Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (54)
June 14, 2021
Year 2 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 2, Day 85: Alice recommended a math app, Math Tango, but when I went on the hunt for it, I realized that w are totally outclassed. My iPad can only be updated to Version 9. Math Tango requires Version 13. And they don’t have a desktop version. Drat. I can’t justify buying an iPad for a kid’s use, much less in addition to the family laptop that I was needing to replace.
JB starts their summer schedule today. It’s a bit spotty. I didn’t get information early enough to schedule a full set of Spanish lessons for two weeks but we’ll see how it goes.
I function so much better when I have a structure to work with. Even if things have to change, even if they change last minute, I feel better having a framework. This goes for work, for handling JB’s days, for Smol’s day to day. Now that we have an idea of how long Smol can optimally function (about 1 hour and 20 minutes up to 2 hours of awake time right now), that gives us a firmer footing on when to do what to support his sleep training.
I was thinking over at Nicole and Maggie’s about which of us would be suited to being a House Spouse and realized that since we can’t do without both our incomes, the next best (also highly unlikely) thing would be both of us working part time and still getting half time for everything else. We both have a lot of household stuff we take care of in our separate realms of expertise and we’re always badly juggling the four areas of work / home / parenting / personal. The personal gets the shortest shrift under the current circumstances but if we both had half time, what glorious self care would result? It’s nice to dream anyway.
It was a long frustrating day at work, I felt myself completely tensed up as I struggled to cross things off my to do list. I very pointedly limited that list for today because I knew there was more work than even I could do on a good day but still I kept getting derailed by one problem after another. I got through but I was really irritable at several points and had to make an effort to rehydrate and refuel. Pacing myself was never my strong suit. I’m a sprinter through and through and you can see that in my work style.
On the bright side I did manage to call the medical equipment people to clear up this nonsense about them billing me when I don’t owe them a dime and got our eye exams scheduled. That bit feels good.
Year 2, Day 86: Aside from the normal frustrations at work, my office has slowly succumbed to entropy and my brain is screeching at the disorder around me. I can’t work like this! I’m going to need to take some time, on a day I didn’t foolishly force myself to walk the dog uphill too fast and too far, and clear the junk that’s accumulating. Everything needs a home! No more strays!
Some days, JB makes me completely bananas and some days they are asked to do one chore and they do three without complaining or making a racket or breaking anything. Today was the latter. Yesterday was the former. It’s emotionally whiplashy here! (Today they didn’t whine about having to put away utensils and then proceeded to unload the entire dishwasher while I was dealing with Smol. Then they cleaned up the guest room – they’d been playing with blocks – without complaint and without making a huge racket.)
We had the insulation people out today and that was a huge disruption to our day. I ended up having to spend much of my day minding the kids because PiC was minding the contractors. They made multiple mistakes so he needed to stay on top of them. They were aiming to finish entirely in one day and I think that made them a bit sloppy.
Not single day has enough hours to do all I need but today was Peak Too Busy. I felt scattered and inefficient in addition to racing the clock and boy was that a lethal combination. I can’t even count on a reset tomorrow because I have to put in a concerted effort to start digging out of the mess that is my work without throwing PiC to the wolves that are our children. Balance – we have none. And yet I still hesitate to send Smol to daycare (not that we have a spot). What is wrong with me?
Year 2, Day 87: On reflecting about what may or may not be wrong with me, I’m remembering that it’s normal to be hesitant to go back out among the general public again after all that we’ve seen and after a year of deliberately avoiding them and wanting to be cautious considering our kids are still too young to be vaccinated.
It’s not that I don’t want the help, of course I do. It’s just that I’m not quite ready to lower the drawbridge yet, mentally or emotionally. Also JB is so freaking attached to Smol, and will spend so much time with them when their schedules mesh, it seems a shame to send Smol off to hypothetical daycare that we don’t have a spot at when JB is home for the summer. Smol’s daytime napping is generally better and JB spends a great deal of time with them during their awake periods. They enjoy each other SO much. And honestly when they sleep well, I enjoy having Smol during their waking periods. Yes it’s disruptive to my work day and yes I wish I could have my 8-9 uninterrupted silent hours a day back. But this part of life together is fleeting and temporary and this is our last go with a cuddly cackly infant. We might as well try to enjoy it.
