July 6, 2010
In the last two weeks, I’ve attended two weddings. One was a surprise invite from a new friend I’d bonded with over rheumatoid arthritis, unemployment, job-hunting and other mutual concerns; the other was a surprise as well but from a very dear friend.
The second friend insisted that out of town guests not give gifts, and provided a really cool “registry” where those guests who didn’t have their own ideas could donate towards a few things that the happy couple would like to own. I love everything they picked and loved the idea of donating toward the really cool stuff.
The first friend, well, I’m a little bit stymied. I think that it’s probably appropriate to give more of a token gift because I’m not a very close friend and we were a last minute invite. I know this because we had discussed her wedding in casual chats several times, namely how she was keeping it very small and budget – there’s no way we’re good enough friends that we were A-list guests. No harm in knowing that in my opinion, we’re both pragmatic people and I’m in no way offended.
My question is: am I wrong? PiC immediately assumed we were giving $100. I’m of the mindset that a token gift card of $50 would be fine. Is that a cheap consideration? Should the depth of the relationship be part of the equation in determining a gift?
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Other wedding related posts:
Weddings
Weddings: how far would you go, how much would you spend?
Wedding Registries: A time to judge?
December 19, 2009
Once upon a time, we celebrated holidays and birthdays with loads of family, food, and fun. Some years gifts were bountiful, other years scarce, but we kids rarely had any gift expectations. Except one: every other year, I hoped for a new digital watch or a strap replacement because that’s about how long it took for the wristband of my good old $5 Casio to break. Pretty simple, as those things go.
The wish list was unheard of. We wrote little letters to Santa, but understood that while other kids had jolly Old Saint Nick for a Santa, our family Santa was just our parents signing a different name on the gift tag. Dual personalities didn’t bother me, at any rate.
After age ten, though, Christmases changed substantially – my parents stopped celebrating entirely. I didn’t fully appreciate how busy and exhausted they were, working 7 days a week, at their small business, so for seven years, I advocated for a Christmas tree this year, in vain. (I must have been so annoying!)
It took another five years of trying to resurrect my fondly remembered holiday traditions before I developed a much healthier approach than a forced diet of gifts to disinterested people.
One of my favorite traditions is a very special one I share with a good friend. N and I exchange birthday and Christmas gifts each year, following the same rules: we buy a few volumes of a comic book series that we both want to read, read it first, and then trade gifts.
It doesn’t make sense to anyone else, but we love it.
This harkens back to our college days when I couldn’t really afford to splurge on a lot of books for myself, and A had more disposable income. I’m pretty sure the arrangement came about because one (or both) of us couldn’t wait ’til after the gifting occasion to borrow the books and read them – we both buy gifts weeks if not months in advance.
This also gave rise to the Buy Quests we go on each year at Comic Con: we provide each other with the titles of books we’d like to be collecting, and we then painstakingly search through each of the bargain bin booths to collect as many of those books for 50% off or $5/each as possible.
Do you have any holiday, birthday or gifting traditions? Care to share?
September 4, 2009
8 West Coasties: in aggregate, it feels like we could have financed the GDP of a small small country. (Or perhaps a small territory.) Let’s see if that’s true with some approximations.
Lodgings: $950
Variations: 1 night Fancy hotel+ 1 night Basic hotel/3 nights Basic hotel/2 nights Basic hotel shared room
Airfare: $2100
Variations: Mostly 1-stop flights, two nonstop returns.
Rental Cars: $600
The car itself was about $100 for 4 days, but parking at the hotel was insane at $30/day.
Friday Night out: $620
Those folks can really eat. And order way too much food. And drinks. — $250 dinner
Did you know that you could negotiate cover charges? My friend totally negotiated the bouncer at Bed down from $20/person to $30/pair. She tried for $20/pair but it didn’t work. That included open bar until midnight on certain drinks. And then some ambitious soul decided that rounds of Patron were a good idea. *dizzy* — $120 cover + $250
Saturday Wedding Day: $128
We only had time for one meal out and swimming at the hotel pool.
Sunday: $140
Brunch and gelato.
Misc (transportation, airport food): $300
Water was only slightly less ridiculously priced at $3/1.5 Liter bottle in the deli/shop downstairs versus the $5/0.5 L bottle in the room. Rather than go out again post-wedding, we ordered a movie for the room.
I didn’t grill the group on all their spending patterns, much as I would have liked to, so there are holes in this tot-up, but it’s pretty clear: I can’t hang with these folks! Without counting the gifts, the total spend was at least $5000.
July 29, 2009
It’s no surprise to those who geek out with me regularly, but for those of you who don’t (and there are many), I love David Mack.
It’s 90% nostalgic love because his work is what brought me home to comics again. His work, the lyrical writing and the beautiful haunting art, made me remember why I loved reading comics before Marvel and DC went series crossover mad, and made me mad.
10% is active love: the man is really nice in person and has a great smile. I visit his booth multiple times every Con. He made my Con in 2003 when he remembered my name and recognized me from across the room after meeting me once, three months prior. No joke, he’s really really nice.
