Just a little (link) love: hedgehog muffins edition
April 21, 2016
CAREER + MONEY THINGS
It’s deplorable that I can’t remember any of the funny email rants from work over the years but the contributors at AAM have plenty to tide us over.
I’m glad there are places where trans people can work with less harassment and discrimination. Everyone deserves to make a living with dignity.
Male colleagues: knock it off. Women aren’t “naturally more organized”, we know that’s code for “I’m just lazy and don’t wanna.”
Alyssa’s story of why she needed financial security early on rang some familiar bells. A couple of my early bosses was totally inappropriate to everyone in the office, so they all thought it was normal, but no, it really wasn’t. I’m so glad that’s behind me now.
You know that thing where you buy or research something and then you start seeing it everywhere? Like the Tesla, when my friend started talking about buying one, suddenly I was noticing them everywhere on the roads. Likewise, I see Vic nabbed a new-to-him car and Crystal making progress with their Prius. Meanwhile, we’re in Month Four of carhunting.
Katherine highlights some bad customer experiences in the luxury shopping world. It’s not my sphere, generally, but I’ve been known to splurge on a high quality piece once in a while.
It’s really interesting how the interviewees are generally accepting that the French shops just don’t care. If any of my shopping experiences led to the waste or loss of hundreds of dollars because the store made a mistake and was unwilling to do anything about it, you can bet your two front teeth that they’d never get another cent of my money. And I’d have used my AMEX who would hear from me in a hot second to make it right. Because I work hard for my money, I’m not tolerating incompetence AND wasting my money!
FUN THINGS
Lauren turns 31 and recaps a wonderful year. She also does a fun podcast.
Check out the enormous weasel that used to prowl western North America
INTERESTING THINGS
That there are men out there who genuinely write things like this (the email itself is a thing of … perverse … beauty? No, I can’t say that. It is astounding. I can say that.): Your refusal to even consider me as a potential life partner is both painful and, frankly, inexplicable.
It wasn’t meant to be but a lovely memorium of one author friend by another.
An MRA who actually learned and changed. That’s interesting: “Men are socialized to be stoic, rational beings. The only emotions we’re allowed are anger and joy, and in a precious few instances, we’re allowed to cry — like if our sports team loses. As an MRA, I always believed it was women and feminism putting men in this box. But these feminist texts not only validated the crisis of masculinity, they pointed out men are the biggest policers of masculinity. Men beat each other down for being “girly,” for liking sewing or baking, for crying…There are some MRAs who claim men’s rights is akin to feminism, but that’s incorrect. The men’s rights movement has always been anti-feminist first, men’s issues second.”
We became an inter-operating system couple several months ago and we’re fine. Glad to weather that storm, I guess?
Thanks for the link!
Taylor Lee @ Yuppie Millennial recently posted…Killing Time
You’re welcome!
Thanks for sharing my story!
You’re welcome!
If I were Jess, I would no longer be friends with Richard. What a wretched set of emotions and pressures to have in your life.
In my first job, I didn’t have a “fuck off fund” either. But what I did do was sit down and calculate what my options were, and how much money I would need to make in order to pay my bills. I was lucky; I had no loans beyond my credit card, which I always kept low (and was able to keep low, because I had the good fortune to go to school in an era that did not feature crippling student loan debt). I had parents who lived 90 minutes away and had the space and the inclination to let me move home if I wanted to. So that meant that all I had was my car payment and my insurance, coming to about $300 a month. That meant that the only hold that job really had over me was $300 a month, which was very little hold at all. I stayed there for six years, and it was horrible (sexual harassment of the hostile environment type, everyone getting yelled at in public by our supervisor, management thinking it was totally fine if people worked through the night on a regular basis, etc.) But because of that mental exercise, I was able to stay on my terms, and not because I felt they had control over me.
Again, I was lucky to be in the financial position I was. Some of that was based on choices, but a great deal of it was based on economic forces beyond my control. But I’m still glad I thought those numbers through. It made a difference in how I experienced and dealt with the crap.
Tragic Sandwich recently posted…Six Years Old
Definitely – Richard doesn’t deserve a single moment of her time. He only cares about himself.
Having fallbacks and resources are so valuable when you’re stuck or you’ve chosen to stick it out in a bad situation, I think it helps you fend off some of the toxicity that develops when you feel helpless or trapped. What was the reason you decided to stay for that long? I’ve made a similar choice partly because of the money but partly because it was a strategic career decision.