April 20, 2026

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (307)

Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area

Year 6, Day 352: I love it when friends share their meals and the basics of how they cooked it. A former chef friend’s most recent texts jogged my memory about the pork belly I’d frozen last year and forgotten about: mince garlic and ginger, saute the salted pork belly and tofu, season with some mirin, dish sauce. I didn’t take the extra steps of adding greens and making a broth since we’d run out of both but it all went great over rice. Next time I might want to use ground pork instead, and try to add greens. SmolAc HATES fat (they’re weirdly obsessive) so the pork belly wasn’t a great fit for them.

I’m trying to return some 2 year old logo stuff to the local gym to get my money back. Nothing has changed with their logo so there’s no reason they should deny the refund but it turns out that it’s such an old transaction they are having tech problems with it. We’ll have to come back and deal with it next week since they couldn’t figure out how to process the refund. Fingers crossed they won’t have forgotten to figure it out in the interim.

Year 6, Day 353: On one hand, I’m making a real effort to put together a reasonably adult human wardrobe. A friend helped me pick a few nice linen-like pants which are perfect for warmer weather (which we don’t usually have….). I’ve picked out cute skirts from Maya Kern, my successor shop to Svaha, and am learning how to put them together to make actual outfits instead of just jeans + tshirting. For cooler weather, so far, I’ve got a pair of fleece lined leggings, 2 large Elhoffer Design sweaters from several years back and 2 chunky sweaters, plus my warm boots. That’ll work for more than one outfit if I can avoid being covered in dog fur or slobber (no guarantees). If I don’t need to care what I look like (most of the time) then it’s cargo pants or fleece lined cargos plus a tee and a hoodie.

(Flip side of the wardrobe rearrangement coin: I’ve extracted 4 maternity shirts for donation, 2 old shirts that are the epitome of threadbare, and 5 Svaha dresses that I’ll never fit in again (sad). We’ll see if the kids want a shot at them before I attempt to list them on Poshmark or donate them.)

On the other hand I discovered the existence of blanket hoodies, Oodies, on clearance and now I live in this giant blanket with the kangaroo pocket down at my knees. It’s so COZY. Like I needed another excuse to hunker down and never leave the house. (This is what I need a dog for, to force me to leave the house when it’s just don’t wanna and not a fibro/CFS thing.)

Year 6, Day 354: Good grief, the big feelings from SmolAc this morning. I don’t know why it was a trigger, or if it really WAS the trigger or if anything would have done the trick, but PiC sharing that the school would be doing school pictures today set off a complete sobbing meltdown. I gave it a few minutes before I came in to cuddle them (they will kick and flail and push you away if you come too soon), and helped them get back on their mental feet. They required a lot of cuddling and shepherding to get moving.

Ironically, they had a grand time at the picture session with their buddies, the teachers reported, so grand and so overstimulating that most of them conked out during the rest period. I’m mildly surprised they still do rest time at this age but this group seems to need naps far more than say, JB’s group. JB quit napping one day age 3 and never went back even once. We didn’t stop sending SmolAc for naps til just before they turned five because they were Always. So. GRUMPY. tired.

Anyway, we ended up being glad that they didn’t mind the photos and horrified by the news that the kids in the class, and in the whole center in fact, shared ONE CAP for all the pictures. OH NO. Please join me in hoping this is just a funny-horrible story to share later and that no head lice were shared among all or most of the kids.

Year 6, Day 355: The swim center has cancelled the kids’ swim lessons for the rest of the month unfortunately. The pool was undergoing some emergency repairs and they can’t get it done in time for any of the weekend lessons. This frees up our Saturday mornings temporarily but it’s still disappointing since their swimming was developing nicely.

We are now entering a new era of gardening: hardening off. I’ve never done this before but Smol Acrobat’s seedlings are growing so vigorously I want to give them their best chance at survival. They got to spend one hour in a shaded bucket to protect them from the wind and sun. We’ll increase their daily outdoor time by 1-2 hours a day until they get to the point of being able to overnight outside without withering or wilting.

Year 6, Day 356:  I grumpily ranted about this on Bluesky yesterday. We try to actively parent while balancing our guidance and encouraging independence for both kids. We’ve been pulling back a touch on managing JB’s socializing but as they’re only in elementary school and moving into middle school, we still actively engage with other parents so we’re not relying solely on our kid’s reporting which isn’t always accurate or complete.

I have this parent asking me for info on why this team splintered and I was rather shocked to find out that she didn’t know that happened until the final presentation, today. Her response: husband is the one who picks up from school. Ok, sure, but you don’t talk to your kid at all just because you’re not the picker-upper? Mind, I’m already cheesed off at her anyway because she refuses to make even a minimal effort like any of the other parents do. Not even when we ASKED her to take an active role in coordinating at get together. She ignored us, left it up to her flakey kid, and ended up with kids being left out because those other parents rightfully expected that a real plan would include their parent contacting the friends’ parents.