For her 21st birthday, my lil cousin is receiving what I call the Mack Stack: a collection of all the Kabuki series, plus five sketch books he threw in free when I bought the rest of the books from him. All signed, all gorgeous beyond belief.
It’s been years since I gave her a really good present because we’ve only recently come to the point where we share interests. She is now the age I was when I was introduced to David Mack’s work, and while she won’t come to the discovery with the same surprise and joy of reviving an old love, I hope she appreciates the complexity of the characters and world that he created, and enjoys his incredible experimentation with art styles.
I’d love to share some Kabuki love with my readers …. perhaps a signed sketch book giveaway?
On the financial front: I embarked on this collection project because we were browsing through the 50% off booths at Con, and I found great condition Vols 1, 4 and 6 for a total of $21. [Cover Price total: ~60] Bought the other three for full price from him directly for $51, and he gave me 5 sketch books which are usually $4/each. I prefer to give my money to the creators/vendors directly when I can afford to.
July 17, 2009
Photo credit: Me! [4th of July BBQ]Good grief!
A SBO friend relayed the story of a customer, Z, to me recently. Some months ago, Z purchased apparel as a gift to a gorgeous model-ish gal who decided that said apparel (and accessories) would become symbols of the success of their relationship.
If she decided to keep the gifts, they were on.
If she decided to return them, she was rejecting him.
Almost unsurprisingly, the chap received notice that the gifts were wending their way back to his possession, cultural differences cited as the reason for their failure as a couple. Though “disappointed,” the fella already “has another girl in the works” and rattles off the names of the designers New Gal swoons over, adding the suggestion that he is perhaps in over his head.
I’ll say! Then again, she’s got good taste, as do I. 😉 In dresses, not in men! Er …. her, not … never mind. I’m just saying that, perhaps, if the best description of a potential partner you’re able to provide is that of his or her labels, there’s not much of a foundation for a strong relationship than one might hope.
Or am I the hopeless romantic here? Is this typical of the high-powered, big-money types of relationships?
December 31, 2008
We had a laaaazy sort of Christmas gift exchange this year, so I didn’t open the last of my gifts until day before yesterday.
It’s one of the more modest exchanges we’ve had, the big group of friends didn’t attempt a massive Secret Santa thing for once, work didn’t bother to do anything, etc. ’twas sort of nice!
I bought myself the laptop and my business suit, and will be paying for some minor tailoring. Work related, yes, but we’re calling them gifts. 🙂
Actual gifts:
A most lovely Brooks Brother’s miracle white button down shirt (needs a tiny bit of tailoring), and a great pair of Banana Republic Martin fit pants that fit per-fect-ly. The pattern is the tiniest herringbone I have ever seen, and cute besides!
Three pairs of trouser socks. I looooove trouser socks.
A two coffee mug set complete with the most delicious smelling hazelnut coffee and chocolate syrup, all wrapped on a great tray. I don’t drink coffee, so it was reluctantly given to my coffee drinking buddy. I kept a mug, though.
An Aeropostale jean miniskirt. It’s now the shortest skirt I own … selected for me by someone six years younger and wears my size. Um, it’ll be fine as beach wear, over a bathing suit or something.
Another Bluetooth headset. Shot in the dark by my friend, I guess, ’cause I got one for my birthday but my dad needs one so that’ll be regifted. He won’t mind.
With the exception of shoes, I’ve got two very nice new professional outfits this year, which is great because I’m trying to update the wardrobe slowly and on a budget.
And I bought a set of ten thank you cards at Target last night for 74 cents, so now I can properly thank my friends for their generosity.
November 6, 2008
The weather has finally turned (what I consider) cold, hovering in the 60 degree range all week…. and I’ve been bundled up in scarf, sweater, and trenchcoat every day. I’m sure that people on the train think I’m utterly dramatic as they relax sans sweaters or coats, but I get really cold quite easily. [And the CPW has to be about $1, now! 🙂 ] The nights are even nippier and I’m thankful for my super thick Asian blankets rolled at the foot of my bed all year for the sudden change in climate. All this weather talk means is that, instinctively, I’m bracing for Christmas, and for once, I don’t have the first clue what gifts to get for anyone. Heck, Thanksgiving is practically upon us, and I haven’t even written out a gift list!
For those who need a slew of generic gifts, Plonkee’s got a great list posted, and I loved Grey’s Cake in a Mug. Generally, though, I dislike giving gifts that aren’t personalized in some way, and I don’t mean in that in the engraved-with-initials sense. As practicality-minded as I am, I much prefer to give things that the person would love and use, but not purchase for themselves. Obviously, this is much easier to do when the recipient is on a budget, and doesn’t buy everything they want. 😛
Off the top of my head, I’ll need to get a gift for:
BF
Best friends, two (we usually do a group exchange within our crowd)
Cousin
I’ve already got comics for the one friend I always exchange with, and I’m not really inclined to do anything for my coworkers. Well, maybe I’ll make them cake in mugs. My immediate family doesn’t exchange gifts, so I’m free to get gifts for anyone in the extended family if I wish.
Have you begun your lists of what to get and for whom yet?
