Taking a minute to self-evaluate
February 24, 2015
My baseline for “tolerable pain” has inched up yet again. At least half my body is always aching, on fire, swollen, immobilized or whatever fresh indignity has dropped in for a visit.
But I’m living on pain meds just to stay at that baseline. When “not screaming in excruciating pain” is your new “I’m OK”, you start questioning life / choices.
Getting up to 4 hours of sleep per 24 hours, in half and one hour increments feels amazing.
I’m forcing myself to drink as much water as I can hold. Since having LB, and pain shooting up as dramatically as a game winning ball getting spiked, I’m struggling to eat and drink normally. I even made up a little ditty about water to remind myself but I’ve already forgotten the song.
My fingers were dislocated this week and apparently this isn’t surprising to my doctor. Hmm. They just keep on popping out everyday now. Worry when they turn blue, she says. Well….. OK…. I will.
I’ve been alternating between a headache or nausea for days. What’s up with that?
I’m really impatient with my slow healing. Like I needed a whole other heap of pain to make life interesting.
I’m even more impatient with my brain fog. It’s frustrating that I can’t comprehend the numbers in a brief accounting sheet, that half the emails I read have to be saved for later rereading. And re-rereading.
Seamus needs room to play and I hate that we don’t have a yard for him. Expensive way to be able to toss a ball for the dog but it makes me want a house and respectable yard for him. Most days I’m shuffling by inches so PiC does all the walks and more than we’d like are more functional walks than fun. We’d like to do better by him. And since I can’t take him to the park… A park should come to us. In the form of a house and yard.
On the other hand, while I wouldn’t want to buy a house in our current area, I can appreciate the convenience of the location. We have a fair number of grocery stores and food choices, and a decent array of transit. We’re not a good place to visit but it’s a decent starting point to get to somewhere interesting if you know what I mean.
wow sorry to hear you’re going through a lot of pain. š Hope you start to feel better soon!
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Thank you :/ Trying to rest as much as I can, it helps a little bit.
very gentle *hug*
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<3
I’m sorry to hear your pain levels have increased. I’ve seen many references to your illness but nothing specific about your condition. Have you posted about the specifics and is this something that can be cured? I have suffered through a number of pain related disorders, but for the most part have recovered from both of them. (Certainly more aches and pains then the average 35+ year old but nothing unbearable.) I know that pain can be very isolating. I wish you the best!
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Thanks, I hadn’t posted about the specifics as there is no cure for what I’ve got. I’ve sought many kinds of treatment for it for many years and unfortunately very little helps.
I know how rough of a time I had healing and focusing after having our Little Miss. After having a baby can be a rough time with crazy hormones, sleep deprivation, and overwhelming change.
Getting through all that when you’re suffering from crippling pain just isn’t fair. Hope the drugs start kicking in properly soon and that you can get some rest.
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Thank you, every so often I’m pretty annoyed by how unfair it is too š But we’ll make it!
The finger dislocating thing just floors me. That’s no big deal?! Is it happening because the joints are degrading, too? Whoa. I’m so impressed you can get anything done! I hope this passes soon.
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I don’t THINK it’s because the joints are degrading but I may do some followup if it doesn’t keep on happening … I’d cross my fingers but even metaphorically it makes me wince.
š hope your pain subsides soon. I can’t imagine not being able to do anything about it and just having to live through… Consistently. You’re quite strong.
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Thanks for the hope, maybe with enough good wishes grouped together it’ll make a difference. I can dream anyway š
Wow, the dislocating fingers would disturb me and… only worry when they turn blue? Sheesh, thanks doc! š
I hope you’re able to get some good solid rest soon, help clear the brain fog.
Hugs <3
Thanks! I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought that wasn’t helpful advice š
Just hoping the baby eventually lets you get some good sleep. xxx
Thanks! Real sleep makes a world of difference.
Can’t imagine the frustration of the doctor being not surprised and also not helpful. I have experienced only the smallest fraction of this during this pregnancy. I hate going to the doctor lately. Why do they ask how I am feeling if they are going to answer everything with a shrug and the condescending “welp, you’re pregnant”. Sending out positive vibes to you and hoping if there are answers out there you get them!!
Yeah it’s a bit frustrating… Though good training for those pregnancy appts where everything is “that sucks but you’re pregnant so…. It’s normal.”
Wish yours would at least be sympathetic, though!
The whole blue-fingers-as-an-option thing is freaking me out! I hope they don’t get that bad.
Hopefully your body calms down again after the whole baby thing :-/
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I know, I could do without blue appendages in my life! Thanks š