So when she asked me for details at last night’s event, I hesitated for a moment. I tend to be honest but their kid is the reason the group splintered. The kid eavesdropped on a private conversation, then deliberately used what they heard to cause unnecessary drama and distress. So do I tell her that her kid is the problem? I kinda want her to know her kid sucks but I landed on the side of Nope. Not my circus. We got through the thing and I am not required to care about her kid’s drama anymore.

A) I don’t feel like being used as her crutch because she can’t be bothered to pay attention. I have a full time job running a damn company, 2 young kids, no help aside from my spouse, & make the effort to at least know roughly what’s going on. That takes work! Her decision not to try does not earn her a place on my list. JB says “she deserves to know.” Sure. But she isn’t entitled to MY time and energy after not bothering. She can make some effort for herself. Asking me doesn’t count. I wouldn’t feel this way if she made any effort whatsoever but she doesn’t.
B) I also think she sucks in every way to do with this group project. They didn’t bother to engage with any parent (parental permission was required), they didn’t bother to make sure their kid was at the mandatory group meetings at school. They didn’t bother to make sure all the kids were invited to the practice at their place. There was no way any conversation about how her kid sucks was going to avoid how I feel about her right now.

All that was more than I felt like engaging on at this point in the night, or really, my life.

April 13, 2026

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (306)

Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area

Year 6, Day 345: I want the job of giving away a billionaire’s assets in the vein of Mackenzie Scott’s giving: MacKenzie Scott Makes Another Blockbuster Gift To An HBCU. She’s making a real difference to institutions that are usually not prioritized. I’d like to do that. Preferably money from billionaires who are doing nothing but harm to the ecosystem, socially, environmentally, etc. though, that would feel much more right.

Related: My W-2 job sent around a shockingly tone-deaf gross note to colleagues stationed in the Middle East encouraging them to take time off now (and max out their vacation allotments) so that they can have a productive last half of the year. So you want them to use up their PTO because you can’t be bothered to extend the courtesy of PTO because of WAR? And then when that’s all used up and the latter half of this year continues to be a crazed rabid barrel of monkeys, you’ll what, fire them for needing more leave? Are all CEOs required to turn in half their brains when they get into the C-suite? FFS!

Paying bills! I was shocked to see our near-$4000 credit card bill. I’d totally forgotten that 75% of the summer camps were paid in this month, along with the payments for Spring Break that included one nice dinner, along with a lot of contributions to struggling folks.

Year 6, Day 346: It’s been six weeks and my cucumber seeds still aren’t germinating. I’m guessing our soil temperature just isn’t warm enough, though I could swear that it’s roughly the same weather we always have. So disappointing. My lettuce and onion seeds have never germinated, so I’m starting to think the real problem here is me. Oh but cutting back the blackberry bush last year was the right move! It’s put out several new branches covered in leaves now so I need to come up with a way to tag the branches as primocane or floricane as we get into the growing seasons.

We’ve been slowly filling up our Got Sneakers? bag since January 2024. They ask you not to send their giant FedEx bag until it’s full, and we don’t give up our shoes til they are worn through so it’s taken us a while but I think it’s nearly full enough to ship out. They used to pay $0.25 for the recyclable condition shoes but they don’t anymore so we just send these to keep them out of the landfill. I hope it does, anyway, they say: “All heavily used and damaged footwear is recycled to reuse materials or to convert waste into new energy.” Looks like our assessment of what was worn all the way through didn’t match theirs and we made a couple dollars from the last bag. Who knows, maybe we’ll make a buck or two off this bag.

Year 6, Day 347: Nicole and Maggie got me thinking about my sibling and the last time I saw a picture of him, he was basically like a feral hermit. Despite our always rocky relationship, thinking of that image of him hurts my heart.

Commenting on an older Nicole and Maggie post, they also got me thinking about how I’m most productive when I have something specific to avoid. I procrastinate when I don’t feel like doing That Thing but because there’s no end to the amount of work I have to do, it doesn’t feel like procrastination. It’s now redefined it as re-prioritizing. But if I know I need to do something I’ve been putting off, tattling on myself works pretty well. Telling a friend that it needs doing is often enough to make me do it. Maybe that IS a function of guilt.

$50 and one smog check later, my 24 year old car is good for another year on the road. I’m hoping we can hit 30 years and 250K miles before we have to replace it.

Year 6, Day 348: A friend shared amazing news that enabled them to retire early and I’m thrilled to my toes for them. So glad that a genuinely good thing has happened for a genuinely good person that I care about.

$$$. I found a set of cute sweaters for Christmas gifts. I DID considered off-brand types but they weren’t significantly cheaper than the brand name on clearance so I went with the original brand, picking from only the clearance bin designs.

