By: Revanche

Day of normalcy

September 24, 2009

I’m back from the hospital for a day and just checking in.

My iPhone has let me keep up with those of you who have full feeds in Google Reader, but I hope everyone is doing well. Y’all are amusing on Twitter, so that helps me get through the days, too. Just wish I could click on all the links of the enabling shoppers out there to see what goodies you’re perusing. 🙂

My weekend visit doubled from the intended 2-3 days to a full 6 days at the request of the younger sib. Though a full 8 years younger than I, apparently my company was still of value and I could sense that the older sib and mother were both quietly hoping that I would stay and serve as sounding board for the youngster.

Holding a hospital vigil is terribly difficult on the spouse, but she’s a rock. An insanely strong, even-keeled, upbeat rock. It shouldn’t surprise me at all but it’s almost inhuman how strong this couple is: Mr. Dad is fighting so very hard, and Mrs. Mom, from beginning to end, is always able to bear the burden and her kids are free to make the choices that work best in their lives. She makes zero demands, just a few reasonable requests for changes of clothing and has maintained her sense of calm far better than any of us kids. Oddly enough, that frees us all to be as strong or weak as we need to be, and tears have flowed freely. No repression here, folks. Not really, anyway.

She’s only left the hospital three times since the hospitalization ten days ago, and that only to see to some crucial financial matters. It’s our responsibility to keep her company, make sure someone is always with Mr. Dad if she stepped away however briefly, cook dinner, do laundry, clean the home, and just support one another. It’s as guilt-free as you can get. They’re amazing. Can I grow up to be just like both of them, please?

As the “adopted” daughter, I took over the domestic chores. We’d be at the hospital all day and late into the night, and when we got home I’d cook dinner for the next day. That’s my ziti you see up there. I still have a nice little shiny spot on my thumb from accidentally pressing it against the 400 degree oven. Y’all don’t like war wounds so I won’t share a picture of that. 🙂 That’ll last my friend through the week, and I’ll come up with something else for the weekend.

My friend’s the oldest and so is, at times, a complete wreck when he feels the weight of his father’s passing the responsibility for the family to him and his sibs. He’s up to the task though, and knows that he has all kinds of support on the practical matters from me since the running joke is my love of all things financial makes me the father’s favorite son. It’s just heartbreaking because we still had so much to learn from his dad.

In the meantime, I’ve got to run a ton of errands and do something about my online classes. And then make the decision whether I should go back down to the hospital tomorrow, or if I should proceed with my travel plans that were made weeks ago. My heart and mind are going to be here, shouldn’t I be as well?

3 Responses to “Day of normalcy”

  1. If it were me, I’d go.

    Travel plans can always be rescheduled in most cases… *hug*

  2. eemusings says:

    I’d go ahead with the travel, if your heart’s in it.

    They must have been very glad – and grateful – that you were there to support them.

    Lots of virtual hugs!!

  3. Revanche says:

    Thanks for the hugs, ladies. Friend’s father made the decision for me, so no travel for me. Also I thought the funeral was going to be this same weekend but it’s not, after all.

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