March 14, 2018
Mixed feelings
JB (who definitely needs a new blog name as ze is no longer a baby but probably still The Unstoppable something) is turning 3.
I don’t know how to feel about year 3. Everyone keeps harping on how much harder 3 is over 2, but 2 was pretty dang hard. Didn’t we get a lot of that difficulty out of the way yet? No?
We are exhausted many days keeping up with the mood changes and high spirits. But ze is suddenly so much more capable too! But only if ze is motivated.
We’re having real, if distracted and fractured, conversation punctuated with random Christmas songs and outtakes from one of 4 favorite movies. Ze can help around the house a bit, is interested in the world, is interested in sharing zir thoughts with us.
Learning & responsibilities
New lessons and skills
Generally if you want JB to learn to do anything new, ze is interested. If it’s a repetitive chore, then the shiny tends wears off after the second or third time. That’s not nearly enough time for zir to competently do anything so I like to make up silly little songs to keep zir entertained/interested. Bragging rights naturally top the list of motivations, but ze doesn’t have much to revel in when we’re talking about necessary and not fun things like washing your own hair.
(more…)
January 17, 2018
I’m Awake!
JB’s zir ability to go from deep sleep to wide awake in 0.7 seconds is fascinating. We never wake the baby if we can help it but, and this is a problem I sure wish we had in infancy, sometimes ze sleeps in so late that we have to. I try gentle tactics first, out of habit: tickling zir face with hair, calling zir name quietly, slow back pats. When nothing works, I give up and try to get zir dressed as ze sleeps. Right about then, ze pops straight up asking: What you doin??
When ze wakes on zir own, zir brain goes into gear. It’s not clear if ze just starts thinking immediately or if this is a remnant of a dream:
– Daddy! DADDDDYYYYY! May I p’ay (play)?
– Is it my birfday? (No, not for 6 more months)
– Where is Uncle’s doggy? (We haven’t seen him in 6 months)
– I’m an elephant!
– May I have Allouette?
I almost envy zir – I take 15 minutes of grogginess, if not grumpiness, to become conscious.
(more…)
December 20, 2017
Tantrum CITY
We have had the best and worst month. We did lots of fun things together, and they were legitimately fun. But they were also punctuated by some of the worst tantrums I have ever seen. You know us, we’re not going to let zir get away with that. There were quite a few times ze pulled a Bratty Chihuahua and sat down in the middle of the street, so I’d toss zir over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes and haul that hollering sack home.
The worst of this is knowing that kids pull the boneless act even when they’re much older. This has to stop!
Last year, I chalked these tantrums up to brain leaps, they were temporary but usually preceded some serious mental growth spurt. This year, I don’t know what it’s all about. Maybe this is preceding a parenting growth spurt because I have had to cultivate so much patience. (more…)
November 22, 2017
JuggerBaby legitimately and of zir own volition apologized this month for the first time. It might have been for elbowing me in the throat.
We learned from daycare that at age 2, it’s not good to pressure kids to apologize because that mainly teaches them to say the words but not necessarily mean it when the more important lesson is for them to use their empathy and care if they hurt someone. It was a little bit of a struggle but we banished “say sorry!” from our stock phrases and just demonstrated the appropriate use of apologies in our everyday interactions.
JB has offered a couple of offhand apologies, since. Big steps!
Speaking of daycare
We’re really struggling here.
Ze has at least one of our tempers, or both, and most definitely my lack of tolerance for kids encroaching on my territory, or getting in my face. A kid taking things away from zir, or yelling NO in zir face usually gets a physical reaction. That’s one big problem. (more…)
October 25, 2017
Sleep shenanigans
Another month, another sleep challenge.
It seems like JB is having nightmares because a few mornings a week, ze wakes up crying, with real tears, and calling for me. It’s a total departure from zir usual routine where ze ONLY wants Dad so it makes me think there’s a bit more trauma.
Ze doesn’t have the concepts to explain to us why ze is so upset so I can only hope that ze didn’t also inherit my propensity for bonecrushingly scary nightmares. They started so early I actually don’t recall the onset, but I do recall many of them to this day. I used to curl up next to Mom and Dad’s closed bedroom door because I was literally scared stiff, too afraid to knock on the door. Not because I thought they’d be mad but just because the nightmare had me in its grip even after I’d woken.
(more…)
September 13, 2017
IT ME
Someone has developed self awareness.
(JB: Me!)
Me: Someone ate all my crackers.
JB: ME!
PiC: Someone doesn’t have the-
JB: ME!