Year 2, Day 88: We’ve been relying on takeout more than usual. We’ve enjoyed Korean soondobu and banchan, pizza and salad, schwarma and falafel wraps, Japanese curry, Korean wings and more banchan, street tacos and burritos. But more quickly than I expected, I’m tired of restaurant food. We never eat out this often, it’s just been our temporary crutch to get through a very busy and stretched time.
I am not a great cook at all but I miss my own very simple basic cooking. I threw together baby bok choy and baked salmon for dinner tonight and it was a relief. I just wish we didn’t have to be the ones to cook it.
Smol had SUCH a good day of naps, it was amazing. More please!
Year 2, Day 89: I suppose we might be traveling again in the medium-future, but I still ponder whether we should change our Marriott Bonvoy card. I’m thinking about a Cash Magnet card. We currently have a free Marriott night that expires in January next year and I just don’t know how and when we’re going to have time to use it.
I’ve been covering for people all week and I’m whipped. I’m so tired that I totally forgot to mention that we had an amazing donation for the Lakota families come in this week, along with the regular donations for which I’m so grateful. I can’t wait to have a free minute to deploy those funds to help out some folks. Really looking forward to it.
Naturally, after yesterday’s amazing set of naps, Smol boomeranged in the other direction and struggled with every single nap putdown today. They did end up falling asleep in the end but only after crying and struggling for ten or more minutes.
Tired though I am, I made myself go outside for a walk and to do a plank today. Gotta start somewhere.
(Oh, sorry! The iPad my kid has been using is actually mine. I didn’t think of version issues!)
This one is mine, too, it’s just that I’m dramatically behind the times š
When I’m trying to consider possible plans now it feels like I’m wearing Anxiety Blinders. Everything was so dangerous for so long. I got so used to telling myself we couldn’t do ANYthing, not even considering it… but now suddenly it’s maybe not as dangerous??? So weird dealing with the mental whiplash of yet another change.
When you do get to the point of feeling like you’d be okay with having a masked+vaccinated person in your space with your kids, I highly highly recommend trying a Mother’s Helper. When I had 3 little ones underfoot it was a total sanity saver to have a teen occasionally come over for a few hours. They’d do a few light chores: like vacuum, wash a few dishes, help the kids fold a load of laundry, or play with the kids outside while I had a few blissful moments of quiet to focus on paperwork – trust me, even though it didn’t get the big tasks off my plate, it was SUCH a relief to have that little bit of a breather. You & PiC have been burning the candle at both ends for months; if anybody deserves a break, it’s you two!
It IS weird and mental whiplash is exactly it. The constant recalibration of the Now Times is much weirder than the total shutdown.
I would love to have a Mother’s Helper type person; I wonder if it’s even possible to find someone available for that in the Bay Area. It was a really tough search to find a nanny we could afford and that didn’t even work out for long. Fingers crossed we can!
Thanks for the link!
nicoleandmaggie recently posted…How to get more citations as a junior scholar (in a social science without embargoes)
You’re welcome!
Hi, friend. I empathize with the work stress and the sprinter’s dilemma. I, too, am one and when things turn into a marathon I don’t deal well.
We’re also debating how we want to handle daycare with Toddler AF sometime this fall (whenever vaccines are available or we decide we’re comfortable with sending him). When he’s good, it’s great to have the whole family together. When it’s a bad day, we can definitely see the advantages of just managing Baby JC for a spell.
We also have a Marriott cert that I have no idea when we’re going to use. Just got approved for a Bonvoy card so we’ll be churning that and then probably another for Mrs. Done by Forty. Let us know if you like that new card and maybe we’ll follow in your footsteps.
Done by Forty recently posted…And Then We Were Four
Marathoning is a WHOLE other thing!
I currently have the Bonvoy card by way of conversion. It used to be my Starwood card. I miss Starwood! But the Bonvoy card has been ok, we just happen to have less opportunity to use Marriott now. I should do a bit of research to see what properties are around that we might want to try.
I’m in awe of all your chronicles and how you document so much (not to mention, juggle so damn much). That is all <3
NZ Muse recently posted…3 times insurance totally saved me in the last year
It’s pretty easy when the app works and I have 3-5 minutes of dead time where I’m doing something else but am waiting for a few minutes š