About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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May 3, 2022
On Money
Income
Our primary income comes from our full time jobs. We have minimal income from investing in index funds and dividend stocks (all reinvested). We earn money on the side to supplement our main incomes. We get a bit of income from Swagbucks, cash back sites (Rakuten, Mr.Rebates) and affiliate links to Bookshop and Amazon sometimes pay a micro-commission to keep the blog running. There are ways to support the blog and our charitable giving in the sidebar.
Our long term goal is to replace our day job income with passive income before my health prevents me from working. I know from my Mom’s experience that qualifying for or relying on disability is incredibly tough or near impossible here in CA. Aside from that, I aim to do my best to make the most of what we can do while we can.
***
Dividend income. We received $284.46 in dividends from the stocks portfolio. All reinvested, of course.
Little gripe: I’ve been trying to hit the $20 cash out threshold at Ibotta for months and months. I’m determined to get that last bit of the way there before I close my account. Just another $1.30 to go!
Both federal and state refunds landed already from our 2021 filing. Also, one more tax amendment refund came in as well. Everything went straight to our savings. I joked PiC could have $35 of the amendment refund since they calculated a slightly higher amount than we submitted for but ha ha just kidding he can have it when we retire. That leaves me waiting for two federal and one state refund. Naturally the biggest refund has been on hold for the longest time for evaluation. Ugh.
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May 2, 2022
Year 3 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 3, Day 38: Yesterday was a rollercoaster day: lots of conflict with JB; made egg salad for today’s lunches; worked some but mostly laid down as much as I could. After all that, I anticipated today would be Extra Rough. BUT *happy surprise* the day started with slightly lower than nausea-inducing pain. Dare I hope that today’s pain and fatigue on a PiC away at work day will be approximately at normal levels rather than the past few weeks of awful? I need to practice having hope. I’m going to pace myself, not take the emergency meds, and hope for the best.
*****
These sparkly flats made me smile. A shame they can’t possibly have all the cushioning I need in shoes but I appreciate their adorableness.
*****
We have entered the age of tantrum and going boneless. I didn’t miss this!
Our three hours today were packed: We read two books, then had a big bowl of fruit for snack. Egg salad for lunch. Washed up and then Smol asked for some time with the vacuum. We vacuumed the closet and once it was cleaned, moved along to trying a new to us toy. Once they got bored, I suggested a walk so they brought me some socks. We took Sera for a poke-along 9-cracker walk. We all got very brisk fresh air. Smol pooped out at the end of our walk on their last cracker and kept sitting down on the sidewalk but they had plenty of energy to continue playing in the backyard once I hauled them there like a sack of squirming potatoes. Sera sunbathed while we played, and had music time. Smol was increasingly whinier with each “no” until they finally caved and admitted with their sign “all done”. They slowly settled down for a nap while I hit the books again and did as much work as I could.
Physically, I’m bone tired, even my face hurts, but I don’t want to crawl under my desk and stay there. This is definitely better than last week.
PiC picked JB up from school while I kept hacking away at piles of work and minded both kids for a bit after Smol woke. I did just about as much as I could stand and hit the leftovers for dinner. Thank goodness for leftovers. I’ll try to cook dinner tomorrow morning.
Smol development!: We got to work on boundaries over dinner. They Greatly Desired the fortune cookies across the table. I allowed them to have half of one. They wanted “more, please.” I said sorry, no, those are not ours. We had ours. Their face scrunched up in dismay and they squealed with anger. Nope. Face scrunched up and this time, actual tears. Still no. Higher pitched screech. Still no. We experienced a new octave, prolonged. Nope.
We worked through all the upset and emotion, we had a little chat about how even if we ask politely sometimes the answer is no, and we definitely don’t get things by way of tantrums. They eventually calmed down and moved on.
