: Good grief, the big feelings from SmolAc this morning. I don’t know why it was a trigger, or if it really WAS the trigger or if anything would have done the trick, but PiC sharing that the school would be doing school pictures today set off a complete sobbing meltdown. I gave it a few minutes before I came in to cuddle them (they will kick and flail and push you away if you come too soon), and helped them get back on their mental feet. They required a lot of cuddling and shepherding to get moving.

Ironically, they had a grand time at the picture session with their buddies, the teachers reported, so grand and so overstimulating that most of them conked out during the rest period. I’m mildly surprised they still do rest time at this age but this group seems to need naps far more than say, JB’s group. JB quit napping one day age 3 and never went back even once. We didn’t stop sending SmolAc for naps til just before they turned five because they were Always. So. GRUMPY. tired.

Anyway, we ended up being glad that they didn’t mind the photos and horrified by the news that the kids in the class, and in the whole center in fact, shared ONE CAP for all the pictures. OH NO. Please join me in hoping this is just a funny-horrible story to share later and that no head lice were shared among all or most of the kids.

Year 6, Day 355: The swim center has cancelled the kids’ swim lessons for the rest of the month unfortunately. The pool was undergoing some emergency repairs and they can’t get it done in time for any of the weekend lessons. This frees up our Saturday mornings temporarily but it’s still disappointing since their swimming was developing nicely.

We are now entering a new era of gardening: hardening off. I’ve never done this before but Smol Acrobat’s seedlings are growing so vigorously I want to give them their best chance at survival. They got to spend one hour in a shaded bucket to protect them from the wind and sun. We’ll increase their daily outdoor time by 1-2 hours a day until they get to the point of being able to overnight outside without withering or wilting.

Year 6, Day 356:  I grumpily ranted about this on Bluesky yesterday. We try to actively parent while balancing our guidance and encouraging independence for both kids. We’ve been pulling back a touch on managing JB’s socializing but as they’re only in elementary school and moving into middle school, we still actively engage with other parents so we’re not relying solely on our kid’s reporting which isn’t always accurate or complete.

I have this parent asking me for info on why this team splintered and I was rather shocked to find out that she didn’t know that happened until the final presentation, today. Her response: husband is the one who picks up from school. Ok, sure, but you don’t talk to your kid at all just because you’re not the picker-upper? Mind, I’m already cheesed off at her anyway because she refuses to make even a minimal effort like any of the other parents do. Not even when we ASKED her to take an active role in coordinating at get together. She ignored us, left it up to her flakey kid, and ended up with kids being left out because those other parents rightfully expected that a real plan would include their parent contacting the friends’ parents.

So when she asked me for details at last night’s event, I hesitated for a moment. I tend to be honest but their kid is the reason the group splintered. The kid eavesdropped on a private conversation, then deliberately used what they heard to cause unnecessary drama and distress. So do I tell her that her kid is the problem? I kinda want her to know her kid sucks but I landed on the side of Nope. Not my circus. We got through the thing and I am not required to care about her kid’s drama anymore.

A) I don’t feel like being used as her crutch because she can’t be bothered to pay attention. I have a full time job running a damn company, 2 young kids, no help aside from my spouse, & make the effort to at least know roughly what’s going on. That takes work! Her decision not to try does not earn her a place on my list. JB says “she deserves to know.” Sure. But she isn’t entitled to MY time and energy after not bothering. She can make some effort for herself. Asking me doesn’t count. I wouldn’t feel this way if she made any effort whatsoever but she doesn’t.
B) I also think she sucks in every way to do with this group project. They didn’t bother to engage with any parent (parental permission was required), they didn’t bother to make sure their kid was at the mandatory group meetings at school. They didn’t bother to make sure all the kids were invited to the practice at their place. There was no way any conversation about how her kid sucks was going to avoid how I feel about her right now.

All that was more than I felt like engaging on at this point in the night, or really, my life.

