By: Revanche

Wait, why do I still feel broke?

May 13, 2008

There’s got to be a flaw in my planning somewhere here. There’s money in the bank, so why do I feel broke? Because it’s all spoken for? Because I’m shifting money from one account to another to cover the rent check? Probably. I worry that I’ve been reckless and irresponsible somehow, and that’s why I still have to pull together funds, and why I feel so danged broke. Is this my rainy-day version of Bag Lady Syndrome?

I have a certain amount of money that I’m allowed in my expense account per paycheck, and then everything left over goes to rent. I must be sorely underbudgeted in the rent department, because I’m coming up short part way through the month, and the expense account has to make up the difference.

This is me freaking out a little. Again, money is in the bank, but it’s all for real emergencies or upcoming expenses. I’ve got nothing freed up for the here and now. But my planning couldn’t have been that far off. It’s supposed to be really quite close to my actual expenditures, so why the difficulty in pulling it all together?

Hmmm ….. ok, here’re the problems: The bills for the multiple deductibles are all coming due at the same time. The truck still hasn’t been sold. This is the first time I’ve got a surplus set aside for auto insurance, so I’m still feeling the effects of juryrigging that into the system, as the last payment is on the same credit card. And PaDucky was in a tight spot last month and I had to lend him a substantial amount, only 60% of which he’s paid back in time for me to make up the rent.

So, $2120 of the $2227 credit card bill I’m about to pay is on actual bills. Honest-to-goodness, had to pay ’em, BILLS. Another $50 is for medical stuff; I’ll be reimbursed from my FSA. That means I spent $50 on myself. Ten to eat out, seven to treat a friend to Pinkberry, and $33 on an outfit I’m still feeling guilty about and haven’t admitted to buying until now. *oooops!*

*deep breath* So I was only $33 irresponsible. There’s still a juggle, and I’m still going to be struggling to make the ends meet because I’m NOT allowed to delve into other funds for expenses, but at least it wasn’t because I was careless. Silver lining?

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