Year 6, Day 349: Kaiser is finally starting to be affected by all the anti-vaccine bullshit from this administration. We used to be able to get 6 month boosters for the COVID vaccine under our own decision making. This year, we can’t. I did talk directly with one of the pediatricians who shared that Kaiser has been keeping their own data on COVID and it’s lower than previous years, though admitted that some of that is self reporting (or lack thereof) to go along with the officially reported diagnostics and hospitalizations. I’m trying to decide what this means for our year and how we protect ourselves. I was thrashed by a “mere cold” more than once this year.

Money: I made a second sale on Poshmark, that’s another $7 we can put away.

April 6, 2026

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (305)

Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area

Year 6, Day 339: Taking a minute to be oh so very grateful that I’m not sick right now. I spent so many weeks of this year flattened like a pancake from the sick and fatigue that I get flashbacks sometimes. I am so so grateful that I’ve managed to stay at my rough baseline of yuck, uncomplicated by some virus or another, for three whole weeks.

We took the kids to see Mychal Threets talk and then to explore a new-to-us park that PiC’s noticed several times. It was huge and there were friendly dogs there too so I got a really good dog fix and they got to play at a pretty neat playground. It was soul-cleansing.

Money: Ah ha! Costco gas receipts are valid for the ibotta “any receipt” redemption thing. $0.25 in our pocket.

Year 6, Day 340: I’ve been thinking about things I’d rather do/enjoy doing. I love working around and taking care of animals. I like cleaning and bandaging up wounds (also for humans, not just critters). I don’t enjoy the constant needs of human infants or baby animals, that’s a bit too much. I don’t want to go back to school and I have never gotten past my antipathy for math and my brain doesn’t hold on to new information as well as it used to so probably medical training isn’t in the cards but I would like to take that 3 day wilderness survival care training class. I wish it weren’t 3 days, though.

Put all together, this means I’d like to be a part time basic injuries only Night Nurse / pet bather (not groomer, I can bathe dogs, clean ears, and trim nails but I can’t clip and make them pretty) / pet less intensive care treater. The last time I did a flight of fancy for my future career was when I was 17, working full time, saying I’d like to be paid to do X. After months of applications, I got a very low paying job to do X, and built my entire career up from that by acquiring a whole lot more similar skills. Maybe it’s time to see if putting that out in the universe will work again. *Patient hat on*

Year 6, Day 341: Text I received: “Territorial Seed Company: Growing basil at home is a game-changer for flavor!” Not if it just DIES ON YOU. Harumph. I bought both sweet basil and Thai basil plants last year, planted them in the garden, and two weeks later they were all dead. #bitter Every time someone says that it’s so frugal to grow your own herbs I silently demand to know exactly how they’re being kept alive because I missed that class.

Year 6, Day 342: I was reading this article from Kiplingers, How to Protect Yourself and Others From a Troubled Adult Child: A Lesson from Real Life, and this line struck me: “Alex made clear that his parents refused to have Gabe arrested — and he could still be, for assault, vandalism, terrorist threats — and taken to a mental facility. I spoke about this with two clinical psychologists, who asked not to be identified because they are not involved in Gabe’s case. They both indicated that the fact that he has not been arrested is evidence of the parents being caught in a spiral of enabling.”

It reminded me of something my biodad said to me when I was a kid. “Even if a parent knew of a kid’s wrongdoing (or vice versa), I still have to protect that family member from outsiders if the police showed up.” 8 year old me felt like that was off somehow but couldn’t put the reason into words. It occurs to me now that even if he wasn’t laying groundwork, he absolutely believed he deserved to be bailed out of all his problems by his parents, then his sibling(s), and later, me and there’s definitely a corollary to that early belief.

Year 6, Day 340: Well. That was short-lived. JB came home with a sore throat and a cough and since they have insisted on bunking with me since my last depressive/suicidal cycle, I now have some version of what they have. I’m starting to think that it’s unwise to express gratitude for health because the universe takes that as an invitation.

Money: This headline made me snort “Gas in US hits $4 a gallon”. It’s been over $5 here for so long I can’t remember when it hit that amount, but just two days ago I saw a few stations charging well over $6. PiC was wondering why Americans are so obsessed with gas prices. I don’t really know the answer to that but I speculate it’s to do with our national culture of driving over public transit and ever-larger cars. Especially in California, we tend to also drive incredibly long distances regularly in addition to the trend to large cars. (Collective us, not us-us because he bike commutes as much as he can and I don’t commute at all.) Mind, this isn’t about deeper impacts of gas on the economy like the cost of delivering groceries which is actually a big problem. The reactions we’re thinking of are all people who are primarily concerned with their personal price at the pump.