By: Revanche

Flirt me not

August 2, 2008

Single Ma’s post on Flirting and Finances made me laugh out loud for more than one reason. First, I know that girl’s got game, and it was just not on on that day. But second, when her game’s off, she sounds a lot like regular me.

Perhaps there is a link between flirting abilities and financial personalities. My inability to recognize, and therefore participate in, flirting correlates directly to my preference for slow and steady finances without any of the hot stock tip business. Emphasis on hot. Hot, apparently, makes me nervous and slow.

Now, I’m no superquick lady like Ms. Ma over there, but I can usually hold my own when I’m comfortable with (normal) people. I find myself startlingly off game around certain (confident, attractive, talkative) people, or completely clueless around others (hello, friend zone!).

In other words, she brought back some *fond* memories that still make me chuckle. And shake my head. And sometimes hang my head, even when I’m alone. Because, Dear Lord. Come take a peek at my past “experience” and you’ll see what I mean. These are not in any particular order except in the strength of how embarrassingly dimwitted I felt when the lightbulb came on. In most cases, I was not the one who turned on the lightbulb, sadly.

Me, annoyed: Why have you been acting so weird all quarter? What’s the matter with you?
Friend Boy, abashed, and apparently heartbroken: Well, I just … I just realized that a guy like me could never be with a girl like you, and I’m just having a really hard time with it, and it’s just me, don’t worry, it’s not your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong, etc. *rambles on for a while*
Me, blithely having stopped listening after “it’s just me, don’t worry”: I know I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t do anything at all. So, we’re cool? Cool.

Oy. Heartless, clueless, brainless! Some kind of a triple threat there. I’d known this friend for over a year and nev-er had an inkling that he was carrying a torch for me. And then I assumed, well, he’s talked himself out of making a move sooooooo we’re good? Yeah? All good?

Cute Boy: *shifting from side to side, kicking the bottom of my foot. Trying to carry a conversation with me.*
Me: Stop kicking my foot. That’s abusive behavior.
Cute Boy, looking at me oddly: I’m not being abusive.
Me, quirking eyebrow, still oblivious: Yes it is. What else do you call kicking someone?
Cute Boy, exasperated: Flirting. I’m flirting with you!
Me: Shut up, liar. *thinking* Oh……….. really?

Seriously. I’m an idiot.

Boy: May I kiss you?
Me, startled, looking around wildly: I have gum in my mouth!

Um, probably not the answer he was looking for. I still think that was practical. How awkward would choking on my gum have been?

3 Responses to “Flirt me not”

  1. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    The first one is so incredibly sweet but awkward.. aww… and the second one makes me laugh “I’m FLIRTING WITH YOU”

    Boys. they’ll never learn.

    Flirt with me by buying me chocolate. That’s what BF did and with his mad cooking skills, secured the deal. LOL

  2. 1001 Petals says:

    Those are funny 🙂

    I used to accidentally flirt with guys I thought were cute. Unconsciously, I suppose. Which is bad when they’re guys you really shouldn’t be flirting with!! (like co workers)

  3. Revanche says:

    FB: What’s worse? When it hit me later like a ton of brick that he was serious about it. ’cause I didn’t really believe it at the time.

    I assume that I’m frustratingly dense, to boys.

    1001 petals: Whoops! I wonder if I accidentally flirt without knowing it, and that’s why I’m so confused when they flirt?

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