About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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April 5, 2022
On Money
Income
Our primary income comes from our full time jobs. We have minimal income from investing in index funds and dividend stocks (all reinvested). We earn money on the side to supplement our main incomes. We get a bit of income from Swagbucks, cash back sites (Rakuten, Mr.Rebates) and affiliate links to Bookshop and Amazon sometimes pay a micro-commission to keep the blog running. There are ways to support the blog and our charitable giving in the sidebar.
Our long term goal is to replace our day job income with passive income before my health prevents me from working. I know from my Mom’s experience that qualifying for or relying on disability is incredibly tough or near impossible here in CA. Aside from that, I aim to do my best to make the most of what we can do while we can.
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Dividend income. We received $270 in dividends from the stocks portfolio. Our YTD monthly average is $188. Not nothing, but also not self sustaining.
Tax refunds. We had a series of mistakes in my accountant missing our cost basis on some stock sales going back to 2017 which inflated our taxable income. We’ve been correcting that for the past 18 or so months and the refunds have been slowly trickling in. We have received $1300, two more filings worth $3000 and I’m still waiting for the big kahuna to be processed for a whopping $5200. All of those will likely go right back to paying the tax bill due this year or next depending on when they’re filed and paid. Probably next year since the IRS is s-l-o-w.
We’re going to be fined for all the Form 8608 that she missed too.
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April 4, 2022
Year 2 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 3, Day 10: Somehow, it’s never easier in the way you’d think it’ll be when just one of us has the day off. One of us is trying to use that time to get a lot of work done and then overdoes it, leaving the other one to overdo it with childcare and meal prep, and then everyone’s grumpy.
On top of that, Mondays are definitely the day you find out that someone screwed up two months ago. That despite your weekly confirmations that progress was being made on this project and finding out that not only was it not being made, it was never going to be worked on ever, and all your reassurances to dozens of stakeholders that it would be ready soon were wrong. Yes definitely a Monday thing. Chewed up precious precious time I did not have to spare. Chewed up patience I did not have to spare. Harumph.
Today felt like Friday. It was not.
*****
Smol times… While this is my favorite age range for babies/toddlers, it’s also the time they start the real tantrums when thwarted and it lasts longer than the time it takes to distract them with something else that’s shiny. They’re also really quick to spot anything you’re holding and declaring they MUST SEE IT. So thaaaat’s fun. (more…)
April 1, 2022
1. I can hide under my covers and check out books from the library on my phone and read them. 8 year old me would be SO JEALOUS of this kind of access.
2. There’s an earring maker whose crafts I love admiring but have held back from buying anything for a bit because Smol keeps ripping out my earrings and it’s not fun. I did find a pair that are perfect for a Christmas gift for a friend and since I was paying for shipping anyway, decided to pick out one bright colorful pair to go with my bright colorful dresses I bought a couple years ago. I normally avoid bright and colorful but I’ve been thinking that I could try branching out a little and even accessorize! I only agonized over spending the money a little bit. For a while.
3. This Direct Aid campaign to help Afghani citizens in dire need passed their goal but I think we should keep contributing as much as long as we are able. I’m really glad that Shep shared this last week.
Challenges this week: The top of my foot has been swollen for a week and I haven’t been able to convince it to stop. If it sticks around a few more days, I’m naming it.
We’re acutely aware of the continued devastation that Russian is wreaking on Ukraine and it’s all horrible.
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March 28, 2022
Year 3 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 3, Day 3: As promised, the Things Got Even Harder edition!
Challenge 1: 3 hours of sleep, y’all. Painsomnia had me deep in the marrow and it burned until 3 am. Of course, right when I finally drifted off, Smol’s white noise app, which runs on an iPhone so old it’s literally splitting apart, shut off and up popped Smol like a chirping jack o’lantern. I fixed it and went back to bed quietly cursing, and finally slept at 4 am. Fab. U. Lous.
Perfect way to start an incredibly hard first day of a tough week.
Challenge 2: PiC had to go on site for work today. That left me with Smol most of the day. So naturally….