Pic: -best hand-eye coordination.
PiC: Someone’s made a mess here.
JB: *proudly slaps chest* ME!
Consequences
Sometimes JuggerBaby gets so frustrated by a no, or life, that ze gets rude, sulky, and throws things. Now, being frustrated is normal. That happens. But ze isn’t allowed to throw things in anger – it’s hit me, PiC, or Seamus in the past and that hurts!
Ze requested goat pictures and a book and conditional permission was granted: after ze got socks and shoes on. For some reason, probably impatience, ze was struggling and got mad at the socks for not just getting on zir feet. The socks went airborne, and the goat pictures were forfeit.
My voice got quite level and stern, “you’ve lost goat pictures, the book is yours to earn or lose.” The shoes went on the wrong feet, then the right feet, then, “may I have goat pictures, please?”
“No, you threw your socks so that means no goat pictures today. You have your book.”
“May I have goat pictures, please?”
“That’s a good ask but the answer is still no. Remember throwing your socks?”
*nods*
“That’s why you can’t have goat pictures now, throwing socks is not ok.”
“May I have goat pictures please?”
“No, but tomorrow you can try again, without throwing socks. If you do, then you can have goat pictures.”
“Oh. Ok.”
Freedom and sleep shenanigans
We didn’t have enough going on, so JuggerBaby thought it’d be HILARIOUS to climb out of zir crib and fall overboard with the loudest thump you ever did hear.
SpiderBaby this kid is not.
I soothed zir and back to bed ze went, but softy that he is, PiC decides to release zir from the crib the next day, converting it into a toddler bed. Ze really is getting too long for this small crib but it’s “home” and ze will fit for a while longer.
Honestly we could have released the wee beastie months ago but ze was content and so were we.
Now, though. Now ze has had a taste of freedom. And ze is a mixed up pile of not knowing what to do with it. One night, ze insisted I stay in the room with zir. So I did, and ze caterwauled for 15 minutes before dropping off to sleep. Another night, ze kept trying to snuggle with me which was cute but awkward. I hide my illicit phone activities under a blanket but when the toddler insists on being Big Spoon and then pops up with a “what doing, mama?” every couple of minutes, ze is bound to catch me in the act of blogging or emailing.
Most nights involve a little chasing back to bed. The novelty of being able to slide out of bed physically, not just sitting in the cage stalling for time, is a delicious heady brew and ze can’t get enough of it.
But mama has her ways. One night I shrugged and said I’d sleep in zir bed, then. “No! I sleep own bed!”
Another night I stood watch at the door for a few minutes listening to the giggling and in zir amusement, ze forgot to make a break for it.
Occasionally PiC intervenes but I often shoo him away. He takes every single wake up, every painful morning, without fail so I insist on sticking to my end of the bargain. Night calls are my calls.
It’s a mixed bag, honestly, but we’ll see if ze settles down soon, for good.
After naps it’s like ze forgets the prison door has been unlocked, and hollers for Daddy repeatedly. When I show up at the door, ze asks: may I get out?
It’s a slight improvement on when ze would holler for me, specifically to tell me: I want daddy.
Really? You called me in here ten times to go get daddy?
Yes. Daddy please.
Dietary development
Something weird happened this summer: salad became desirable! It started when we shared a Costco Ceasar salad. Ze has an obsession with dipping foods in sauces, and lettuce into Ceasar dressing was a match made in heaven. The next dinner salad that was served turned into a greens massacre, leaving us adults with only salad toppings and frisée to eat. Frisée being, as any civilized being would know, not nearly green enough.
Brain development
The contrast between this month and the month ze turned two is unbelievable. At that time, I thought we were DOOMED. Ze was irrational, demanding, and melted down at all possible provocations, including breathing the same air as ze was breathing.
Now, though ze has moments of frustrations or even tantrums, a semi reasonable child is about five minutes away with a bit of space and even tempered handling. Of course if you get cranky and snappish, it escalates, and boy howdy does it escalate. And of course when we’re tired, that’s exactly what happens until everyone is cranky.
Precious #parenting moments
Me: Put on your pants.
JB: I can’t.
Me: Why?
JB: My hands broken.
***
JuggerBaby snuck out of zir room in the middle of the night, cackling. Spun around to run back in, full speed into the door. BAM!!!
I laughed so hard that ze laughed, too.
It’s pretty clear that JB has inherited the Complete and Utter Klutz gene from me.
:: How did you learn that actions have consequences? Do you remember changing your mind about any particular food that was previously anathema?