April 13, 2026

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (306)

Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area

Year 6, Day 345: I want the job of giving away a billionaire’s assets in the vein of Mackenzie Scott’s giving: MacKenzie Scott Makes Another Blockbuster Gift To An HBCU. She’s making a real difference to institutions that are usually not prioritized. I’d like to do that. Preferably money from billionaires who are doing nothing but harm to the ecosystem, socially, environmentally, etc. though, that would feel much more right.

Related: My W-2 job sent around a shockingly tone-deaf gross note to colleagues stationed in the Middle East encouraging them to take time off now (and max out their vacation allotments) so that they can have a productive last half of the year. So you want them to use up their PTO because you can’t be bothered to extend the courtesy of PTO because of WAR? And then when that’s all used up and the latter half of this year continues to be a crazed rabid barrel of monkeys, you’ll what, fire them for needing more leave? Are all CEOs required to turn in half their brains when they get into the C-suite? FFS!

Paying bills! I was shocked to see our near-$4000 credit card bill. I’d totally forgotten that 75% of the summer camps were paid in this month, along with the payments for Spring Break that included one nice dinner, along with a lot of contributions to struggling folks.

Year 6, Day 346: It’s been six weeks and my cucumber seeds still aren’t germinating. I’m guessing our soil temperature just isn’t warm enough, though I could swear that it’s roughly the same weather we always have. So disappointing. My lettuce and onion seeds have never germinated, so I’m starting to think the real problem here is me. Oh but cutting back the blackberry bush last year was the right move! It’s put out several new branches covered in leaves now so I need to come up with a way to tag the branches as primocane or floricane as we get into the growing seasons.

We’ve been slowly filling up our Got Sneakers? bag since January 2024. They ask you not to send their giant FedEx bag until it’s full, and we don’t give up our shoes til they are worn through so it’s taken us a while but I think it’s nearly full enough to ship out. They used to pay $0.25 for the recyclable condition shoes but they don’t anymore so we just send these to keep them out of the landfill. I hope it does, anyway, they say: “All heavily used and damaged footwear is recycled to reuse materials or to convert waste into new energy.” Looks like our assessment of what was worn all the way through didn’t match theirs and we made a couple dollars from the last bag. Who knows, maybe we’ll make a buck or two off this bag.

Year 6, Day 347: Nicole and Maggie got me thinking about my sibling and the last time I saw a picture of him, he was basically like a feral hermit. Despite our always rocky relationship, thinking of that image of him hurts my heart.

Commenting on an older Nicole and Maggie post, they also got me thinking about how I’m most productive when I have something specific to avoid. I procrastinate when I don’t feel like doing That Thing but because there’s no end to the amount of work I have to do, it doesn’t feel like procrastination. It’s now redefined it as re-prioritizing. But if I know I need to do something I’ve been putting off, tattling on myself works pretty well. Telling a friend that it needs doing is often enough to make me do it. Maybe that IS a function of guilt.

$50 and one smog check later, my 24 year old car is good for another year on the road. I’m hoping we can hit 30 years and 250K miles before we have to replace it.

Year 6, Day 348: A friend shared amazing news that enabled them to retire early and I’m thrilled to my toes for them. So glad that a genuinely good thing has happened for a genuinely good person that I care about.

$$$. I found a set of cute sweaters for Christmas gifts. I DID considered off-brand types but they weren’t significantly cheaper than the brand name on clearance so I went with the original brand, picking from only the clearance bin designs.

Year 6, Day 349: Kaiser is finally starting to be affected by all the anti-vaccine bullshit from this administration. We used to be able to get 6 month boosters for the COVID vaccine under our own decision making. This year, we can’t. I did talk directly with one of the pediatricians who shared that Kaiser has been keeping their own data on COVID and it’s lower than previous years, though admitted that some of that is self reporting (or lack thereof) to go along with the officially reported diagnostics and hospitalizations. I’m trying to decide what this means for our year and how we protect ourselves. I was thrashed by a “mere cold” more than once this year.

Money: I made a second sale on Poshmark, that’s another $7 we can put away.