Challenge 3: Smol woke up after a 45 minute nap sobbing fit to wake the dead. I’d prepared myself for a short nap and so I maintained my emotional equilibrium. I sat on the floor with them patting and humming, my butt going entirely numb, waiting for them to calm down. Usually they take about 10 minutes to stop crying and then signal they’re ready to get going. Today was weird. Of course it was. They kept kneeing me in the stomach when I stopped humming or patting, so I kept it up, working on my phone as much as I could while also patting and humming. My arms and butt were losing feeling steadily. But I figured I’d enjoy the cuddle however long I had it, it’s rare that they sit still anymore. Then they finally sat up, I got ready to get up, and FLOP. They burrowed onto my left shoulder, right cheek bright red. They’d been sleeping! And were going to keep on sleeping. Alrighty. So they got a catnap laying on me while I did what little I could on my phone. Momentary regret that my phone is too decrepit to have more work apps so I could make the most of that time.
Challenge 4: When they felt ready to get up, it was time to go go go for three hours. Time for food, play, more play, try to cram in a minute or two of work here and there whenever they veered off to do their own thing for a bit. Already tired, this was a particularly rough patch.
Challenge 5: Realizing I botched my own weekly meal / dinner plans by not ordering earlier. They sold out. Sigh. I’m too tired to kick myself. I’m just disappointed. We’ll figure it out.
*****
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March 25, 2022
1. I wish I’d also gotten the manufacturer coupon to stack with the deal but I found our usual brand shampoo and conditioner (2 each) from Walgreens for $20 (before tax) and $5 Walgreens reward cash, making it $7.50 for a pair. I’d have had to buy 5 sets plus their $10 off $40 to come close to the same pricing from Target.
2. Smol’s very vocal but has only experimented with lots of different sounds without any real attempt to assign meaning to them yet. Still. They still don’t call any of us anything, we are just “high pitched excited shriek”. So it was a real shocker when they were asking for apples and SAID “Ah-pa” several times. Practically a word!
Giving
I’ll do another round of donations to support refugees in Ukraine and trans kids in the states.
Shep shared to their friend Jelena and friends’ campaign to provide food and supplies for those in Afghanistan.
Arlan Hamilton shared Beauty 2 the Streetz.
Challenges this week: Kid germs are the pits.
We’re having to schedule activities for JB and family plans through the end of summer but we still know nothing about under-5 vaccines. Sigh. I’m using this NPR page to keep an eye on the status of the review of vaccines. This latest on Moderna efficacy has me disheartened. I feel like I’m grasping at straws trying to find hope in the CNN overview.
Return to work has been especially rough on the adults.
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March 22, 2022
Academics
JB has been struggling with math reasoning. They’ve memorized enough answers that they have been spending the past semester refusing to use their strategies and literally coming up with their answers and writing out the strategies afterward to match their answer. No wonder they don’t know what the hell they’re doing when faced with a word problem.
This wakes up all my personal math related anxiety and deep fear that they’re going through what I did with math. I never did understand the concepts that my brain elided over in geometry and algebra. It literally would not stick no matter what the teacher or tutor explained and I felt dumb as a rock. I don’t want that for my kid!
We’re tackling this from multiple angles. PiC and I are both doing daily reinforcement in the form of conversational pop quizzes and sharing our personal strategies for solving arithmetic mentally. Most of that is PiC, I am terrible at this. And thank goodness we have support for the rest of this school year from their tutor but they’re not going to have that in second grade. I hate this and I hate that their teacher didn’t bother to tell us when this first started.
Life with Smol Acrobat
Smol’s been working on drinking from open cups, a messy proposition at the best of times, and these are not the best of times. After dozens of tries, and fights because they wanted to hold the cup of water independently and throw it over their head but I wouldn’t let go entirely and therefore am just the worst person ever, something clicked and they more frequently tried to drink than to shake the cup. They still shake it and still get a face full of water.
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When we realized we had six more months without childcare, I looked through Lakeshore’s catalog for some educational things to help us get through. Everything was so expensive that I held off and thankfully they have hit a stage where anything “new” is entertaining.