Year 3, Day 39: I’ve never enjoyed drinking a cup of coffee in my life, much as I want to, but I’ve made many coffees for PiC over the years and he always claims they were good. He takes it seriously enough that I don’t think he’d pander to my ego if they weren’t good. Since my experimenting with the French press a few days ago, I’ve been dubbed the superior coffeemaker. It turns out that’s because I don’t follow directions. Or rather, I don’t remember them. I asked him for his ratio of grounds to water and then promptly forgot. I feel like he said something like 1 tbsp to 4 oz? Maybe? But it was late and I wasn’t that invested in remembering so I brewed it my way, at twice the concentration and voila! Liquid gold! He was duly impressed until I revealed the ratio and then he was appalled at my profligate use of beans. What? It made an excellent cup didn’t it? So the next batch I made, he got to choose: liquid gold or meh silver?
*****
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April 29, 2022
- The book fair has come to town and boy howdy do I love the book fair even if I don’t buy anything.
2. After multiple fails with the Waterloo brand, I realized we still have Spindrift water. Turns out I like it better when the alternatives are cherry yuck flavors from Waterloo! My sparkling water experiments are on hold until we get through everything we have. Plus side: I’m doing a little better with hydration given the push to drink up the existing waters.
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April 26, 2022
Two months ago, when PiC started the research into swim programs, I appreciated the legwork, but also had negative desire to add anything to our schedules and decisionmaking and budget.
BUT I took my deep breaths and did my best to focus on staring into the middle distance where I didn’t obstruct, if I couldn’t embrace a future with swim lessons in it. They started up this month, once he found a weekly lesson at a time that isn’t too terribly disruptive, at astronomical prices. We used to pay $20-30 a lesson, it’s $60 a lesson with this program *faint*. But we simply cannot get back into the YMCA’s program. They’re overbooked for months out. JB is over the moon about this one. They love being back in the water, they have three swimsuits to wear, they’re all around ecstatic. I’m glad about that part. It helps a bit with my sadness over their not having had swim for two+ years. Thank goodness for PiC doing all the heavy lifting on that and on Spring Break activities and taking that week off to mind the kids.
*****
Kids as humans
I was struggling with JB’s transition from Little Kid to not so Little but still not Big Kid last year. Because of pandemic haze, it felt like I missed so much. Now that they are definitely Kid, even if not yet Big Kid(? I don’t know what that transition point is) I have this perhaps unreasonable fear rearing up that as much as we foster their individuality, along with civility and humanity, what if I don’t much like the person they are as an adult? I don’t like most people as it is, and we are so dissimilar. I won’t try to mold them into my image but their personality is so far from restful, and that’s great if that makes them happy and fulfilled, but am I the only parent who wonders if they’ll get along with their kids as adults? Or whether their kid will like them as a person?
I hope we’ll always love each other and enjoy each other’s company. I hope this is just a phase since everyone must have less favorite age ranges.
Life with Smol Acrobat
I’m wondering, and maybe worrying a little, how behind Smol is at this point.
They’re growing physically and are engaged with us but we don’t do directed developmental stuff with them like they’d do in daycare. I hadn’t been taking the time at mealtimes to work on their utensils use. They still don’t respond as programmed to the clean up song, they’re still in the emptying buckets and putting them on their head stage.
We do music and reading and counting and the alphabet and lots of outside time but … I’m getting a bit more concerned about what we should be fostering and how to make it happen.
I can’t quite remember what JB was capable of at this age, though I think they did have cleaning up down pat by now. I do remember that they met their now BFF around this age-ish. Definitely by 18-19 months. At that age, that kid was astoundingly articulate already. I remember that JB wasn’t but they weren’t for a long while, speaking articulately was a struggle for a long while. The two kids were at opposite ends of the verbal spectrum so that gives me no real idea of where Smol should be.
I’m wondering if all the other kids at this age are competently feeding themselves. Since first wondering this, I’ve leaned hard into making myself not feed them directly, assisting them with the spoon instead and encouraging their independent feeding more but sometimes all they do is fork around and won’t eat anything at all unless I put the food in their mouth. I can’t help but worry that I’ve/we’ve held them back because we simply haven’t had time or energy to patiently let them feed themselves (or more realistically paint themselves in food).
