June 25, 2021
1. Their pain, my gain: the terrible heat wave meant we got a couple nice days and I thoroughly soaked it up. Too much, in fact, and got myself quite a sunburn reading out in the sun. Whoops. (But I got to read A WHOLE BOOK on a Saturday afternoon. That hasn’t been possible for years!)
2. Therapy was helpful as I continue to work through my deep rooted instincts that flare up in times of hurt and vulnerability: to push everyone away, tell myself that I’m better off alone, that no one outside my innermost circles cares about me so it’s best to self isolate more and more. I’m not fixing anything, I’m learning to feel what I feel and understand why, and let it pass so I don’t need to revert to old habits to cover up pain. It also lets me be present for JB and teach them how to grieve instead of bottling it up.
3. I set up a subscription to The Bouqs to send flower to our recently widowed family member now, and again in a month. I may keep it up for a few more months, just because.
Challenges this week: Grieving. Too too many losses this year.
Fireworks started mid June. This is ridiculous and stressful for Sera.
I have a mouse (the computer peripheral) graveyard on my desk. I’ve been trying to get a mouse to work for weeks. It keeps disconnecting. I thought it was battery related, so I switched to a really old mouse for the interim while recharging the batteries, then trying replacement batteries, but the USB doohickey still keeps disconnecting. The old mouse is isn’t a good size and it’s LOUD whenever I click so I really don’t like using it. I finally unearthed an older version of the current mouse which works but the movement was lagging just enough to make my eye twitch. Thankfully it looks like changing the cursor speed in the mouse settings fixed that bit.
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June 18, 2021
1. As a notebook hoarder, I’m pretty excited to discover that I’m within two pages of finishing up a notebook. I’ve been chronicling my day to day completed tasks and checklists since March in a single little book. It’s fun to cycle through my colorful pens and helpful to manage my expectations for work in writing. Now I have to decide which notebook to use next and do I keep the completed books? Probably for a little while, there are some reference bits in there that I may need to look back to.
2. Our insulation is helping! Our floors aren’t nearly so frigid and we don’t need to bundle up in three layers (or run the heat) to stay warm enough to function every day! It’ll be ages before we break even on the money front but I don’t care. We’re feeling the benefit every day and we’re not wasting heat when and if we do run the furnace.
Challenges this week: Our friend has passed and we’re all grieving deeply.
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June 11, 2021
I had a hard time coming up with anything for this list at first, but here goes!
1. I made a sale on Poshmark! Yay!
2. That little kitchen scale PiC pushed me to get has come in handy for clearing to-do items off my list. I needed to go to the post office for two packages that had been waiting for ages but I simply haven’t had any time or energy to fit that in. The scale took care of figuring out postage for two of the four things that didn’t merit going out flat rate.
Challenges this week: My back pain is back. I’ve not done my planks in months, and I’m not even getting out for a walk once a day, so of course it’s back. I should have remembered to start them again once sleep training started taking hold, I had stopped because of neck pain flaring up and just being too dang tired to exist. Back to planking.
I’m struggling with grieving our friend as they enter hospice and their final days of life. It’s setting off my defense mechanisms where I distance myself from people, tell myself that they don’t care about me anyway, and go into my antisocial-shell in a futile attempt to protect myself from further pain. It won’t protect me at all but I’m learning to recognize that’s what my instincts tell me to do.
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January 18, 2021
Just like that, 2021 is our fourth year of supporting Lakota families on the Okini! Can you believe that?
In 2018, a small group of us came together to give holiday gifts to Lakota families. It went so well that in 2019, I organized again, earlier in the year, and expanded to include holiday gifts and winter needs.
The goal for 2020 was to make this a year-round project. Despite the complications of COVID, my pregnancy, and the turmoil of a Presidential election year in the United States, we still helped a huge group of families. Together, we put $2153.05 to work responding to ten separate requests. One request was a repeat from a very large family (of 21 people!) that we had previously helped with diapers and sanitary health needs – this was when COVID hit and they needed materials to make masks for the family. We helped more than 54 people: elders, working adults, single parents, large sibling groups, expected bundles of joy.
I had added a rural libraries component last year but that may have to go on hold this year to ensure I can continue to serve the main project well while we have an infant at home and are still staying at home.
I’m kicking off 2021 with a boatload of goods to the Allen Youth Center (dedicated to helping Lakota youth). I’m loading up a cart of diapers, wipes, body soap, shampoo and conditioner. If we get a lot of early contributions, we can add the other requested items of laundry soap and lotion, and more diapers. (We can only send four cases of each size of diapers at a time, if and when they’re available to ship.)
