September 19, 2017

Just a little (link) love: hay-bear edition


The Atlantic on why women are supposedly terrible to each other in the workplace. I think a huge part of this was described accurately by  Kelly Sue DeConnick in one of her SDCC talks. Women aren’t stupid – they don’t want to be associated with a weaker or subordinate group and they’ve internalized the prevailing misogyny early on so they tend to respond by trying to set themselves apart from other women. Obviously if you know that women are considered less than, why would you do anything but highlight how you’re not like them? Women can learn to shed that patriarchal gullshit and understand the power we can have, though and I can always spot when a women has or hasn’t shed those attitudes.

The manufacturer of Epi-Pens continues to behave horribly. This time they’re called out by the FDA.

Have you talked to kids about money? Emily had the “bank holds your money” talk with Little Bit

Are you emotionally prepared for a bear market?

I don’t usually listen to radio show clips but this one piqued my curiousity. The UK shop John Lewis decided they weren’t going to label clothing with gender anymore, which I think is great because how about you let us decide what’s right for ourselves, and this caller expresses concerns about “bowing to political correctness” with about exactly the kind of reasoning you’d expect from that response. James O’Brien rather deftly gets the caller to actually think about what he’s whinging about for a second.

Marshmallows aren’t likely to fix low-income kids’ real problems: “We demonstrated that expectations matter—a lot—in the marshmallow test, and that it’s not all about self-control. This shows that children’s decisions aren’t driven by inherent ability or inability, as Mischel and colleagues suggest. The behavior is driven by the forces of evidence and expectations.

We should not waste time and grant money trying to train self-control, nor should we commit to the implicit judgment behind these studies—that kids who fail to wait for the second marshmallow are inferior.


September 14, 2017

Just a little (link) love: owl pets edition

How blind auditions help orchestras to eliminate gender bias

I still think it’s amazing that Maggie can literally fish for her supper.

Boosting creativity and problem solving by goofing off  I happen to know this works, this is why I switch to mindless tasks when I can’t focus. I know it’ll come back later if I don’t force it.

A Navy SEAL on ten things to focus on to “inspire your children and grandchildren to become everything that they can”. Respectfully I personally disagree with the first one because the act of getting up from the bed is my huge accomplishment of the morning. Making the bed is meaningless energy expenditure.

It has to be safe to say that this letter writer’s friends STINK to high heaven. Who forgets that their friend went through a bad divorce? And SAYS so? Or implies that their wedding is more important than said divorced friend’s financial or emotional wellbeing??

I can empathize with some of the views in this article. I don’t consider us wealthy in the absolute sense – we couldn’t have bought our new place this year without help and I didn’t have any plans to do so, for example – but we are in some ways wealthy. We have two good incomes right now though it certainly isn’t near the neighborhood of the folks interviewed ($2.5M income? Holy moly), we save a steady percentage of it even while living in a HCOLA. We pursue the creation of wealth but still want our child to learn to live a normal existence with choices and sacrifices. If JB ever says “great vacation but next time we (fly private or otherwise do what the rich do) like everyone else”, I will feel that I’ve failed to raise a decent human or gone terribly wrong somewhere.

Thoughts on “gaydar”– is there really such a thing and how does it work?

Excerpts on the all girls remake of Lord of the Flies, this is brilliant.

Turns out, birth order doesn’t mean anything. I think I knew that since I’m the youngest and my older sibling is a trainwreck.

Such a cute owly

September 7, 2017

Just a little (link) love: raccoon + lab edition


Katharine Johnson, the NASA Mathematician Who Advanced Human Rights with a Slide Rule and Pencil – I should have learned about her at the same time I learned about NASA and our forays into space but I’m so glad to learn this now.

Tomorrow is definitely not promised – this is why I have to keep reminding myself over and over, tomorrow is not promised. We have to wring the most out of every day, today, that we can, make the most of it, best we can.