*****
Maybe my favorite thing right now is once every night during dinner, they grab my hand and lay their cheek on it. Just a little headrest. It’s perplexing but cute and they get a whole lot of giggles out of it.
They also like hugging my feet. I don’t understand that either but whatever. It’s cute.
*****
We learned to sign “read” and to high five this month. Not well but they’re trying and it’s fun to see a new skill stick after a few tries. We also, after I mulled it over above, worked on spoon skills and they’re slowly getting better at scooping food into a spoon and then into their mouth. Toddler coordination and instinct to fling things aside, they lack the motivation to feed themselves so I have to push. They’re used to me helping and it’s a tough thing to wean them off the expectation that I’ll help when I’m right there.
But the more we do it, the more they build up enthusiasm for self feeding. It’s incremental but it’s still progress.
Pupdate
Sera is starting to visibly show age these past couple of months. Her muzzle is getting a bit of that salt flecked look and she’s slowing down a little bit. She’s still strong as a little ox and has her zoomies but she’s lost interest in playing fetch and just wants to sunbathe. It’s weird, we adopted Seamus when he was this age and he was in his prime. I worked on him for months to combat his allergies, bring his weight up and put gloss back into his coat. At 10 and 11 years, he was strong as a bull and still enthusiastic as heck. At 14 he was doing backflips to catch a ball. I spotted some dryness in her coat and I’m going to start her on his sardines regimen to help put the shine back in.
She’s Smol Acrobat’s dog and I hope they have at least six years with her. They love trying to cuddle her even if she simply tolerates it.
They’re good for each other the same way she was good for Seamus even if he only tolerated her cuddles.
Precious Moments
Smol’s obsession with Sera’s food bowl has reached a new level. They brought their Pikachu friend to the bowl and stuck his head in – feeding time for friends! Next day, they picked up the bowl themselves and walked around pretending to eat from it. Sera had absolutely no opinion on the matter.
The moment Smol cries, JB drops whatever they’re doing and swoops in to the rescue. “I’m here I’m here I love you you’re ok!”
*****
JB making up an origin story for the shark plushie: “Did you know why sharkie had to come live with us? His mom and dad were trying to eat him. And his brothers and sisters were too! Because sharks eat sharks. And the other fish wouldn’t help him because they thought he was trying to trick them.”
*****
So this was absolutely amazing. I didn’t think anything would come of it but for a few weeks, before putting them down, I’d ask Smol if they were all done and we’d head in for their bedtime routine when they signed all done.
On Sunday, it was getting close to the end of Smol’s period of awake time. They tend to do better with 3 hours of awake time between naps now. We’d played with some toys, and then I was reading to them. We were still ten minutes out from naptime, I thought. Partway through a second book, they reached out, closed it, and signed “all done”. I said oh, ok, you’re ready for sleep? They climbed up on me and put their head on my shoulder like an emphatic yes. We went through the routine of brushing teeth, changing into pajamas and reading one more book and then they were out like a light a few minutes after being put down. It was perfect! I am still marveling that they accurately judged their own need and communicated.
That ended after a week. But it was lovely while it lasted!
:: The age difference between the two is both helpful and jarring at the same time. Growing up, everyone was always two years apart from their siblings so this is a bit out of my lived experience.
April 25, 2022
Year 3 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 3, Day 31: JB has another wiggly tooth and we’ve gone from the excitement of having a wiggly tooth to Extreme Angst Because It Hurrrrtttssssss. I hope we’re not stuck in this stage for long.
*****
JB has the day off from school and it’s PiC’s day in the office so I get to work with both kids at home with me! Yippee!