JB used to rummage through the recycling bag regularly. Now all our recycling gets handed to Smol for a day before it goes out.
Smol has the standard sets of blocks handed down from JB. Other perfectly acceptable toys and games: a jar without the lid and a spoon to walk around stirring. Bonus games: wielding the spoon but lost the jar. Also wearing the jar on their fist but lost the spoon. Oh found the spoon while holding the jar! Throw yourself at mom in excitement. My take home kit from the dentist is excellent to chew on. A newspaper torn into strips, we hand the sheaf back and forth, one by one.
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Smol is very into animals. They ask for each of their little plastic animals to be held up for them to kiss. They love tiny fingerpuppet animals, those all get a kiss. Sera comes in for lots and lots of pets and attempted cuddles which are still very confusing to her at all times.
*****
Those little eyes are hilarious.
They’ve been practicing a wicked burn sideeye, the intensity of which can scorch a trail across its path, but for the pleased mischievous grin that bursts out after a particularly successful glare.
When PiC and I stand side by side facing them, Smol’s eyes flick back and forth between the two of us faster and faster until you could set a metronome to the flicking. They are mightily amused by this too. As am I.
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Pupdate
Sera isn’t super pleased about this development but I’ve woken up to one of my dog caring responsibilities that I’ve been leaving by the wayside from overwhelm: dental care. I feel terribly that I’ve not been attentive to her teeth but I know it’s because I literally could not handle one more caring thing. Now I can, so I do. I brushed her teeth gently 5 times a week but will likely need to budget for a dental cleaning for her this year. Sigh. It was likely necessary this year anyway, I think she’s ten this year if you can believe that.
She is not a great paw at hide and seek. I had tucked myself into a corner of the bedroom for a quiet moment. At the sound of paws in the hallway, I called her over for a pet.
No response.
I called her again.
No response.
I poked my head out and saw her staring fixedly at the wall, confused. I called again. She jumped and then came over wagging her tail.
She had no idea where I was. 🤦🏻♀️ Her nose is apparently not that good.
Precious Moments
JB explaining cotton candy: they basically take clouds and turn them into sugar?
JB: what’s the letter at the end of the rainbow?
We look at each other.
PiC: w.
JB: Ugh! Don’t tell her!
Me: I know how to spell rainbow!!
Smol Acrobat holding a twin pack of toothbrushes runs past: yahhh yah yahhhh!!!
March 21, 2022
Year 2 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 2, Day 361: *The day numbering reflects when I started chronicling our lives in the pandemic, about a week or two into the shutdowns.
This two year “anniversary” of when our lives all turned upside and stayed upside down has been bonus difficulty levels with a yucky cherry on top. We’re all frustrated and angry because even with little bits of “normalcy” like in person school for JB, everything else remains so topsy turvy that the stressors outweigh any good exponentially.
I’m starting to feel some resentment that folks have routine childcare support and we don’t even though I care about them and want them to have it. Or envy of that resource at least. I’m most definitely resentful that companies are acting like things can go back to normal now and are scheduling in person travel and conferences as if we parents of under 5s don’t have ENTIRELY unprotected kids. I’m so angry and tired of feeling like every minute of every single day is a slog because we can never take a break. We can swap off childminding for an hour or two at a time, yes, but there are always chores to do and there is always household stuff to do and we are always fighting against a tsunami of Needs to carve out any time for ourselves. And then I feel like an absolute heel for complaining, even just in my head or here, because there are lots of people who are in far far far worse situations.
*****
Some of this is because things that were already hard are going to get even harder. PiC has to go back to work on site. He now has conferences that require him to travel. I have absolutely ZERO idea how we’re going to manage that.
Spring break and summer are fast approaching. We’ve looked at multiple scenarios and they’re mostly impossible to manage because it adds hours of commute in addition to our work and Smol Acrobat schedules. And no matter what we choose, daycare or some combination of camps and at home virtual stuff, it’s going to cost $2000 a month just for JB.
I broke down and cried today. I don’t know how much more I can give.
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