By: Revanche

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (253)

April 7, 2025

Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area.

Year 5, Day 344: I’m having an irrational thing. I set a high retirement contribution rate last year to max it out in the time I had to contribute. Having already tightened the belt to adjust to our much lower cashflow, it made sense to keep that contribution rate this year in case I had to quit in a huff if everything fell apart. (I’m still on the fence about that. Things are supposed to get better but “better” is relative!) I’m suddenly very impatient and want it done. Even though it would cut my take home pay to very little cash, I want to increase my contributions to max it out right now. Why? I don’t know! I am pure impatience.

Ten hours later: Ohhh this is my version of cutting my hair to pretend I have control when I have no control! I am waiting on several important financial things and I can’t do anything about the punkasses who are dragging their feet. That’s why the overwhelming urge to do anything.

Year 5, Day 345: JB has to start a medicated eye drop regimen that runs $100 for a 3 week supply. *faint*

We just had our eye exams and their rate that their myopia is developing is concerning. They’re not willing to do the overnight contact lens therapy, I’m not willing to fight with them over this yet, so we’re starting out with the eyedrops first. If they can get accustomed to that without having a total meltdown every night, maybe we’ll work our way up to the contacts. Maybe. I feel bad for them. They got my aversion to letting anything ever come near the eyeballs but they did not get my good vision.  Their eyesight is worse than mine is right now. This is worrisome.

My eyesight is a touch worse than last year so I need to replace both my computer glasses and the distance glasses I completely forgot to start using when they were prescribed … uh 18 months ago?  I’d prefer to use my own frames which means bringing them to the eye doc and hoping they don’t screw it up. I’ll get a cheap pair from Zenni first to hold me over during that lens replacement time. My computer glasses allowance is only $90 for frames. That is silly low and I don’t want to pay another $250 out of pocket for new frames that won’t fit well with my office headset if at all possible.

Year 5, Day 346: I’m negotiating for a raise right now and the ghost of anxiety is fluttering in the background. Surprisingly, it’s just a friendly little ghost. Even though the negotiations are with an entirely new person I don’t know or have trust built with, which brings all the baggage of their social expectations of women to just take what they’re given if anything, my past 20 years of negotiating raises for myself and for my team and teaching my friends to just go for it has blunted those nerves. Here’s hoping I get an answer (and that it’s yes) this week so I can map out the rest of our budget year.

My tax person has been uncharacteristically slow this year. I KIND of assumed that the WTFness of the world played into that but she didn’t say. Still, she managed to submit our return this week and to my relief given the wanton destruction in DC, the returns appear to be somewhat automated in some way because the money hit our bank today. This covers our CA state tax bill.

Year 5, Day 348: We went on a little adventure. My biggest goal was for us adults to not have to think about what to feed people for at least a whole day.

I have learned some more things about myself on this trip and all of them are: Digital disconnect makes me itch. I prefer to remain in civilization with all the trappings thereof. I hate not having the option of GPS, I hate not being able to download another book from the library when the painsomnia is up. I hate the blanket of cold that comes from having only canvas between me and the rest of the world instead of walls.

My friends and PiC have all gently pushed the idea of camping for years. One of them accidentally made it sound kind of fun but my very gentle brush with the wilderness this week, though I love nature, reminded me that even if my curiosity is piqued, I’m no longer built for such things. This very thin veneer of camping was enough to remind me how I like my creature comforts.

We did have fun! It was dusty and dirty and muddy with one of those single “stall” showers with the showerhead that makes me think of MASH (probably only because I have never been to a real campsite) and I didn’t mind all that, it’s roughly like the barn life I grew up with. But I’m in pain and discomfort daily, who needs to add “roughing it” to the list of challenges? Even with the softest beds, my body was all NOPE til 4 am this morning.

Year 5, Day 348: I forgot to update my spreadsheets for the monthly Net Worth update so I had to do it today. WOW.  The last time I checked VTSAX, it was trending down a bit but nothing alarming. Today? That was a significant drop from Monday to Friday.  It’s not personally alarming because we’re currently very fortunate on multiple axes (and are hyperaware that could change at any time): we’re still accumulating assets – this drop means we’re investing in the same assets at lower prices. We also have W2 income and don’t depend on that money to pay the bills.

Of course you know that I think the bigger picture remains extremely alarming. The executive branch of the government is disappearing people, admitting it, and saying we don’t have to offer due process to SOME people. I would hope that people would realize that if some of us don’t have due process, none of us have due process. The government just has to disappear you and make vague claims that you were suspected of terrorism or some such noise, and refuse to tell anyone where you are. If they can do this to legal residents, and they are doing it and admitting it in open court, then they can do this to citizens just as easily.

I keep wondering if our country and democracy are going to survive this period. It feels absolutely surreal to see people in the PF community taking this administration in stride as if we aren’t in constitutional crisis and as if this new regime isn’t going to do lasting damage. It’s as surreal as still having to go about our everyday lives, raising the kids, making dinner, and dealing with work (both the important stuff and the minutiae). What’s the phrase, fiddling while Rome burns?

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