/extreme sarcasm
Since I’m still in a bad fatigue flare-up, I took my in-case-of-emergency (really bad fatigue) days pill and hoped it would help. This is the second time I’ve tried it. The first time was when my brain fog was physically painful, and I couldn’t tell if the meds were why it partially cleared in the afternoon Today’s experience: it doesn’t give me energy or reduce pain. It paused the incredibly painful crashing downward spiral I’ve been experiencing every day for the past few weeks. It’s hitting a hold button (and leaves a bad taste in my mouth). I crashed later in the night so the pause analogy seems appropriate.
JB was assigned to doing Correspondence and self directed activities when Smol was napping and to play with Smol part of the time they were awake so I could get through small bits of work. I’m doing the serious Smol stuff: diaper changes, feeding (OMG this is such a pain), and navigating transitions.
We survived until PiC got home at 430 pm. I wish I felt better but we limped over the finish line and a finish is a finish.
*****
PiC met a parent at the park yesterday who speaks only Japanese at home with their daughter so their daughter is primarily fluent in Japanese and man do we feel like failures. Neither of us are fluent enough in our secondary languages to pass on much to the kids, but I’d hoped to pass on at least what we have. That’s not going well.
Also under the Feelings category, I’m pretty sure that Smol isn’t hitting any of their age appropriate milestones. They have a lot of babble but no words. It worries me. Yes kids hit them all at different ages but until we get past this I’m going to worry. JB struggled with this too and that was a really rough ride for us all.
Year 3, Day 32: The kids are both big enough to be shifted out of their current car seat situations (Smol from their infant / toddler and JB from their convertible seat they’ve been using for the past 5 years). Smol will get JB’s seat and JB’s getting a new booster. I ordered the new booster yesterday with our 20% off coupon from trading in an expired baby seat and am so mentally wiped that I thought “April 21” was two weeks from now. No, it’s actually two days from today. So yay! I hate hate hate that I haven’t been able to haul the kids on my own in part because the car seat was always too hard on my hands. Now, I may be able to take them SOME places.
***** (more…)
April 22, 2022
1. We bought an apple pie from a bakery on Monday and we’ve been sharing a big slice for dessert each night since. $23 for a treat all week.
2. PiC also had surprise cheesecake happen earlier this week and it tasted like the Real Thing. I haven’t had that in a while. Nomz.
Giving: Child and Family Relief – feeding families in Afghanistan.
Cars are more expensive than expected, Quiara needs a bit more help to get over the hump for their move out of Arkansas.
Challenges this week: Childcare. Please. But no, none for us because ….
Vaccines for under-5s, please.
Still zero reliable news on our vaccine prospects. It’s so incredibly frustrating to both of us here and all of our circle who are Still Waiting. Yesterday there was a flurry of news saying “maybe June” but they’ve been saying that since December. “Maybe Jan. Maybe Feb. Data in early April!” The goalposts keep moving and I just cannot keep hoping.
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April 18, 2022
Year 3 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 3, Day 24: Well hello Monday. Starting at midnight with the utterly brutal pain that made it hard to breathe, and then moving right along to the four am wakeup with Smol who somehow managed to drape a blanket completely over themselves like a tiny distressed ghostie and cried for rescue. After a few rounds of patting and signing, they settled back down for a couple more hours. We got our real morning started around 630, that superb night under my belt, with a downpour that didn’t bode well for JB’s playground ambitions.
No wonder I’m tired before I start work. No wonder it felt like two days compressed into one.
*****
Work felt exponentially more repellent than it should (than usual?). Nothing was actually wrong aside from a couple annoying policy problems I have to deal with. It’s probably that I’m just worn to a thread already and now my brain must somehow turn on and do stuff. Yes of course why not.
*****
PiC’s work informed him that he’d had a close contact exposure to COVID at work last week and JB’s school informed us that they had a close contact exposure today. This does nothing good for my frustrations with how much we’ve endured and how stupid policies are right now. (Why did it take his work a WEEK to inform him??)
Year 3, Day 25: Two huge reliefs. My pain was a bit less than yesterday’s so I got to sleep and Smol slept right through to 7 am so I got almost 6 unbroken hours! Huge. Not restorative but at least it’s not taking two steps backwards like most nights.
*****
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