Ms FAF’s struggle to find the balance in their marriage with some commentary on Asian traditions that are really just misogyny run rampant. Though my parents managed to raise me as a total feminist and seemed to have a happy marriage, I remember there were times that I had to roll my eyes at the ingrained misogynistic attitudes.

Dad once told me that he gave up dancing because Mom didn’t like to do it, and he wouldn’t do it without her. He didn’t want her to be alone at night while he was out having fun, and particularly, with other women. It wouldn’t have looked or been right. Good story, right? He then tells me that if my husband doesn’t like fish sauce, I shouldn’t eat it either. He was (I don’t know WHY, it’s not like we had just met) shocked when I said that if my husband has an issue with my eating fish sauce just because he doesn’t like eating it, then he can go find himself another wife. There’s a huge difference in choosing, for yourself, to sacrifice for the good of your marriage and expecting your partner to give up something they enjoy when it has *absolutely no effect* on you. 

Thankfully, with a lot of work, patience, and a few misunderstandings on our learning curve, PiC and I do really well keeping equality in our relationship.

White Americans Have to Make a Choice. The fight over Confederate monuments is a fight over who this country is for. And only white Americans can end it. – hattip to Cloud for the link, Jemelle Bouie is right here.


I thought this was The Onion, but no: Terry Pratchett’s unfinished novels destroyed by steamroller

Lessons that more boys and men need to learn: feelings and emotions are part of being human. I may hate them but they’re essential to our ability to survive and be part of a functioning society. What is society without compassion? Not one I’d want to live in.

Mrs. Picky Pincher on Frugality Does Not Solve Poverty – tis true. I have lots and lots of thoughts on this and they’re slowly getting organized.

August 31, 2017

Just a little (link) love: white moose edition


The Truth About Women and White Supremacy: “While the march in Charlottesville occurred in reaction to the proposed removal of a statue of a Confederate general, women were responsible for the erection of many of these Confederate statues across the country at the turn of the 20th century. In the 1920s, women composed the most influential arm of the KKK. And lest we forget the election that emboldened these modern white supremacists: More than half of white women voted for Trump. To overlook the comprehensive picture of who makes up the extreme right is to seriously underestimate its reach.”

How squirrels land at Stan Lee’s house – I can’t stop laughing at this

This cat is kind of the best.

I think most women already know “What the Google gender ‘manifesto’ really says about Silicon Valley” but it’s still worth saying because it’s still true.

I didn’t know that the ability to lie was an important developmental milestone.

Free eyeglasses for kids boost test scores in Baltimore – my eyesight is finally starting to deteriorate after 30 years of pretty good vision, for which I’ve been so grateful. I strongly sympathize with these poor kids who just couldn’t see well and were misdiagnosed.

How Penny made money online this year (and how I did). Spoiler: not by blogging. 

White moose??

August 24, 2017

Just a little (link) love: quicksand edition


Ways we shouldn’t help servers – I’m guilty of bussing my own table sometimes.

Can oysters save New York Harbor?

At KLM Royal Dutch Airlines, they are trying to do their part to offset their carbon footprint on the globe and become the world’s most sustainable airline.

If only more companies would take steps to offset their carbon footprints, I think we’d be in much better shape. We do some things as individuals, and we try, but it’s a drop in the bucket compared to the kind of carbon that huge companies are generating. Personally I’d pass on the Delft houses myself, though, not being a fan of knick knacks.

Go Shonda!! I love it when amazingly talented women are making it.

Would you dress up or casual it down in this situation? I started dressing MORE professionally than I ever had in my life in one of my previous jobs in a concerted attempt to look as old as I was presumed to be for a major senior role. That was in a place much like Sherry described – so casual you’d see men’s toes. There were legitimately people walking around totally barefoot sometimes! Never thought I’d see an email about not doing that on a day when a glass window was broken. I didn’t break until I left that workplace and went to an even more senior position, ironically. I guess I peaked.

Joking about owning slaves again? To the faces of people of color? These white people are horrible humans. 

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