In addition to helping the families on the Okini through the year, I’m also interested in finding out how the Sponsorships work. I don’t know if they will be a good fit but I’d like to find out. Let me know if you’re interested in knowing more about the sponsorships and I’ll report back when I have a chance.
I hope you can join me and/or share the project!
You can make contributions to ….
1. My Ko-Fi page (note: Ko-Fi flows through Paypal so they do take fees out)
2. You can send as a gift (otherwise PayPal will take fees out) to admin [at] agaishanlife.com. If you’re sending via PayPal on mobile, make sure to click on the arrow next to “paying for goods and services” to select “send as a gift” because that’s tripped up more than one person!
3. If you’d like to donate monthly (Paypal charges fees for this), you can use this donate link.
:: Contributors get first updates by email, and I include some details in my monthly money reports afterwards.
January 8, 2021
1. I had splurged on some warm clothes for myself and they finally arrived! Pile lined sweatpants and fuzzy lined sweatshirts, where have you been all my life? This is the first time I’ve been able to walk around the house in a normal number of layers of clothing and not be cold! I’m calling it my bear suit. One might argue comfort and being warm isn’t a splurge, a dear friend made that exact point, but my brain would be confused by that.
2. On a whim, I picked up long beans and garlic black bean sauce at the local grocery store. Together, they made a delicious veggie dish! We finally have a veggie I won’t get sick of after two servings (I hope).
3. At least one of my healthcare professional relatives has been offered and given the vaccine.
Challenges this week: Mild grumble – why is my ortho office constantly marketing to me? I committed to treatment, you don’t need to keep sending me marketing emails! So weird.
I feel like a zombie. Sleep deprivation, OMG.
Moderate grumble: Comcast has been a RIGHT PAIN. I’ve been working “with” them (just holding onto my patience for dear life as I try to get them to help) to get our internet back up and running since before Christmas. They have definitely NOT fixed the problem. One technician did come out and replaced all the bad cabling but there’s still a problem with their network that they have identified but it’s like pulling teeth to get them to get a second tech out for this known problem.
Severe: I continue to work my way through the ups and downs of depression. The weight varies day by day.
The coup attempt at the Capitol Building, aided by the Capitol police WHO LET THEM IN, was another … I don’t even know what to call it. The fact that 45 is still trying to fraudulently negate the election results here in 2021 is infuriating.
:: How was your week?
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January 1, 2021
HAPPY NEW YEAR! May 2021 be vastly kinder to all of us.
1. Two of my three refunds were processed without follow-up from me. Yay! I just need that last one …
2. After months of being exasperated that our only tongs and spatula were in use in some other cookery, I bought two more tongs and a second spatula. Sometimes it makes sense to spend some money to solve an annoyance!
Challenges this week: I plunged into deep depression mid-week. True to form, I was still physically functional, just mentally/emotionally thrashed.
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December 25, 2020
If you celebrate, Merry Christmas!
1. We will only be doing quiet presents at home this year with JB instead of flitting hither and yon. While I miss my people, I won’t pretend I’m not appreciating the lack of travel and schedule-juggling stress.
2. Refund central: I found a minute to process a bunch of returns. I was a week late on one of them and had to ask for an exception to the closed return window. Thankfully, I was able to get an exception for that item which was worth over $100 and get all three packages in order.
3. We renewed our Cal Academy membership this year to continue supporting the museum. Our compromise was to renew at a lower Family tier since we won’t actually be going there any time soon. This is more of a tax deductible donation this year. We’d splurged on the Family Plus level last year with the expectation that we’d be bringing guests with us through 2020. Clearly, that was a bust. We don’t mind supporting the Academy but we do want to allocate some of that elsewhere to other needs.
4. Our Saturday was full of unexpected treats. We started out on a bad note – I had severe muscle aches and chills which were very likely just due to my fibro and sleep deprivation but we also had a precautionary COVID test scheduled so I figured it was just as well that we’d be tested and I could be sure it’s just my usual “body is broken” random grab bag of symptoms. We decided to take a walk on a nearby trail just to get some fresh air since I hadn’t left the house all week. Turns out that the dog park was overrun with dogs and an absolutely adorable pitbull puppy kept following us around. It eventually left with its family but JB got to say hi. Then we discovered a nearly empty playground and PiC took pity on JB who desperately wanted to play for a bit. In the interest of supporting local / small business, I gave PiC the nod when the ice cream truck came around – JB got an overpriced popsicle which never happens. And then, our friends showed up at the park because they had plans to meet up with other friends. So we got to say hi at a safe outdoors site and that was lovely. But I was absolutely bushed after and needed a long rest.
Challenges this week: Our friend fighting cancer isn’t doing well. I’m worried for them. Our time left with Seamus is growing short, going by his increasing shakiness.
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